tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12904643940793754922024-03-14T05:03:14.251-05:00Welcome to the coffee houseI love the feel of going to a coffee house, the aromas as you walk in and the warm welcome you receive from those working there. I could spend hours each day just siting and chatting with a friend, shoes kicked off and simply relaxing. So this is our own little coffee house. Kick off your shoes and join me for a fabulous cup of coffee while we talk about anything and everything!Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.comBlogger180125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-59272671796764483052013-04-08T08:00:00.000-05:002013-04-08T08:00:09.608-05:00Simple Secrets To Enjoying Marriage: Part 2Last week I shared part one <a href="http://joinmeforcoffee.blogspot.com/2013/04/simple-secrets-for-enjoying-marriage.html">HERE</a> and mentioned that I found 10 simple secrets in 1 Peter 3:8-12 that you can apply to your marriage to help your relationship more enjoyable. <br />
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<b>1 Peter 3:8-12 says "Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.”</b><br />
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But since i'm a slightly long winded person I was only able to get through four of those ten things so i'm going to try to finish up today! So let's start where we left off...<br />
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<b>5. Have a humble attitude</b><br />
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Stop thinking about yourself!!! Nobody wants to be around a person who's primary focus is themselves. They are impossible to please and will suck the life right out of you! <b>If you are an "all about me" person you can suck the life and joy right out of your marriage without even trying.</b> You have to take your eyes off of you and put them on your spouse.<br />
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<b>C.S. Lewis said "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less" and that's exactly what you have to do in marriage. <br />
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I think a lot of problems in marriage would almost solve themselves if people would just stop thinking about what they want or how they feel or what they need, and instead focus on what their spouse wants, how they feel and what they need. When you both focus on each other instead of yourselves you are both taken care of, and that's honestly how God designed it to be.<br />
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<b>6. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you</b><br />
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In The Message version this part says "No sharp-tonged sarcasm". <b>Do you know what would happen in your marriage if you got rid of sarcasm?! </b> Now i'm not talking about playful banter here, I personally don't see anything wrong with them at all. What i'm talking about are the hateful sarcastic comments. People so often use sarcasm to say the things they can't just say outright. <br />
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And really, we've all done this! You're in the middle of a disagreement, or your spouse did something you didn't like and you don't want to be openly hateful so you just get those little jabs in there. <b>Stop it!</b> You can't enjoy your marriage if you're always on guard with each other waiting for the next "sharp-tonged" sarcastic remark. <br />
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<b>7. Find ways to bless when you've been wronged</b><br />
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This is incredibly difficult to do but can bring so much healing to your marriage! You have to face the fact that your spouse is going to do something to hurt you at some point in your marriage, you married a flawed human being and it's just going to happen. <br />
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<b>But here's a novel idea...when your spouse does do something that hurts you, don't look for a way to hurt them back.</b> I know this can go against every one of our natural tendencies but fight that urge! Do something instead to bless them or help them. God can easily work in that kind of environment, and that's really what you want. You can easily enjoy a marriage that God is moving and working in!<br />
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<b>8. Don't speak evil. Don't tell lies.</b><br />
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Both of these should be pretty obvious, and yet, not speaking evil can be one of the hardest things to get under control! Some of the definitions of evil are "immoral; wicked; harmful; or marked by anger or irritability". Any talk that would fall under this definition needs to be taken out of your marriage.<br />
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Think about your conversations with your friends about your spouse. Do you keep all evil words out of those conversations? That last half of the definition is where I think most people get caught up, we aren't to speak to or about our spouse with words "marked by anger or irritability" and sometimes that can be really hard to do!! But you'll enjoy your spouse and your marriage a lot more if you learn to talk to them and about them with love.<br />
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<b>9. Turn away from evil</b><br />
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Take that definition of evil that we just saw and put it here. Anything that is immoral, harmful, marked by anger or irritability needs to be removed from your marriage. And expanding on the definition a little, anything that is "sinful, depraved, vicious, corrupt, vile or destructive" also needs to be turned away from. <br />
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You need to not only work to turn your marriage away from absolutely anything that would fall under these definitions of evil, but you also need to work on turning yourself away from them. You'll never be able to turn your marriage away from them if you aren't first turning yourself. <b>Understand that the direction of your marriage will follow the direction you personally take. Your marriage follows you.</b><br />
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This goes from not only your actions but also your thought life. I've found that what you think about and dwell on usually comes out in your words, then your actions and can then become your lifestyle. So if your thought life is filled with all these definitions of evil in regards to your marriage, it won't be long before your words and actions are filled with them to. <br />
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<b>Psalm 19:14 says "May the words from my mouth and the thoughts from my heart be acceptable to you, O LORD, my rock and my defender."</b> We have to let the words from our mouth, and the thoughts from our heart be filled with good, not evil!<br />
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<b>10. Search for peace and work hard to keep it</b><br />
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This one right here pretty much sums up the whole thing! If you are working for and looking for ways to keep peace in your marriage, you're going to enjoy your marriage a whole lot more! <b>But remember, John 14:27 says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you."</b><br />
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The peace we need to have working in our marriage will only come from Christ. You can't search for peace or work to keep it in your marriage without going to Christ, it's only found in Him!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pq8cCWX23LQ/T_znsGLHEoI/AAAAAAAAA3k/TK5n3FRWL5U/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pq8cCWX23LQ/T_znsGLHEoI/AAAAAAAAA3k/TK5n3FRWL5U/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-46801976871898336062013-04-01T08:00:00.000-05:002013-04-01T08:00:14.301-05:00Simple Secrets For Enjoying Marriage: Part 1My most favorite thing to talk about on this blog is marriage. And since it's been so long since i've done so on here, let's start with one very important fact...marriage is hard. Let's just get that out there right up front! <b>Living with a person, and sharing your life with them is one of the most difficult things in this life.</b> Now i'm not down on marriage or trying to scare anyone off, but if i'm going to talk about marriage, i'm not about to pretend that it's a piece of cake either!<br />
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Living life with another person, sharing your finances, sharing your preferences, sharing your role as parent, learning how to give and take in a balanced way, learning all of their likes and dislikes, learning how to give up your way sometimes...it is hard! When you're in the goo-goo loving, can't keep your eyes off of each other, all I want is you, stages of dating this one very important fact seems to disappear from sight. But it doesn't usually take too long after "I do" to come and smack you in the face! <br />
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When my husband and I first got married I thought marriage would be easy. I'd been living life for all of 18 years at that point and staying alive wasn't actually too difficult so marriage shouldn't really add that much difficulty to the mix right? Ha! I remember being completely shocked at how hard it was to be married, and for that first year I thought married life was just going to be miserable at least 90% of the time. Isn't that sad?! <br />
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Thankfully we aren't at the point in our marriage anymore (Thank you Jesus!!) but we were there for a while, and I know so many other couples have been there, or are currently living there in their own relationships. <b>As sad as it is, a difficult and even miserable marriage is a reality for so many people, and the fear of living that way forever is what drives so many to divorce instead. </b><br />
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I wish I could sweep into every one of those couples homes and wave a magic wand over them and magically make them happy and able to enjoy marriage, but I can't. When Colby and I were struggling so much I wanted someone to come in and fix our problem and make everything suddenly all better! But the reality of the situation was this, <b>there were only two people who could change our situation and of those two people, I only had control over one of them.</b> <br />
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You only have control over you. You can only work on you. You are the only part of the problem that you can fix. All that time sitting around thinking about how much your spouse needs to change, and wishing you could just fix them, is nothing but a big ol' waste of time!<br />
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So what did we do to go from a miserable marriage to an enjoyable marriage? I could tell you all kinds of things we did, some successful, others not so much. But why listen to be when you can listen to the Apostle Peter instead?<br />
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<b>1 Peter 3:8-12 says "Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and his ears are open to their prayers. But the Lord turns his face against those who do evil.” </b><br />
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I believe that the secrets to enjoying your marriage are found in those verses right there. I found 10 things in those verses that are key to being able to enjoy your marriage, and I believe that when you and your spouse work on each of these things you'll be shocked at how much more you enjoy each other. <b>But remember, you can only work on you! Forget about what your spouse is or is not doing and focus on you for a minute here.</b> Now i'm not going to get through all 10 things in this one post or i'd lose everyone's interest very quickly! But i'll get through a couple of them and do the others in another post.<br />
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<b>1. Be of one mind</b><br />
