Fun Friday: Date Night On A Dime

It's been awhile since i've done my Fun Friday posts but i'm finally bringing them back! For those of you who are new around here, what I like to do on Fridays is post about things you want to hear about. You can leave comments here on my blog, or on my Facebook page or you can email me with any thoughts or questions at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com. So moving right along...

This week let's talk about date night on a dime! I love date nights with my hubby, they're just some of my favorite nights of the week. We are very blessed to have our Friday nights to ourselves almost every week while my kids enjoy some time with their Nana, and it really gives Colby and I a chance to relax, unwind and reconnect. But date nights can get pretty pricey if you're not careful and sometimes it seems like unless you spend a ton of money there isn't much to do. Well we have never had a bunch of money to spend on a date and we live in a town where the only thing to do really is eat so we probably couldn't spend much on a date even if we wanted to! So when a friend on facebook suggested this idea for a Fun Friday topic I thought it sounded like a great idea!

Now, my husband and I are fairly plain Jane when it comes to dates. For the most part we're happy to sit on the couch in our jammies and watch a movie without being interrupted 20 times by our children! So I will say that some of these ideas are things that we ourselves have not done, but I do think i'll be adding them to the list of things to do in the future.

The basic: dinner and a movie.
This can actually be a really cheap date night! If you get a frozen pizza, box of popcorn and a movie from Redbox you're looking at a date night for about $10. Need it to be even cheaper? Cut out the pizza and make something you already have on hand. If you do that and find some popcorn for around $2, you're looking your date night only costing you about $4. That's pretty cheap!

Star gazing.
Not only can this be really fun, but staring up at the stars can also be pretty romantic. Lay out a blanket and count the stars or see if you can find any constellations. Spend some of your time just talking. It's so hard sometimes to sit aside specific time to just talk so this would be a prefect opportunity.

Have a marshmallow fight.
Each of you get a bag of marshmallows and have an all out marshmallow fight! Then after you finish you can light a fire (or do like us and sit at the stove) and roast some marshmallows or make smores!

Take a walk or go jogging.
Again, this is just spending some one on one time together without any other distractions. Set aside that time to just talk, it's so important!

Have "his" and "her" nights.
Each of you take turns planning a date night and cooking the meal, get creative and try something new. But make sure only one of you oversees everything that evening.

Go for a picnic in the park.
Go all out! Take a blanket, picnic basket (if you have one) as much food as you can and sit on the ground for an all out picnic! When you're done, spend some time playing on the play ground, swing on the swings and slid down the slides. Remember what it was like to be a kid on those swings and enjoy it now with your spouse.


These are just a few simple ideaa to kinda get you jump started. Do any of you have any cheap date night ideas? I'd love to hear them so please, leave them in the comments!

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my Facebook Page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

Fun Friday: Jealousy and Coveting

The topic for this weeks fun Friday post comes from a facebook friend. She said, "How about a blog on Jealousy? Covetness? Is there a good jealousy? Can you covett without it being a sin?"

When I first got this question I figured this would be an easy topic to write on. I mean, jealousy's bad and coveting is bad right? But I was a little surprised with what I found once I started looking into it. Let's talk about coveting first...

In Exodus 20 it lists the ten commandments and the last one listed in verse 17 says "You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor." The definition for covet is "To feel blameworthy desire for (that which is another's)" so absolutely anything that falls under that category is wrong.

Now I don't think it's wrong to want something that you don't have. For example, I have 3 kids and still drive a 5 seater car. I desperately want a van so we can all have more room and just not be so cramped in a tiny little car and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. However if I see someone else with a van and begin to want their specific van with an unhealthy desire, that's when it crosses the line to sin. Does that make sense?

There seems to be only one thing we can covet without sinning and that is the gifts of the Spirit. In 1 Corinthians 12 Paul talks about and lists the gifts of the Spirit and explains the importance of each gift. He ends it in verse 31 by saying "But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way". Wednesday night our pastor explained this verse and why it tells us to "covet" the gifts. See, the gifts of the Spirit belong to the Holy Spirit. In order for anyone to have any one of these gifts they have to be given by the Spirit, and in this verse Paul is saying that each Christian is to earnestly desire them. So other than this example it seems coveting anything is in fact wrong.

Now for jealousy. In studying this subject I came across THIS website that talks about the different kinds of jealousy and gives many verses for each example. They did a fantastic job so I encourage you to take a look at it and do some studying yourself.