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The most important thing you can do in your marriage is understand that you are one! You stopped being able to just worry about you the day you got married. Get it out of your mind, and out of your choices. When you're in the middle of a conflict it's very easy to get in the mindset of "I want to win" but that mindset can't exist in your marriage. You are one. <b>If your spouse loses, so do you because you are one. </b><br />
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When making decisions, think as one. Don't only think about what you want or how you feel about it. Make your first thought be about how you as one will handle the decision, and how you as one will be affected by the decision. <b>The most selfish and self centered people, often times have the most miserable marriages.</b> Living selfishly will make your spouse nothing but miserable, which will make your marriage nothing but miserable. <br />
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<b>2. Sympathize with each other</b><br />
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The definition of sympathize is "To feel or express compassion, as for another's suffering. To share or understand the feelings or ideas of another". <b>Never ever belittle how your spouse feels! You don't have to feel the same to validate their feelings.</b> A situation doesn't have to affect you the same way for it to affect your spouse. I think a lot of times people are very quick to blow off their spouses feelings about a situation just because they don't feel that way, so they can't understand how their spouse does. Get past that and learn how to sympathize with your spouse.<br />
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<b>And ladies, make sure your husband can trust you with his emotions.</b> Our culture is very against men having emotions, so men are taught that tears and sadness are signs of weakness. Don't make your husband feel that way. It's true that most men aren't quite as emotional as women are but that doesn't mean they are, or should be treated like they should be, emotionless. Let your husband trust you with whatever emotions he has.<br />
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<b>3. Love each other</b><br />
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This word love in the Greek is philos-<b>a friend; someone dearly loved (prized) in a personal, intimate way; a trusted confidant, held dear in a close bond of personal affection.</b> <br />
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There is a sexual love that's in marriage, it's great and it's very needed! But there's this whole other side of love that we forget about sometimes, and that's what this love here is talking about. Love your spouse. They are to be valued by you. You are to treat them like a trusted confidant, not someone you have to hide your personal stuff from. Hold them dear to your heart in such a close, personal and intimate way. <br />
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<b>There should be no one in your life that you love more, not your friends, not your kids, not your parents...no one!</b> Which, according to the definition of this word, means that there should be no one in your life that you are more intimate with, no one that you trust more, and no one that you hold more dear than your spouse. <br />
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<b>4. Be tenderhearted. Don't repay evil for evil.</b><br />
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A lot of times we kind of lump tenderhearted in with sympathize but they're actually very different. <b>A tenderhearted person shows compassion and mercy when they've been wronged. </b><br />
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I wish we lived in a perfect world where our spouse never hurt us or wronged us, but we just don't. There will be times where your spouse completely wrongs you. There's no getting around it, they're just plain wrong! And in those situations you have the choice to react one of two ways...you can either hold it over their head and try to make them pay (they are in the wrong after all and they totally deserve it right?!), or, you can show them compassion and mercy. <br />
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There are times where you may feel like you have every right to make them pay, and in all honesty you may be right, but a tender heart won't allow it. <b>You have to cultivate and build a tender heart for your spouse in the good times when they haven't hurt you, so that in those not so good times when they've hurt you more than you know what to do with, that tender heart kicks in and shows a compassion that your hurt may not understand. </b><br />
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I'm going to stop here and do the other 6 in my next post, or at least try to do all 6 then! I know that each of these four can give us plenty to work on for now. And no matter where you're at in your marriage, a good season or an absolutely miserable one, there is always room to work on these areas! Never get to the point where you think you've got it all figured out and you don't need to learn or improve anymore.<br />
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Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-58186341909406557052013-03-30T09:00:00.000-05:002013-03-30T09:00:07.676-05:00All We Need Is...Well it's that time again...it's time to open up my laptop and let the words flow. There's only a tiny problem with this, it's been about eight months since my last blog post!!! Considering I wrote three times a week for almost a year this blows me away. Over the past year Colby and I started a couples group at our church which is awesome and something I completely love, but I spend a lot of my time each week studying for that and I ended up just letting this blog go. But over the last few weeks this tiny little blog, and the overwhelming desire to sit down and write again, has started to fill my thoughts.<br />
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So today I sat down to try and write and...nothing. After writing has filled so many of my thoughts for the last few weeks I finally set time aside to actually get something out there and absolutely nothing would come out. Now that's not to say that I couldn't think of anything to talk about, it was exactly the opposite actually. Topic after topic, and idea after idea filled my mind and made it impossible to write anything. <br />
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Should I talk about marriage, or sex, or family, or lessons i've learned with my kids lately, or gossip and rumors, or the church, or Jesus, or....the list goes on and on! I want to talk about it all and I want to do it right now! Of course I know that i'd lose everyone's interest in no time at all if I ran back and forth between topics and carried on for pages and pages. So i've decided that for today i'm actually not going to talk about any of those things! Today the thought that is consuming my mind and jumping to the front, is love.<br />
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A few days ago the air1 verse of the day was 1 Corinthians 13:7 but I like verses 4-7 so that's what i'm sharing here. Those verses say <b>"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."</b><br />
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These are verses that we all know. We've heard them at least a dozen times and most Christians can quote at least parts of them. <b>But my question is, do you know these verses or do you live these verses?</b><br />
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Knowing you should love is one thing, but living that love is another. Knowing you should be patient and kind is one thing, but living patiently and with kindness is another. Knowing you should love through every circumstance, and actually loving through EVERY circumstance is another. <br />
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See what Paul is talking about here is the kind of love that puts yourself last and puts those around you, those you are called to love, first no matter the circumstance. The problem with this is, we live in an "all about me" culture and if that "me" isn't taken care of we suddenly forget the whole love thing. If something in the bible is hard to do, we throw it out, call it old fashion and say it doesn't apply to us anymore, and i'll be the first one to admit that loving like these verses talk about is HARD. But the fact is, the Word doesn't change. <br />
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<b>Hebrews 13:8 says "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."</b> And that same Jesus, who never changes, is the one who loves us in every circumstance, is patient with us, and kind to us, and never rejoices in our injustice but only ever rejoices when truth wins out. His love never gives up on us, it never runs out and it never loses hope, no matter what.<br />
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Now I know things are hard. I know people hurt you. I know people wrong you, sometimes on a regular basis. <b>But I know what Jesus said. He said, "love". He didn't say "love if...", He said "love".</b> <br />
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I'm not trying to sound like some 1970's flower child walking around singing "All we need is love" here but think about it...<br />
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If we had love, would we hold on to that grudge, or let it go and hold onto forgiveness instead?<br />
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If we had love, would we share the latest piece of gossip, or work on speaking only good and truth about our friends and those around us?<br />
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If we had love, would we give up on a difficult situation or relationship, or would we fight for it?<br />
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If we had love, would we remember every time we were hurt and pull out our list of wrongs all the time, or lay each one down at Jesus feet?<br />
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<b>See it's so easy to think about how we were wronged, or how we were hurt and completely forget about how WE wronged or how WE hurt. And in spite of all that, Jesus loved.</b> He forgave and chased after and never gave up on us. That old "WWJD?" phrase that everyone talked about for a while really is a good question. What would Jesus do? In this case that's easy to answer because He already did it. He loved. He forgave. He sacrificed. He let go of our past and allowed us to build a new future. <b>How on earth can we think we have a right to do anything less that what Christ himself did for us?</b><br />
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This might be a little too strong of a post for my first post back in such a long time but I think it's needed. I've seen so many situations and relationships lately that just need this one thing! I'm not trying to down play the difficulty of this one thing, but difficult and impossible are two completely different things! I don't know about you but I serve a God who says in Him, ALL things are possible and that gives me great hope, in even the most impossible situations. <br />
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<b>1 Corinthians 13:13 "But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."</b><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pq8cCWX23LQ/T_znsGLHEoI/AAAAAAAAA3k/TK5n3FRWL5U/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pq8cCWX23LQ/T_znsGLHEoI/AAAAAAAAA3k/TK5n3FRWL5U/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-81943498123799102422012-07-11T07:00:00.000-05:002012-07-11T07:00:17.476-05:00SeasonsHello old friends! The last few weeks this little blog has been heavy on my heart and i've continued to put it off, telling myself that i'm much too busy to take the time to sit and write like I used to do, and surly after all this time no one would even be interested in anything that I would have to say. But right now i've decided to just make the time! So here we are. I have my cup of peppermint tea and my favorite writing music is going...i'm in the zone! But now that i'm here, what should I write about?<br />
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I could come up with some nugget of marital wisdom to share. I could talk about all the things God has been doing in my life the last few months. I could share some of the things He's been teaching me. I could tell some funny stories of things my kids have done. The list of what I <b>could</b> talk about goes on and on. <br />
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But my heart for this blog has always been to talk about things that will matter in you, the readers, life. I tried blogging about nothing and it got, well, nowhere. It was pointless and pretty much worthless and I have no desire to do that again. <br />
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So my dear readers, what is something I could talk about today that would reach out to where you are, give you a big cyber hug, a little encouragement and even just a small little pick-me-up?<br />
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As I thought over this question and tried to think of something to say that could reach out to even one person that might read this, God put a couple of verses on my heart so I just decided to share those with you.<br />
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<b>Ecclesiastes 3:1-8</b><br />
<i>For everything there is a season,<br />
a time for every activity under heaven.<br />
A time to be born and a time to die.<br />
A time to plant and a time to harvest.<br />
A time to kill and a time to heal.<br />
A time to tear down and a time to build up.<br />
A time to cry and a time to laugh.<br />
A time to grieve and a time to dance.<br />
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.<br />
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.<br />
A time to search and a time to quit searching.<br />
A time to keep and a time to throw away.<br />
A time to tear and a time to mend.<br />
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.<br />
A time to love and a time to hate.<br />
A time for war and a time for peace.</i><br />
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The whole concept of "seasons" has been on my mind so much lately because i'm seeing so many different seasons of life unfolding around me, in my life and in the lives of people around me. Some of these seasons are great and are bringing great changes into lives, and some of the seasons aren't so great and bring pain with with. <br />
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I could never even try to guess where everyone of you are at in life, or what season you may be facing, so I won't even try. But <b>I do know that each one of you are in a season of some kind.</b> It may be a wonderful season, a heartbreaking one, or one that feels very bland with not much to it. <br />
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But even in all of the may seasons the Bible talks about, <b>there is one season we will never ever face</b>. A season of being alone. <br />
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Now give me a second here, I know some of you may be saying to yourself "But I AM alone!" so don't brush me off just yet. I have had times in life where it felt like there was no one. I didn't feel like I had anyone I could turn to or count on, everyone around me seemed to be the ones hurting me and that's a really hard place to be. But there's 2 other verses that are important to remember if you're facing this situation...<br />
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<b>Romans 8:38-39</b><br />
<i>And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.</i><br />
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See sometimes the thing that can get us down the most is focusing on how we <b>feel</b> instead of what we know to be the <b>truth</b>! <br />
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This isn't really some life changing way of thinking, these are very common verses that most people have heard at some point in life. <b>But I think sometimes we forget to take the Word of God and personally apply it to our lives.</b> Instead of just reading "Nothing can every separate <b>US</b> from the love of God", we need to be saying "Nothing can ever separate <b>ME</b> from the love of God". <br />
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There's something amazing about realizing that the Bible was written for each of us individually, and we can each take these words and claim them as our own! That's a powerful thought!<br />
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Like I said before, I don't know where each person is at in their lives or what all of you are facing, but I don't have to. <b>We have a great big God who sees right where you are, and knows exactly what season you are facing, and He wants nothing more than to remind you that He is right there and He loves you.</b> No season you face in this life will ever separate you from Him!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pq8cCWX23LQ/T_znsGLHEoI/AAAAAAAAA3k/TK5n3FRWL5U/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Pq8cCWX23LQ/T_znsGLHEoI/AAAAAAAAA3k/TK5n3FRWL5U/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-69601778419150036962012-02-28T12:49:00.001-06:002012-02-28T12:50:04.996-06:00Far Too Long6 Weeks. Yesterday was the 6 week mark of my last post on here. I haven't gone that long without writing in almost a year! I have thought about all of you so many times during these weeks and ached to get back here, yet every time I sit down to write again something comes up. Either my house is a mess, my kids need something, exhaustion takes over, or a complete lack of knowing what to say sets in. Regardless of the reason, I have now seen 6 weeks go by without so much as a "Hello" to all of my wonderful readers!<br />
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But today is my birthday! So as my present to myself, I am forcing myself to ignore as much housework as possible and sit down for a cup of coffee with all of you. Somehow though, i'm at a loss. The same fear I used to feel every time I sat down to write has set in all over again and I feel as though i'm back in uncomfortable territory with all of you. <br />
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I have never been a very confidant person, never very bold in what I say to others when it comes to my thoughts and opinions on things. Until this blog. Writing on here about marriage over the last several months took me to a whole new place! It was a place where I could openly say exactly what I thought and believed and the worst that would happen was i'd get a harsh comment or possibly lose a follower every now and then. I began to get a little more confidence and sort of find my way a little bit. I started learning how to share what I really thought about things and yet do it with complete love for those that didn't agree with me. <br />
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Then, just as I began to get comfortable God started changing things up on me and pushing me further into uncomfortable territory and my husband and I started teaching a couples group at our church. And I just thought writing about things was difficult!! Talking face to face with people about things you believe in and things the bible teaches is a whole different ball game! You can see their faces when they disagree with you and for someone who really wants people to like them, that can be a hard thing to take. <br />
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But I am constantly reminding myself of a saying I heard some time ago that says, "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called". I know that was the case when I started writing this blog and I believe that to be the case in the new faze of ministry that we have found ourselves in now. <br />
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But where does that leave this blog?!? As I said several weeks ago, I know i'm not done here. I love writing and talking openly and honestly with all of you about real things that are going on in life. But I don't think i'm going to just talk about marriage on here anymore. I know that talking about many different subjects is a huge "no-no" in the world of blogging but I think that limiting this place to only one topic simply cuts out a lot of important things! There are so many blogs out there on marriage, parenting, housekeeping, recipes, and the list goes on and on. I simply can't compete with them, so i'm not even going to try! I am just going to be me. I'm going to write how I write and talk about things that God puts on my heart. The topics may be all over the place and I may miss days here and there (although I will try to not go 6 weeks without writing ever again!) but that's just how i've decided to do things. :o)<br />
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If you have stuck with me all this time, even though i've gone so long without writing, I want to say a HUGE thank you to you! You readers are why I write. I love "talking" with each of you about all the many things we've talked about before and can't wait to start talking again. I've said before that I really want to talk about things that really interest you guys so if there is anything you would like to read about or hear discussed on here please let me know! You can comment on here, email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com, or you comment on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/joinmeforcoffee">Facebook</a> page as well. Wonder what we'll talk about first...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8vjw51Lthio/T00hJkIFvoI/AAAAAAAAAvU/qD7oJtxSXw4/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8vjw51Lthio/T00hJkIFvoI/AAAAAAAAAvU/qD7oJtxSXw4/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-69555193965001617112012-01-16T07:00:00.004-06:002012-01-16T07:00:10.523-06:00What If There's No Love?!A few weeks ago I wrote a post talking about loving your spouse and I talked about the fact that over the course of your marriage you need to fall in love with your spouse over and over. I explained that one way to do this if you're struggling in this area is to remember back to what you first loved about your spouse and build on that. Then about a week ago I received a comment on that post from a bit of a different perspective. This woman asked what should be done in a marriage where the couple had never actually been in love, they had married for all the wrong reasons and 15 years later there was no way to dig up a love that may have never been there. What then? I responded that I needed a few days to pray about it and I would do an entire post on that subject because i'm sure she is not the only person to have ever dealt with it. So here are my thoughts...<br />
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First of all my heart absolutely goes out to this lady and anyone else who may be facing this situation! It would be awful to be in a loveless marriage and feel like you're simply biding time until your kids grow and you can leave. That's a hurt i've not faced and can't even imagine. However I will say that, my heartfelt sympathy does not change what I believe the word of God says so I have to go with that instead of just the sympathy I feel for you. <br />
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<b>Mark 10:6-9 says But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” </b><br />
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This is the same thing that was said in the book of Genesis when Adam and Eve were created and God himself created marriage. That was a marriage that lasted, I believe for over 900 years. These were 2 people who literally met and married. There was no chance to get to know one another or fall in love. <b>They met, married and were commanded to stay married. Period.</b> This is not the only situation like this in the bible either. In fact, <b>many marriages were arranged marriages, often times with at least the woman not even having a say about whom she was to marry and yet they were still told "What God has joined, let no man separate"</b>.<br />
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Now I am in no way advocating arranged marriages! However I am pointing back to when the covenant of marriage was created by God Himself, love wasn't even something He addressed. This idea that marriages should only last as long as "love" is there is simply not biblical! *I will say if there are issues like abuse or adultery happening that is a different situation entirely and should be handled completely different.*<br />