I believe that jealousy is both good and bad. There is obviously a very unhealthy side of jealousy that can stem from selfishness, then there is the God kind of jealousy that I believe is good and can even be healthy. The bible actually talks about the fact that God is a jealous God in regards to his people. He is very jealous for our devotion and simply will not share us. In the same respect, I am very jealous for my husband and I will not share his devotion with anyone else. Do you see the connection? If another woman comes along and tries to steal my husbands devotion there is nothing wrong with the jealousy that stems from that. However if another woman simply talks to him it is not ok to react in jealousy.

In Galatians 5:22-23, Paul talks about the fruit of the Spirit and how we as Christians are to walk and live in these characteristics. I believe that by walking in these actions we can learn to control our jealousy and live in thankfulness and contentment in any state we're in and covet nothing.

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my Facebook Page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

Fun Friday: Grown-up Kids

The topic for today comes from a friend of mine. I asked my friends and readers on facebook if there was anything they'd be interested in my writing about and she wrote, "Pushing "your" goals for your child's life on them. Like a doctor wanting his kid to be a doctor or wanting your kid to live in a certain town. Or always pushing your kid to go to get that better job because you aren't happy with the amount of money they are making." Now I fully understand that my children are still very young so I am speaking on this subject with no first hand experience, however I dealt with this some from my dad as a child so I can use that and the bible to talk about this.

I believe this is a very easy thing to fall into for most parents. We have our children for 18 years to train, raise and prepare for the world so it can be very easy to also plan for their future for them. It really doesn't seem like a bad thing either, and a lot of times it isn't as long as you are planning with them and not for them. But let's look at the unhealthy side of this issue and how it can negativity affect your children.

My dad is a tennis player. He played in high school and has been a tennis instructor for all of my life and he had ideas of me working and training hard and trying to become a professional tennis player. I started playing tennis when I was about 4 or 5 years old and played regularly until I was 10. I don't really remember my dad ever telling me that's what he wanted me to become but I remember hearing him talk to others about it and I remember him pushing me to be better and work harder to improve. I honestly loved the game and still do, but I never ever wanted to do more than play casually. However I knew my dad wanted more from me so I tried. I tried and failed.

When I was 10, I played my first tournament and was crushed by the other girl. I had stayed up all night the night before and was completely exhausted, and on top of that the other girl really was much better than I was. But I knew my dad would be disappointed and that was the worst part. I was letting him down in something that really mattered to him but honestly just didn't matter to me. I only ever played one tournament after that, it was a father/daughter match and I loved spending the time with my dad.

You see, the time with him was why I had played for so long when it wasn't important to me. My dad worked a lot so playing tennis was the way I could spend the most time with him and for a long time I was willing to do it. Then I began to hate and resent the game that I used to enjoy. Eventually I began to love tennis again but i've not played regularly since I was 10 years old.

You see, every time I pick up a tennis racket i'm always reminded that I didn't accomplish my dad's dream for my life. It was never my dream but I knew it was his and I failed. I loved the game because he loved it and I played because it was an opportunity to spend time with him. But once I couldn't, or wouldn't play anymore we no longer had the connection of the game, and it was one more area of distance in our relationship.

So now let's come off of my memory lane and talk about what this can do to kids. First of all, when you have a career chosen for your child, you have decided what their future is to look like. Then if they don't want to do that or honestly can't do that career they have to live with the fact that they have failed you. No matter what, your child should never have to live with the feeling of failing their parent! There is no career out there that is so important that they should feel that way. Period. It is an awful, guilty feeling and not something you should put on your child.

Second, your child was born with their own unique talents, gifts and desires. It's our job as parents to help shape and mold them into a responsible adult but it is not our job to determine their gifts and dreams. We can encourage them and push them to do their best in whatever area their dream is in, but we can't confuse that for actually deciding what their dreams are. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you". God has a plan in mind for your child's life, a plan that He has had since the beginning of time. It is not your job to push God's plans aside to further your own plans. Yes, your child is your child on this earth but we can't ever forget that these kids are simply on loan from Him. Instead of pushing your plan and your ideas for their life on them, get before God with your child and find out what His plans are for their life. Those plans are the ones you can push forward. Those are the plans that matter.