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I listened to C.S. Lewis chapter on christian marriage when I was considering what I should write about and he addressed this idea much better than I ever could. With that being said I will simply quote him and let him speak for himself...<br />
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<i><b>"The idea that ‘being in love’ is the only reason for remaining married really leaves no room for marriage as a contract or promise at all. If love is the whole thing, then the promise can add nothing; and if it adds nothing, then it should not be made. And, of course, the promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits me to being true even if I cease to be in love.</b> A promise must be about things that I can do, about actions: no one can promise to go on feeling in a certain way. He might as well promise never to have a headache or always to feel hungry. <br />
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<b>People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on ‘being in love’ for ever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are entitled to a change — not realising that, when they have changed, the glamour will presently go out of the new love just as it went out of the old one. In this department of life, as in every other, thrills come at the beginning and do not last."</b> </i><br />
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So you see, marriage is not about the thrill of being in love, yes that is a wonderful part and something that I wish for every married person. However, if you are living a Christ centered life and in doing so work to have a Christ centered marriage you will have to accept the fact that not feeling in love is simply not reason enough to end a marriage. <br />
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I am not saying that you have to accept that fact that you will live a miserable life in a lonely marriage! <b>I am simply saying that you don't get to just walk away because you aren't "in love".</b> You are going to have to put some work into the relationship. You may have to look for something, even a tiny little thing, that is even worth liking in your spouse and pray for it to build from there. <br />
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Something I have prayed many times in difficult situations is<b> "God, i'm not willing right now, but i'm willing to be made willing".</b> You may not be willing to work on your marriage and find ways to love your spouse, but if you can get to a point where you are willing to be made willing. <b>God can do mighty things!</b><br />
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One last thing and then i'll be done for now... What if you married the wrong person? What if your spouse wasn't "THE ONE"? <b>The moment you entered into your marriage covenant, they became the one!</b> We don't live in an age of arranged marriages anymore which means that, most likely, you willingly chose to enter into your marriage. Hind sight is 20/20 and looking back on things maybe you should not have gotten married but that fact is you did. <b>What is important now is what your chose to do with your marriage. God has given you ALL the tools you need to make your marriage work in His word. Will you use those tools? The choice is up to you...</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EFjXHT1Gysc/TxNgXl_A9NI/AAAAAAAAAuw/fE26WyQTVbo/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EFjXHT1Gysc/TxNgXl_A9NI/AAAAAAAAAuw/fE26WyQTVbo/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-72910509802853385722012-01-09T07:00:00.006-06:002012-01-09T07:00:08.013-06:00I'm Back!!!Goodness, it's hard to believe that it's been about two weeks since i've been on here! I have been very busy around here with Christmas, family gatherings and just enjoying my kiddos while they were out on Christmas break. We've had so much fun sleeping in, watching movies, playing together and finishing out our break with a tent/movie day. I've caught up on some much needed rest and been able to take some time to just slow down and relax which has been absolutely wonderful! However, today throws us back into reality and into the busyness that is our normal life. Not only that but a few things have been added to our "normal" that I wanted to share with all of you!<br />
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A little over a year ago I felt that God had something in mind for my blog, I had been writing on it for a couple of years just off and on, mostly about the daily nothings that happened in our house (which were really of no interest to anyone but me!). But I began to feel a stirring that He had something more in mind for my writing and for me. I just had no idea what it was. So I prayed about it for a few months and then began my "mini-series" on marriage in April of last year. I thought I would write for a couple of weeks and then move on. I had absolutely no idea that it would be something i'd write about 3 times a week for the next eight months, or that I would go from about 10 to 150 followers in that time! <br />
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Once I started writing in April, I began to have another thought stirring in my heart and began to pray about an area of ministry that I felt God was pulling my husband and I towards, and that was a ministry for newlyweds. I prayed for the next few months, talked with my husband and a close friend and finally decided to go to the leaders in our church with the idea. With all that being said....My husband and I will be starting our new group, Solid, next week at our church for couples married 5 years or less! Not only that, but a friend and I will begin leading a women's bible study on the book of James which starts in just a few weeks.<br />
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All that back story is just to say that, I am going to be cutting back my time here a bit. I am going to go from writing on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to just writing on Mondays. I absolutely LOVE writing on here and just can't give up on it but I know that if I try to continue with my three times a week not only will my time with my family suffer but my writing will suffer as well. There are some ladies that can home school multiple children, lead bible studies and write every day. I am simply not one of them. <br />
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So please bare with me as my writing cuts back and continue checking in here each week. Or if it would be easier for you, feel free to simply subscribe to my blog, that way each new post will be emailed directly to your inbox and you won't have to check in to see when i've written (if you do this, be sure to check your spam folder for your conformation email if it doesn't show up in your inbox instantly). <br />
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Oh and one other thing...would you all pray for my husband and I as we start this group? And for the group itself, that God would accomplish exactly what He wants in each of our evenings together? Thank you all so much. Love y'all to pieces!! :o)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t81iaBZZV10/Two7jg6lYGI/AAAAAAAAAug/CFeXi3Zp9wo/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t81iaBZZV10/Two7jg6lYGI/AAAAAAAAAug/CFeXi3Zp9wo/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-56260359249261993902011-12-21T07:00:00.001-06:002011-12-21T07:00:02.918-06:00Yet Another BreakAs you all may have noticed, I did not post on Monday. We had a very busy weekend at our church with our annual Christmas presentation and the time simply got away from me. With that said I think I am going to take a bit of a break from blogging. Christmas is in just a few short days and with that comes Christmas break for my kids and they will be out of school for two weeks. So i've decided to have my break right along with them! I'll have to keep up with things around the house while they're home of course but i'd like to take as many responsibilities off of my list as possible in order to spend as much time playing with them as I can. I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I look forward to seeing you all again in 2012! :o)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xMDGkXl1th4/TvFbE2kCazI/AAAAAAAAAuU/JQhyc2Wh7cE/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xMDGkXl1th4/TvFbE2kCazI/AAAAAAAAAuU/JQhyc2Wh7cE/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-27464064738528886392011-12-16T07:00:00.001-06:002011-12-16T07:00:09.038-06:00Enough Said...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nkdrvAfPYzg/TurZjS5MvXI/AAAAAAAAAtw/fGd5yXxY6B8/s1600/Marriage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nkdrvAfPYzg/TurZjS5MvXI/AAAAAAAAAtw/fGd5yXxY6B8/s400/Marriage.jpg" /></a></div><br />
Need I say more?!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nA4NhAV7H-E/TurZnJAjBdI/AAAAAAAAAt8/JIxnEZkjvBU/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nA4NhAV7H-E/TurZnJAjBdI/AAAAAAAAAt8/JIxnEZkjvBU/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-27280631656585478062011-12-14T07:00:00.007-06:002011-12-14T07:00:16.168-06:00Marriage Is Like A Road TripMy husband loves cars, always has and probably always will. One of the best parts of a vacation to him is the road trip and I think if we just flew somewhere he'd be utterly disappointed! So when I came across this paper today talking about this topic I knew I just had to share it. We were a part of our church's couples group for about four years and learned SO much during that time, things we've put into practice in our marriage and this particular topic is no different. <br />
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<b>How to keep from going in the ditch.</b><br />
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<b>1. Stay in your own lane... Give each other space.</b><br />
Now, I am all about sharing every part of your life with your spouse and am in no way advocating living separate lives! But you know what? Sometimes you just need a little time to yourself. If your spouse has had a difficult day, give them some time alone. Let them have a little quite time in the room before bombarding them with all the things going on around the house.<br />
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<b>2. Yield signs are there for your protection... Validate each others opinions, thoughts and quirks. </b><br />
You know that sign on the road as you're going around a curve that says "SLOW"? I wish in marriage we all had one of those to hold up at times! There are just some times in conversations that we can get ourselves in trouble by simply putting our foot in our mouth and saying the wrong thing. Having our spouse hold up that "SLOW" sign as we're starting to say something stupid sure would be helpful! As it is, we simply have to watch for those signs ourselves. Pay attention to what your spouse is saying and learn to not only read them and how they're feeling about something, but also take that reading to heart.<br />
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<b>3. When you find yourself at an empass...slow down...get there alive...take another route.</b><br />
There is absolutely nothing in marriage that has only one way of handling it. It doesn't matter if you're dealing with a big issue like in-laws and finances or something simple like what you're going to eat for dinner, there is always more than one option and more than one way to get to peaceful ground. If the way you're doing something or a decision you've made is bringing nothing but conflict, find another way to do it. It really is ok! Solving the conflict is the important part, not how you solved it.<br />
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<b>4. Don't play chicken!</b><br />
I think that is one of the dumbest games ever! It's explained as "a game in which two drivers drive towards each other on a collision course: one must swerve, or both may die in the crash, but if one driver swerves and the other does not, the one who swerved will be called a "chicken," meaning a coward". Can you honestly see anything good ever coming out of something like that? In marriage that "game" and type of thinking has absolutely no place whatsoever!<br />
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<b>5. Road rage is misspent anger.</b><br />
This one probably hit me the hardest. I am so bad at taking my anger out on my husband. I can be angry at something one of the kids did or something that happened during the day, and as soon as my husband gets home I finally let it all out on him. Let me tell you...nothing good ever comes from that! It doesn't in my marriage and it won't in your marriage. I promise! learn to get control of your anger and not spew it all over your spouse.<br />
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<b>6. Exit ramps should be approached with caution.</b><br />
This is a big one in todays society. It seems like everyone is looking for a way out of their marriage and anything their spouse does can be a cause for divorce. Getting out of your marriage, or even thinking about getting out, should be something that is approached with great caution and care. It should never be a rushed decision made in the heat of a moment. It should never be something biased on your feelings. And it should never be done without the guidance and counsel of someone in spiritual authority such as a pastor. When you get alone and make decisions like this by yourself, you open yourself up to all kinds of bad choices!<br />
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So there you go, 6 steps to help your marriage avoid going in the ditch! What are some things you've used to help keep your marriage on track?<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fod2SZjRPWI/TugEiLyQq-I/AAAAAAAAAtg/7NqoSF46Kbo/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fod2SZjRPWI/TugEiLyQq-I/AAAAAAAAAtg/7NqoSF46Kbo/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-58951591894818675742011-12-12T07:00:00.002-06:002011-12-12T09:36:10.705-06:00SantaA couple of weeks ago I posted something (and did just a little venting) about Santa on my facebook and I think I left some people a little confused about what I think. So since I have a place where I can talk about these things, I just decided to go into a little explanation!<br />
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In our house we don't do Santa with our kids and never have. We've told them from the beginning that he isn't real and the men they see dressed up as Santa are men in costumes very much like the men in Mickey Mouse costumes at Disney World. We have also explained to them very seriously that many other kids do believe in Santa and they are NOT to tell them that he isn't real. Since the older kids are in school we've had a little harder time keeping them from telling other kids but we still give it our best shot.<br />
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However, not everyone else is as courteous about this issue when it comes to my children. On several different occasions I have had people tell my kids that he is real and I was wrong, and one went so far as to tell them flat out that I was lying to them. This is where my frustration came from when I posted on facebook. When you ask a child what Santa is bringing them for Christmas and they respond with "He's not real. Mommy and daddy buy our presents." no one should ever tell that child that their parents are lying to them and Santa is real!<br />
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Now I completely understand that many other people do the whole Santa thing at Christmas and it's a really big deal in their house. And you know what? I don't care! It does not bother me or matter to me at all. One of my closest friends does Santa with her children and it honestly doesn't bother me even a tiny little bit. It is a choice she makes for her family just like it was a choice we made for ours. <br />
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There are so many things in this world to spend your time focusing on and I just don't think that Santa Clause should be one of them. Each family should be able to decide for themselves what they want to do with their children without feeling judged by others. Come on, life is too hard without adding extra stress about Santa! Let's leave that decision to each individual family without making them feel ridiculous one way or the other. And I will add, if you come across a child who doesn't believe in Santa, please don't tell them their mommy is lying to them! <br />
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I believe that as Christians we celebrate Christmas as Jesus' birthday (I know there's a lot of history there but this is why we celebrate it today). That's the basic bottom line for believers. If some of you want to throw Santa in there and have a "Santa gift" under your tree as well, it should matter to no one but you and your family. This is a time of year to celebrate the gift of Jesus and yet so many people get so busy judging each other for either doing or not doing Santa and I think it's just ridiculous!<br />
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Let's just put all of that aside this year and focus on the reason that we as Christians celebrate this season, and let's leave all the rest of it to each individual family to decide what else they want to bring into the holiday. <br />
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When the angels came to the shepherds to tell them about the birth of Jesus, one thing they said was "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men". That should be our focus this season, not whether or not other families do things the same way you do. Let's turn our eyes to Jesus and focus on the gift He gave, and do everything you can to keep peace with those around you this season.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cYTTfkmPxeM/TuXtXrK4gfI/AAAAAAAAAtU/4REPuMelb-8/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cYTTfkmPxeM/TuXtXrK4gfI/AAAAAAAAAtU/4REPuMelb-8/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-27921696573861338752011-12-09T07:00:00.002-06:002011-12-09T07:00:08.900-06:00Fun Friday: Date Night On A DimeIt's been awhile since i've done my Fun Friday posts but i'm finally bringing them back! For those of you who are new around here, what I like to do on Fridays is post about things you want to hear about. You can leave comments here on my blog, or on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/joinmeforcoffee">Facebook page</a> or you can email me with any thoughts or questions at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com. So moving right along...<br />
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This week let's talk about date night on a dime! I love date nights with my hubby, they're just some of my favorite nights of the week. We are very blessed to have our Friday nights to ourselves almost every week while my kids enjoy some time with their Nana, and it really gives Colby and I a chance to relax, unwind and reconnect. But date nights can get pretty pricey if you're not careful and sometimes it seems like unless you spend a ton of money there isn't much to do. Well we have never had a bunch of money to spend on a date and we live in a town where the only thing to do really is eat so we probably couldn't spend much on a date even if we wanted to! So when a friend on facebook suggested this idea for a Fun Friday topic I thought it sounded like a great idea!<br />
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Now, my husband and I are fairly plain Jane when it comes to dates. For the most part we're happy to sit on the couch in our jammies and watch a movie without being interrupted 20 times by our children! So I will say that some of these ideas are things that we ourselves have not done, but I do think i'll be adding them to the list of things to do in the future.<br />
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The basic: dinner and a movie.<br />
This can actually be a really cheap date night! If you get a frozen pizza, box of popcorn and a movie from <a href="http://www.redbox.com/">Redbox</a> you're looking at a date night for about $10. Need it to be even cheaper? Cut out the pizza and make something you already have on hand. If you do that and find some popcorn for around $2, you're looking your date night only costing you about $4. That's pretty cheap!<br />
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Star gazing.<br />
Not only can this be really fun, but staring up at the stars can also be pretty romantic. Lay out a blanket and count the stars or see if you can find any constellations. Spend some of your time just talking. It's so hard sometimes to sit aside specific time to just talk so this would be a prefect opportunity.<br />
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Have a marshmallow fight.<br />
Each of you get a bag of marshmallows and have an all out marshmallow fight! Then after you finish you can light a fire (or do like us and sit at the stove) and roast some marshmallows or make smores!<br />
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Take a walk or go jogging.<br />
Again, this is just spending some one on one time together without any other distractions. Set aside that time to just talk, it's so important!<br />
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Have "his" and "her" nights.<br />
Each of you take turns planning a date night and cooking the meal, get creative and try something new. But make sure only one of you oversees everything that evening.<br />
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Go for a picnic in the park.<br />
Go all out! Take a blanket, picnic basket (if you have one) as much food as you can and sit on the ground for an all out picnic! When you're done, spend some time playing on the play ground, swing on the swings and slid down the slides. Remember what it was like to be a kid on those swings and enjoy it now with your spouse.<br />
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These are just a few simple ideaa to kinda get you jump started. Do any of you have any cheap date night ideas? I'd love to hear them so please, leave them in the comments!<br />
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<i>Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/joinmeforcoffee">Facebook Page</a> or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.</i>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-23456920969078338492011-12-07T07:00:00.003-06:002011-12-07T07:00:09.303-06:00PerspectiveI know I just did this last week but I wanted to share another old post. I wrote this almost two years ago and it's always been one of my favorites, I only had about 10 followers when I wrote this so I just decided to dig it out again! <br />
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<b>Just one mom's perspective</b><br />
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I recently took some time-while folding laundry-to rewatch the "Anne Of Green Gables" movies and fell in love with Anne all over again! I haven't watched those movies in such a long time and it brought back so many memories, I think I laughed harder, and cried harder for that matter, this time than I ever have before. Now that I’m older and get so much more of it the whole thing just came so much more alive for me. I remembered being a little girl and having the imagination of Anne and even wishing I could be her, she had a much more interesting life than I did and she had red hair! I would've loved to have red hair, it would've been much better than plain old dirty blonde!<br />
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One of my favorite scenes in the whole movie is where a mouse drowns in the sauce for the plum pudding that they were making for dinner that evening. She tries so hard to tell Marillla that she was imagining she was a nun....and forgot to put the cover on the sauce and a mouse drowned in it. That was me as a kid! I had a poster hanging over my bed that said "I mean to work hard Lord, but I keep running across things that are much more fun to do!" That was my life! I lived in my books and in my imagination. I thought there was nothing greater in the world than putting on my dress up clothes and walking into my world of make-believe.<br />