And thirdly, when you push your plans and dreams on your child you can actually push them away from something they really do love. Like I said, I loved playing tennis and probably would have continued playing but I knew I would never measure up to the dream that my dad had so I completely quit. I lost out on the continued connection of playing with my dad and we both lost out on having that connection in our relationship.

I don't think there is anything wrong with pushing your kids to do their best and not allowing them to quit on something they love. But you have to remember that as parents, we don't automatically get to decide everything for our kids future. What career they chose, where they live, how many kids they have, and many other life decision like that are theirs to make. We have to train them to make those decisions wisely and after seeking God's counsel but that's really the extent of our involvement.

What do y'all think about this subject? Is this something any of you have dealt with? If so, what do you do in the situation?

Fun Friday: Mom-petition

The question for today comes from a facebook friend of mine. It seems that she has been struggling with competition with another mom friend of hers. Their children are very close in age and this other mother is constantly comparing them, and even ends up devastated if her child falls short in her eyes. She asked what she should do and how to best handle this situation.

This is such an easy thing to fall into, and if we're honest most of us mothers have done it ourselves at some point. If we're not comparing our kids to other kids, we're comparing them to their siblings. For example, my two oldest kids walked when they were 13 months and 2 weeks. Both of them were exactly the same in that area. Then came my youngest, she walked at 8 months old. I was shocked! Now I could have compared her to her brother and sister and thought of her as better because she walked sooner, but honestly, when a child walks is completely insignificant in the big picture of a child's life. Grades and sports are other areas that we compare our children to each other. When a child potty trains is often another area of comparison, and there are many others which are all equally as ridiculous.

So what is the very basic underlying issue when it comes to mom-petition? I believe that it is pride. Let's face it, for us mothers, especially stay-at-home-mothers, we can easily wrap up ourselves and who we are into our kids. We can feel like our worth is aligned with their success, even in small and seemingly insignificant issues. So when we see another child doing something better or sooner than our children, it can almost feel like a stab at our worth.

When dealing with this issue there are a few verses that you need to commit to memory. The first one is 2 Corinthians 2:12 which says "We would not dare put ourselves in the same class with, or compare ourselves to, those who recommend themselves. Whenever they measure themselves by their own standards or compare themselves among themselves, they show how foolish they are."
And verse 18 of that same chapter says "When people commend themselves, it doesn't count for much. The important thing is for the Lord to commend them."

According to the bible, comparing yourself to anyone else is foolish and something we should never do. If you're going to compare yourself to anyone you need to compare yourself to Christ. Period. And as for comparing yourself to someone and thinking you're better in anyway is wrong. According to this verse, lets leave the commending of ourselves to Christ. After all, when it comes from Him it's so much more rewarding!

Now for the underlying pride issue, let's look at a few verses about pride.
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom." Proverbs 11:2

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall." Proverbs 16:18

"Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5

Pride is clearly a very ugly sin in the bible. In fact, pride seems to be the cause for the very first sin in the book of Genesis. Adam and Eve became convinced that they knew more than God, not only that but they began to believe that they could be, and deserved to be, like God. Because of their pride they lost everything. A heart of pride is very clearly something to stay far away from!

Now, when it comes to your children it may seem innocent, and it may even start out that way but it doesn't stay there for long. That competitive, comparing spirit does so much harm in your life, your children's lives and the lives of those around you. You see, when you are constantly comparing your children to other children, or other kids to your kids, you can't take the time to fully appreciate who your kids are. All you can focus on is them being the best, and when they are not the best, they have failed.

You have to understand that any time you do this you are teaching your kids that they are not good enough unless they are the best at everything. Let's face it, there will always be someone out there that is better than you at something. So in essence, you are setting your kids up for failure from a very early age and teaching them that they will never be good enough. Our goal as parents is to teach our kids to do the best they can, not be the best.

I think the most important thing to remember anytime you are in this situation is found in Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago."

You see, God has a specific, unique plan and design for you child's life and comparing them to anyone else just gets in the way of that unique plan. They should never feel like they have to be like anyone else, you need to teach them to be confidant in who they are! One of my favorite quotes is "No one can be you like you can be you!". You know what, i'm not the best writer out there or the best wife or mom, but there is no one in this world who can be Jamie like I can be Jamie! I have been placed here for a specific reason that God Himself placed on my life. Your kids need to be raised with the confidence to say that about themselves and that will be so difficult for them to have if they are always taught to compare themselves to other people.