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However I lived in my world of make-believe for far to long, I took it with me into my teen years and even the early years of my marriage. I grew up planning what my life would be like and what kind of husband I would have, all the romantic things he would say and the 1000's of times he would bring home roses. I was going to keep a perfect house and raise the perfect children who of course would always look liked they just stepped out of a children's clothing add and would never dream of disobeying me! I of course would be the perfect american housewife, I would always be dressed in the latest fashions and keep a spotless house, and of course there would be a beautifully cooked meal on the table for breakfast lunch and dinner every single day! My christian walk would be picture perfect, I’d never miss a day in my bible reading and would be known among my friends as the "perfect Christian"! I would also be the perfect mother; I’d never ever lose my temper with my children who were just as perfect as I was. After all, they would have me as a role model, why wouldn't they be perfect?!<br />
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To that description all I have to say is....HA! I would love to say that I just described our home to you but I didn't even come close! While yes my husband is amazing, he sadly doesn't sit around all day dreaming up romantic things to say to me, nor does he come home with a huge bouquet of flowers each and every week! He loves to sit and watch tv or work on the computer instead of listing all my charming attributes, imagine that! My home is far from perfect! The outside needs painted and patched in several places, it is far from the dream house I’d always planned on; and the inside? Lets just say you can tell 3 kids live here! As for those 3 kids, they are amazing and absolutely the cutest kids in the world-in my humble opinion!-but they are hardly ever fixed up and perfect looking. On the rare occasion that they are fixed up just right with every hair in place, it usually only lasts until I place the finishing touches on them if that long. They don't mind me all the time and have been known to throw some royal fits! Which is of course shocking, after all, they do have me for a role model. Why aren't they perfect children?! Oh yeah, they have me for a role model...<br />
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I, sadly, am not the perfect american housewife that I planned to be. I am not always dressed perfectly; in fact right now I am still in my pj's drinking my coffee! I don't think my house has ever been spotless and I have NEVER served a beautiful breakfast, lunch and dinner all in one day! I am not a perfect mom, and sadly, I often lose my temper with at least one of the kids and even my husband! I am far from perfect and have made some pretty huge mistakes in my life. But you know what? I'm ok with all this. I will never be mistaken for Martha Stewart for my elegant home or Julia Child for my gourmet cooking; you will also never see me on the cover of a fashion magazine and I’m ok with that. I'll probably never be up for Mother of the Year, and I sure won't be known as the best and most perfect wife, and I’m ok with that. And would you believe it? I'm not a perfect Christian! I actually go days without reading my bible and even sometimes would just rather stay home and sleep than get up at 6:30 in the morning to go to church!<br />
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See my goals for my life have changed, I no longer try to be all those things and I no longer expect all those things from my husband or kids. I have accepted the fact that I am not a gourmet chef or a wonderful house keeper-I actually rather hate cleaning! I'm also not the world’s greatest mom and I’ve even stopped trying to be. I no longer expect perfection from my children or endless romance from my husband. I'm learning to accept each of them for who they are with all their strengths as well as all their weakness. After all, that's what I want from them! <br />
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You know, I’m not the perfect mom and yes I do lose my temper way to often with my kids but you know what? There is no one in the world who loves my kids more than I do and no one who will try harder to make their dreams come true for them-excluding my husband of course! My new goal is to always hold them when they cry, to laugh at their silly jokes, to do everything I can to encourage their dreams and to teach them everything I can about having a personal relationship with Christ! As for that "perfect Christian" stuff?! Once again...HA! I could sit here all day long and name every sin I’ve ever committed and never even finish. I don't know how many times I’ve asked for forgiveness because I’ve committed the same stupid sin once again! But thankfully my Heavenly Father is incredibly forgiving, He allows me to come to Him each and every time and willingly offers forgiveness, love and grace each time I mess up.<br />
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I don't know if anyone else has ever dealt with these things or if anyone will even be able to relate to what I’m talking about but if you can I want to say something specifically to you....Relax! Take some time right now and breath. Stop trying to be everything for everyone and just be who you really are! No one will ever be Jamie like I can be Jamie! No one will ever be you like you can be you! I've taken some time lately and still am in fact trying to figure out what I want from my life-Martha Stewart and Julia Child aside-and while I may never have it all figured out I am getting some of it figured out. I challenge you to do the same.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eWyzBVNYzvQ/Tt9Toeo7glI/AAAAAAAAAs8/t1WtUcsXkiE/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eWyzBVNYzvQ/Tt9Toeo7glI/AAAAAAAAAs8/t1WtUcsXkiE/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-49839702963661905712011-12-05T07:00:00.000-06:002011-12-05T07:00:01.945-06:00It's About The Same PersonSome time ago I was perusing books at the christian book store and I saw <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Coffee-Moms-Devotional-Inspiring-Devotions/dp/0830746463">THIS</a> book titled "The Coffee Mom's Devotional". Being the coffee lover that I am I picked it up and started skimming through it. I didn't end up getting it but I did find a quote that has stayed with me. <b><i>"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."</i></b> by Mignon McLaughlin<br />
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I absolutely loved that! How often have you heard about someone getting divorced because "They fell out of love" or they're just " incompatible"? It seems to be one of the most common reasons for divorce these days, marriage is all fine and dandy as long as the gooshy in love feelings are there. But once real life kicks in and things get really hard, that's when you find out what your marriage is really made of! So often people choose to simply walk away and find a new spouse to be "in love" with. <br />
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I love my husband. I often get those gooshy feelings about him and he can still make my toes curl with a kiss. But i'll be very honest here, it hasn't always been that way between us. We have had times where we weren't "in love" with each other and during those times it was easy to think our marriage wasn't going to make it. Walking away would have been the easy choice. Sure, it would have hurt at the time and our kids of course would have been affected by it but we still could have done it. But instead of choosing to walk away we chose to dig in and fight harder. We chose to remember why we had gotten married in the first place, dig deep down where it had been buried and uncover the love we had for each other. And through those times, we fell in love with each other all over again.<br />
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If you're in a situation that is anything like this (because I know we were not the only ones to ever face this) I so strongly encourage you to not give up! It may seem like you've been fighting for your marriage for long enough and it's just time to give up but I beg of you, fight longer. Take some time and remember what it was about your spouse that you fell in love with to begin with. What did they do or say that made you go weak at the knees? What was it about them that drew you to them? Is there even a tiny glimmer of that still in them? If not, take the time to look for a positive characteristic that they have and put all of your focus on that. Encourage that in them and build that up. As I posted <a href="http://joinmeforcoffee.blogspot.com/2011/11/how-are-you-treating-him.html">HERE</a> you have the choice of who you talk to in your spouse, either the king/queen in them or the fool in them. I believe that every time you talk to the king/queen in them and see that rise up all over again it also causes that love to rise up as well. <br />
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Now think about your situation...where are you at in love with your spouse? Is this something you are struggling with? Do you need to fall in love with them all over again? I encourage you to give this situation, and your entire marriage, over to God. Ask Him to stir that love for your spouse up in you. You don't have to walk away and find a new spouse to be in love! Learn to once again love the spouse God gave you. It's often been said that love is a choice and I believe that with everything in me. You have to wake up everyday and choose to love your spouse. Regardless of what they do, I really do believe that the choice is up to you.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b1oPSqpoH1Q/TtwRUwtewVI/AAAAAAAAAsw/7L6pB8aKqbE/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b1oPSqpoH1Q/TtwRUwtewVI/AAAAAAAAAsw/7L6pB8aKqbE/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-63717792745547482962011-11-30T07:00:00.002-06:002011-11-30T07:00:00.932-06:00ControlI have discovered something about myself...I am a control freak! It's not an issue in every area of my life but I have to admit that I do like a lot of things done a certain way in a specific time frame (just ask my husband!). But sometimes that can really cause problems! <br />
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As I was thinking about this I remembered an older post i'd written on this subject. It's from March of this year and i've gotten many new followers since then so I decided to share it again with all of you. If you struggle with control, I hope you enjoy this post and know that you're not alone!<br />
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<b>Struggles</b><br />
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I have been going through a very hard time lately. It feels like my mind and emotions have just been under a huge attack. It seems like no matter what I do or how much I pray, I can’t get past it. My husband even talked to me about it and said he’s been feeling the same way and seeing the same thing. In fact, it was him talking to me about it that showed me what’s really been going on. See at first it just felt like a pity party. How many of you girls have ever felt the need to just sit down and have a good old fashioned pity party? You know the one, it makes you want to sit in the corner and sing “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms!”. <br />
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But after feeling this way for very long, I started to feel like it was getting out of my control and my emotions were beginning to get control of me. Ever felt that way? <br />
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But control just began to add to the problem. See I felt that if I could just get control of it, instead of allowing my emotions to have control, I could get rid if the attack. If I could just understand what was happening I could control it. Have you ever felt that way? Like you could do it yourself, control it yourself? I’ve found out that as soon as I start feeling that way, the problem only gets worse. And it did.<br />
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Thankfully I serve a mighty God who sees me exactly where I am and meets me right there and knows exactly what I need to get through. <br />
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Yesterday morning I read 4 little verses that changed things for me. For some reason I decided to read Jeremiah 29:11, it’s a very familiar verse and one I’ve prayed over my children on several occasions. But this time I read it with myself in mind and I also read the verses after it which are not often quoted with it but are very powerful.<br />
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11. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.<br />
12. Then shall you call upon me, and you shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.<br />
13. And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all you heart.<br />
14. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord…<br />
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I love how this is said in the King James version. The thoughts God thinks towards me are of peace. Peace was exactly what I needed. Peace over my mind. Peace to my need to control. Peace over my pity party. Peace. Perfect peace. <br />
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I love how the Amplified version says verses 12 and 13.<br />
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12. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to me, and I will hear and heed to you.<br />
13. Then you will seek Me, inquire for and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.<br />
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How comforting is that? Here I am, feeling like I’m doing all this by myself , like I have to figure this all out by myself, and God used these familiar verses to show me that I’m not. All I have to do is simply call on Him. All I have to do is pray with all my heart, with everything I have. He’s right here, just waiting for me to call out to Him. <br />
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See, by me trying to take control of the situation I was effectively making the problem worse. I wasn’t only fighting myself in this situation, I was fighting the One who needed to be in control and just making a mess of the whole thing.<br />
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Once I was able to turn the problem over to Him, and once I began to “seek Him, inquire for and require Him [as a vital necessity] “ the peace that He wanted for me the whole time began to take over. <br />
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Now that’s not saying that the desire for control will never creep up on me again, but I do know what to do with it when it does. I can’t face attacks on my own. I can’t solve the problems I face on my own. I can’t survive my day to day struggles on my own. So each time I face a problem, attack or struggle, I’m going to seek, inquire for and require Christ as a vital necessity. And I know that as soon as I do that I’ll be ok.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q_Uu3preDqo/TtWk3eLbR0I/AAAAAAAAAsk/IWHegQzj3t8/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Q_Uu3preDqo/TtWk3eLbR0I/AAAAAAAAAsk/IWHegQzj3t8/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-53395333235427943382011-11-28T07:00:00.007-06:002011-11-28T07:00:09.128-06:00Tiny Prints Christmas CardsI'm not a big fan of blogs promoting things but sometimes a girls just gotta do what a girls gotta do! I won 50 cards from <a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/shop/picture-christmas-cards.htm">Tiny Prints</a> if I blog about it, and to me that's a really good deal. So here goes.<br />
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I love Christmas cards! With my husband being a photographer it kinda seems like sending them out is a must. But i'm not great at the whole "Year in a letter" thing that goes in a lot of cards. With that being case, I like cards that you can put several pictures on (of my kids of course!). Now here's where you guys, my awesome readers, come in. <a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/shop/picture-christmas-cards.htm">Tiny Prints</a> has a TON of different cards to choose from and i've spent the last 2 days narrowing it down. I've finally gotten it down to my 5 favorites but I just can't decide past that! So you guys get to help me decide which card our family will be sending out for Christmas. Leave a comment below telling me which one your favorite is and the one with the most votes will win. Here you go...<br />
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<a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/product/28466/trifold_holiday_cards_sheer_collage.html">Option 1</a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3W0x6Rkl2Ps/TtLK4dwlDpI/AAAAAAAAArc/7FyAD3KzNEA/s1600/Card%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3W0x6Rkl2Ps/TtLK4dwlDpI/AAAAAAAAArc/7FyAD3KzNEA/s400/Card%2B1.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/product/30359/diy_cards_7x5_holiday_card.html#color/01/pid/30359">Option 2<br />
</a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XkS4wqoRGGI/TtLK4S8XlOI/AAAAAAAAAro/5wh3x9mKbDE/s1600/Card%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XkS4wqoRGGI/TtLK4S8XlOI/AAAAAAAAAro/5wh3x9mKbDE/s400/Card%2B2.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/product/25803/christmas_cards_hanging_hexagons.html">Option 3</a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HMAvbK17HzE/TtLK4jr7cKI/AAAAAAAAAr0/_KY_LZax5jc/s1600/Card%2B3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HMAvbK17HzE/TtLK4jr7cKI/AAAAAAAAAr0/_KY_LZax5jc/s400/Card%2B3.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/product/19212/flat_holiday_photo_cards_festive_lyrics.html">Option 4</a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f5fgswifQGY/TtLK4xNaP_I/AAAAAAAAAsA/WLlIc8AHx7k/s1600/Card%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="284" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-f5fgswifQGY/TtLK4xNaP_I/AAAAAAAAAsA/WLlIc8AHx7k/s400/Card%2B4.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/product/20701/die_cut_christmas_cards_damask_darling.html">Option 5</a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ILmj_Qs2irw/TtLK5GFAN6I/AAAAAAAAAsM/4bF0Ej8PkOs/s1600/Card%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ILmj_Qs2irw/TtLK5GFAN6I/AAAAAAAAAsM/4bF0Ej8PkOs/s400/Card%2B5.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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Now that you've all helped me decide what card our family will be getting, take a few minuets and look at all the cards <a href="http://www.tinyprints.com/shop/picture-christmas-cards.htm">Tiny Prints</a> has to offer. They even have matching address labels you can get! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wuElv4BpO-E/TtLLW26YptI/AAAAAAAAAsY/M2HmcVcvI9M/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wuElv4BpO-E/TtLLW26YptI/AAAAAAAAAsY/M2HmcVcvI9M/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-221985442387937812011-11-23T07:00:00.000-06:002011-11-23T07:00:10.413-06:00Thank You!<i>Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God ~ Philippians 1:3</i><br />
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Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow, I have so much to be thankful for in my life and will be spending the rest of this week enjoying time with my family and friends. But I wanted to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of my readers. Thank you for joining me on this blogging journey. Thank you for following along and for all the wonderful comments. Thank you for your input and your interest in my posts over the last several months. You all are the reason I write! That verse really does say it all...Every time I think of one of you, I thank God. I hope each and every one of you have a wonderful and blessed holiday! Love you all. Happy Thanksgiving!!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZWAkbmRLjSo/Tsx3AnpKc2I/AAAAAAAAArQ/e88bc_uTdhE/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZWAkbmRLjSo/Tsx3AnpKc2I/AAAAAAAAArQ/e88bc_uTdhE/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-25675604200008764252011-11-21T07:00:00.001-06:002011-11-21T07:00:10.102-06:00To Good Not To Share<i>"Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side." — Zig Ziglar</i><br />
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I saw this quote and just had to share it. It's just too good!! How often does that seem to be the biggest problem in marriage? You and your spouse get into a situation and react as if you were on different sides and are now fighting each other. <br />
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Today i'm keeping it short and simple because I really think that quote says it all. So just keep this quote in mind the next time you get into a conflict of any kind with your spouse and work on working together instead of fighting against each other!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_rmxA6XwFfg/Tsm2K7QGh3I/AAAAAAAAArE/6cRlObOg7Bw/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_rmxA6XwFfg/Tsm2K7QGh3I/AAAAAAAAArE/6cRlObOg7Bw/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-1272247819249534852011-11-18T07:00:00.002-06:002011-11-22T08:39:45.009-06:00How Are You Treating Him?Today my husband posted this status on his facebook page. <br />
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<b><i>"You get treated like a dumb animal long enough, that's what you become." -Trumpkin, The Chronicles of Narnia. Ladies, how are you treating the man in your life? Like a dumb animal or a capable leader?</i></b><br />
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I don't know about you but that made me stop and think! I've said before that inside every man is a king and a fool. Whichever one you talk to is the one you'll see. But I loved how my husband put this today. So often when we get frustrated with our husbands we can end up talking to them like a dumb animal that must be corrected and trained. How foolish that is!<br />
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Our husbands have been charged with the daunting task of leading our families. They are the ones that will stand before God and be accountable for what is done in our home and how we're led. And yet so often we treat them like they're too stupid to do anything. <br />
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Men today are portrayed in almost every area of the media and the world as big ignorant children who don't know which way is up. They're wives are viewed as the only smart ones in the relationship and she most often treats the men like stupid children. Then we wonder why so many men are not acting like the responsible head of their household!<br />
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In <i>Ephesians 5:33 it says that women are to respect their husband</i> and let me tell you,<b> you can not respect your husband and treat him like a "dumb animal" at the same time. It is simply not possible. One of those will take over and form your view of him.</b> <br />
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Let's face it ladies, for men to be seen and talked to different, it's gonna have to come from us and it's going to start in our homes. And something to remember is,<b> the way you speak to your husband is how your son will expect to be talked to and how your daughter will talk to her husband.</b> It all starts with us.<br />
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Girls, we have to understand that we have so much power in the words we speak to our husbands! I know i've quoted this verse before and i'm sure i'll quote it again but <i>Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue".</i> That is a verse that should constantly be on our minds when speaking in and about our marriages and husbands. <br />
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<b>It's time we stop speaking to the dumb animal and start speaking to the capable leader in our husbands!</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--svglWKHSw8/TsXXY4t0nnI/AAAAAAAAAq4/yhEf9DPv8i4/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--svglWKHSw8/TsXXY4t0nnI/AAAAAAAAAq4/yhEf9DPv8i4/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div><br />
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<a href="http://www.time-warp-wife.blogspot.com"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_mBDOgI2CpKc/TSgYwKLdB4I/AAAAAAAAA68/Da4RHbwfjew/s1600/Titus_2sdays_button.png" /></a>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-18376470534718451302011-11-15T07:00:00.008-06:002011-11-15T07:00:22.196-06:00Do You Dream Together?Have you ever had a dream? Something inside of you that you wished or hoped for? I know I have many things that I wish for and dream about having. I dream of having a Victorian style house with a wrap around porch. I dream of taking a vacation to Maine and spending time sitting on the beach with my husband, with my toes buried in the sand and just drinking in the sunset. I dream of the day that all of my children will finally be potty trained! I dream of being used by God and making a difference in this world. See, I have many dreams! But you know who else has dreams? My husband, Colby....<br />