If this is something you struggle with I encourage you to stop right now! Talk to your child and explain to them that this attitude is not right, and be sure to include how very proud of them you are. Kids crave approval from their parents and it's so important that we give it to them!

If you are dealing with another parent constantly comparing their child to yours, I urge you to talk to them about it. Don't do it in the heat of the moment (if you're anything like me, it's too easy to let your emotions get the best of you) but try to find a time to sit down and talk to them about it. Let them know that this bothers you and bothers your children, if it does. Kindly ask them to stop and then if it comes up again I think it would be appropriate to remind them that you would rather they not do it anymore.

Most importantly, pray. Pray over the all the parents and children involved in the situation. God is a God of peace, not decinsion!

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my Facebook Page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.


This post is linked up with Homemaker By Choice.

Fun Friday: Homosexuality

"I'm having a hard time explaining to my oldest why same sex people shouldn't be together. It's a very touchy subject."

Goodness gracious, when you ask readers for questions you get questions!! :o) Some questions have been easy and some have been very hard, i've even lost some followers over my answers to some questions. But now I have a question that has an easy answer but yet it's difficult to give the answer. Please bare with me as I try to answer in complete honesty and love.

Let me start by saying that I believe a lot of Christians have mishandled this situation and done a lot of damage in the name of truth. A lack of love and grace has been shown from the church as a whole to people that struggle with this issue and it is wrong. Regardless of the situation a person is in, as followers of Christ, we are to show His love to each and every person.

Before I even give my opinion on this issue we need to look at what the bible says, it is the ultimate authority on every issue we face and this one is no different.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says "Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God."
Romans 1:26-27 says "Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved."
1 Timothy 1:9-10 says "For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders. The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching."

It is very clear that according to the bible, homosexuality is a sin. There is just no getting around that fact. It seems that this issue is everywhere now days, the world is completely bombarded and saturated with this. So many people are trying to normalize this and teach it as ok. The argument that "They are simply born that way" is everywhere and if you don't accept that answer you are viewed as judgmental.

I have always been of the group that never believed that a person is born homosexual however, I recently read the book "Learning" by Karen Kingsbury that has given me a different view of this issue and that is the view i'd like to share with you all today.

The fact of the matter is, each and every person is born with a bend towards sin. There are specific sins that every one struggles with every day. When I was a teenager, I struggled with lying. I lied so often about little things that I got very good at it and could lie to your face and you'd never know. Now as an adult i've overcome that sin but I struggle with laziness. I will put off housework for any little reason, I simply don't like doing it. But it's a fight and a struggle that i'm not giving up on.

You see, I could simply have said as a teenager that I was born a liar and continued lying all the time. Or now as an adult I could simply say that I was born lazy and it's ok that i'm this way, my family will simply have to accept living in a dirty house. But lying is a sin, laziness is a sin and homosexuality is also a sin.

People may very well be born with a tendency towards that particular sin but that does not mean that it is ok for them to live in that lifestyle. There is no sin out there that God simply accepts as "the way you were born" and allows you to live in. He just doesn't. For people that struggle with lying, God calls them to keep struggling! Keep fighting the urge to lie and ask God to help you overcome that sin. For those who struggle with laziness, keep struggling until you overcome that sin. And for those that struggle with homosexuality, keep struggling and ask God to help you overcome that sin as well.

Nowhere in the bible does it say that homosexuality is the worst sin known to man. If you look, it is listed right there with liars, greedy people, drunkards and even promise breakers. Yes, it is a sin, there's just no way around that. But just like any other sin out there, it can be overcome through Christ alone.

Now to answer the original question asked on talking with your kids about this issue I have a couple of suggestions for you.

1. Be sure your conversation is age appropriate.
Very young children are being forced to deal with this issue and their young minds are simply not able to comprehend it. For young children I would keep things at a very basic level. As much as the world likes to grey this issue, it is actually very black and white. You can explain that it is a sin without giving a young child too much information.

2. Find out exactly what situation they are faced with and what they think about it.
Are they dealing with friends at school that are homosexual? Do they believe that it is wrong? Before you can really talk about this with your kids you need to know exactly where they're at.

3. Get in the Word together!
You as the parent are charged with guiding and training your kids and you can't do that without the word. You have to have God talking to your kids through you and that comes from getting in the Word. Show your kids exactly what the bible says about this issue.