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Join me over at <a href="http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/2011/11/day-28-do-you-dream-together.html">Time-Warp Wife</a> for the rest of this post. It's part of her 31 days of love marriage challenge and you don't want to miss it. While you're there, take a look back at some of the previous entries!<br />
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<a href="http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/search/label/Marriage%20Challenge" ><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-OoI6iuNtaQw/Tm-ut18B3dI/AAAAAAAACFo/tE2dp8yfGbQ/s400/october.jpg"/></a>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-19757214029847584312011-11-14T07:00:00.002-06:002011-11-14T07:00:16.930-06:00PostponedHey everyone, my post for today has been postponed until tomorrow. I'm guest posting on another blog tomorrow so be sure to check back in for the link. You won't want to miss it! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LIfHNeqbgXE/TsEN0AnvnUI/AAAAAAAAAqY/B48BxDWz64U/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-LIfHNeqbgXE/TsEN0AnvnUI/AAAAAAAAAqY/B48BxDWz64U/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-69279606852277942762011-11-11T07:00:00.002-06:002011-11-11T07:00:15.735-06:00To Busy To Get BusyI talked on Wednesday about being too busy during the holidays and gave a few ideas on how to make this time of the year a little less stressful. Now let's talk about how busyness can affect our marriage. <br />
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Girls let's face it, we work from the time our feet hit the floor in the morning until we collapse into bed at night. I doesn't matter if we are stay-at-home-moms or we also work outside of the home, we are constantly going and the holidays are no different! With that being the case, I think that sometimes we can get so busy we begin to neglect not only are interaction with our husbands but we can also begin to neglect them sexually. Now it's been awhile since i've talked about sex on here so bare with me as I blush my way through this subject once again. :o)<br />
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We all know how important it is to set aside time just for you and your husband. But how often is that the first thing to go when we get busy? It's so easy to push it aside and fill our time with everything else going on around us, but it can do such harm to your marriage. <br />
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My husband and I have 3 children all 6 and under so we stay very busy in our house. It seems like one of them needs something from us every few minuets, so that along with all the housework that comes from a family of 5 can run me ragged. By the time the kids get in bed and we finally have "us" time i'm often to exhausted to do anything other than sit in a coma-like state! <br />
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But sometimes my husband needs me to wake up and show him a little attention! I have to be very careful to not use every bit of my energy on the housework and kids, but to purposely reserve some of that energy for him. My husband is like any other man around in the fact that he has needs, sometimes he simply needs to sit with me and watch our favorite tv show after the kids are in bed. And of course sometimes he needs intimacy, which requires me to have enough energy to be an active participant!<br />
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So i'm adding one more challenge to the list from Wednesday...<br />
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Get Busy! ;o)<br />
Take some time over the next day or two and look over your schedule, find a couple of things you can give up or push back to another day in order to leave yourself more refreshed at the end of the day. Put the kids to bed a little earlier and take a bath to relax yourself if you need to but then poor yourself into your husband! Don't make him beg for your attention or intimacy with you, you be the one to make time for it and initiate it. Save some of your energy and attention for your husband and I promise you it will pay off!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dJdZmd-f2Qc/TrxZmXVOU0I/AAAAAAAAAqM/vaxWAjOycyI/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dJdZmd-f2Qc/TrxZmXVOU0I/AAAAAAAAAqM/vaxWAjOycyI/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-7117063541297630222011-11-09T07:00:00.001-06:002011-11-09T07:00:15.363-06:00Are You Too Busy?The holidays are finally approaching! This is absolutely my favorite time of the year, I look forward to Christmas from about the middle of July so i'm thrilled that it's almost here. But this is without a doubt the busiest time of the year for our family because along with Christmas and Thanksgiving, all 5 of our birthdays are crammed in from November to March. Needless to say, I am often running frantic during these months!<br />
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I'm sure there are many woman that are equally as busy during this time of the year so I wanted to talk to you girls for a bit about a few ways to make things a little less stressful during the holidays. So i've come up with a couple of challenges for us girls (and i'm even going to sneak one in for you guys too!).<br />
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#1. Remember that you can not do it all!<br />
It is absolutely impossible to try to do everything for each member of your family during this time of the year, or any time of the year for that matter. You are one woman and simply can not to the job of 2, 3 or 5 different people! Which leads to number 2...<br />
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#2. Delegate!<br />
I am the worst about doing this! I have such a specific way of doing things and the perfect idea of how something should be done or cleaned and I know that my 2, 4 and 6 year old children simply can not do it that way so I don't even have them try. This is where I need to relinquish control and teach them how to do things. And most importantly, I need to give up my idea of perfection. It really doesn't matter if the wash rags are folded exactly the same, as long as they are in the closet when we need them.<br />
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#3. Spread things out!<br />
This time of year there are always 100 things that need doing or functions that we feel we have to go to. In our family we have 5 different family gatherings at Christmas, all of which we could try to cram into 2 days if we wanted to make ourselves go crazy. Instead we spread some of them out a little and you know what? It's still just as much of a family Christmas get-together even if it happens the first part of January! It really is ok. Christmas is about celebrating Christ, not about pleasing every member of your family by seeing them at a specific time on a specific day.<br />
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#4. Just say "NO"!<br />
It really is ok to say no to things. It's extremely hard for me to do that so i'm talking to myself just as much on this one. But if you try to stretch yourself too thin and be everything for everyone then no matter what you do it will be difficult to be anything for anyone. <br />
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#5. Ask for help!<br />
If you're like me and your to-do list is a mile long, figure out what on there can be done by others and get your whole family to pitch in. If my house is a mess and it needs to be cleaned in a certain amount of time, I could run around like a crazy person and try to do it all myself. I'd probably only get about half of it done and just end up frustrated. Or, I could get my husband and kids involved in the project, get it done in half the time and avoid getting frustrated in the first place.<br />
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#6. Bonus for you guys...HELP!<br />
Ok guys, here is the biggest secret to making things run smoother in your home during the holidays. Help your wife! I know it can be so easy to let her do everything because chances are, she's very much like me and has a certain way of doing things. But even if that is the case, get in there, figure out how to do it and do it. (Girls refer back to #2 on this one!) I promise guys, you will help her out so much, fill up her love bank and help her finish early which will leave more time for the two of you to spend together all in one easy step. You really can elevate a huge amount of stress for your wife which will in turn elevate a huge amount of stress from your home.<br />
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So there you go, there are my 6 easy steps to a stress free holiday season! Just kidding, they're really not easy to put into practice nor will they make your holidays completely stress free. But they sure can help to elevate a lot of the stress you may face over the next 2 months...or just from life in general!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--4riBQ7XssE/TrLoTolfZWI/AAAAAAAAApE/h0i1s1BGjtg/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--4riBQ7XssE/TrLoTolfZWI/AAAAAAAAApE/h0i1s1BGjtg/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-56358748606302439822011-11-07T07:00:00.006-06:002011-11-07T07:00:10.761-06:005 Years Ago...Yesterday we celebrated my daughter's 5th birthday so please excuse me while I get sentimental, just for today. :o)<br />
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5 years ago I was the mother of a son. I had a rough and tumble little boy who was into everything and felt it was his mission in life to destroy everything in his path. I was still learning how to do this whole "motherhood" thing and had finally gotten somewhat of an idea of what I was doing. Then came Alexis. She was pink all over and had complete control of her daddy from the moment she was born. She was full of drama and had the strongest will that I had ever dealt with, and in five years very little has changed. And yet, much has changed. Somehow in the blink of an eye, my little Lexi went from this...<br />
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To this...<br />
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She has transformed from a chubby little toddler into such a beautiful little lady and yet I know that at only 5 years old, the transformation is only beginning. I know that one day not too far away i'll look back at the pictures from this weekend and say "where did my baby go?". But for now, i'm going to hang on to this moment, hug her a little longer and enjoy these mere moments that she is a child. <br />
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Happy birthday my sweet Alexis! There is no one else in this like you, you are truly a one in a million girl and I thank God daily for allowing me to be your mother. I love you my sweet girl, never ever forget that!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CGKXpuAT47s/TrdQsLzQdXI/AAAAAAAAAqA/OzZXhSWmcZk/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-CGKXpuAT47s/TrdQsLzQdXI/AAAAAAAAAqA/OzZXhSWmcZk/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1290464394079375492.post-27053579918009575142011-10-31T07:00:00.001-05:002011-10-31T07:00:24.671-05:00Small BreakHey friends, I just wanted to let everyone know that my week is looking huge right now and will be finished with my daughters 5th birthday. So i've decided to take the week off from writing. I will be back next Monday though for sure! Hope everyone has a great week!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vv-yLQ7RcdY/Tq3w65Z80tI/AAAAAAAAAo4/6qFYT_TnKEY/s1600/Signature%2Bcopy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="142" width="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vv-yLQ7RcdY/Tq3w65Z80tI/AAAAAAAAAo4/6qFYT_TnKEY/s200/Signature%2Bcopy.png" /></a></div>Jamiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01444460552683685397noreply@blogger.com0