4. Don't cower away from it.
Your kids are having this issue and so many others shoved in their faces all.the.time. The world is not afraid to tell them that sin is fun and try to get them hooked. If you deal with them timidly you will be overpowered by the world. Speak to them with confidence in the bible and don't ever be afraid to call sin exactly what it is, sin.

5. Teach them love.
It is absolutely ok to teach your kids that homosexuality is sin. It is not ok to teach them that homosexuals are evil. It all goes back to the old saying "Hate the sin. Love the sinner.". You have to have this attitude and teach your kids to have this attitude. And you need to understand that your kids will pick up on your attitude about the situation. We are sent into the world to tell people the good news of Christ and show His love to them, and it is so important to remember that when dealing with this issue.

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my Facebook Page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

Fun Friday: The Strong Willed Child

Look at that face! Isn't that just the cutest little girl you've ever seen? She could never be anything other than a completely compliant angel right?! HA! This is my 4 year old daughter and I absolutely love her to death, but this girl defines "Strong willed child".

From the second she was born we knew she had a very different personality than our son who didn't really challenge us much and was just a generally easy going child. I was not a strong willed child at all so my little Lexi completely threw me! At 2 and 3 years old, her and I would get into these wars and I just didn't know what I was doing wrong. I was raising her the same way i'd raised my son and yet she fought me so much more than he ever did. I knew early on that she was a strong willed child but I didn't fully understand what that meant, or how I needed to parent her differently than my son who was not strong willed.

Then I got smart and started looking outside of myself and what i'd been doing, for advice on how to train her. I got advice from a child trainer in our church and got the book "The New Strong Willed Child" by Dr James Dobson. By the way, if you have a strong willed child I very highly recommend this book! It will absolutely change the way to parent your child, and give you some amazing tools you need to raise them.

I'd always heard when raising a strong willed child that all you needed to do was simply break their will. If you do that you'll be able to fully shape and mold them into the person they need to be. If you've heard this teaching or are putting it into practice with your strong willed child stop right now! Take that advice and throw it out the door. Never ever try to break your child's will, you simply need to train it. When you break their will you can crush their spirit and that is something you never, ever want to do!

Now, I may very well say some things that some people don't like but i'm ok with that. While I am no expert at all, I do have some experience with this issue so i'm simply going to go off of that in this post.

The very best advice I can give in dealing with a strong willed child is this, if your child decides to challenge you and your authority, you have to win every single time. There is just no way around this one. If your child wins, their will just gets stronger. My daughter will pick some of the strangest battles to fight, and as silly as the fight seems to me, as soon as she digs her heels in I dig mine in. For example, most of the time I let her pick out her own clothes but every now and then when we're in a hurry I will simply pick something out for her. Sometimes she's ok with this and sometimes she takes that as me declaring war and she is determined to win. While I completely agree that this seems like a silly thing to fight with her about, I do not let her win. You see, with a strong willed child it doesn't matter how silly the battle is. If they win one battle, they will fight you 10 times for the chance to win again.

A great example of this is something that happened between my sister and my mother when my sister was younger. My mom decided that my sister needed to drink a glass of V8 juice and my sister decided she would have no part of that. Well many spankings later my sister won and didn't have to drink the juice. To this day, at least 20 years later my sister still talks about that and rejoices in the fact that she won that battle. Winning is HUGE to strong willed children and honestly, it feeds the strength of their will.

Now I do think that when you have a strong willed child you have to pick your battles very carefully. I usually try to allow my daughter as much freedom as possible and allow her to make as many choices as she can. But, if I do have to make a choice for her and there is no way around it, I am aware of the fact that she may very well fight it. But one of the biggest keys to parenting a strong willed child is being a strong willed parent.

Now please don't take this as my advocating parenting like an abusive dictator! I believe you should give your children every opportunity possible to make their own choices, and they should have age appropriate freedoms. But every parent knows that there are times when you have to make an ultimate decision and with strong willed children especially, you have to train them to respond without argument. When your child is about to run out into the street and you tell them to stop, that is not the time to find out if they will mind you!

You also need to understand that the strong willed child will never grow out of this, it is something they will struggle with for most of their life. But they themselves will have to learn to not give into their will and it is our job as parents to teach them how to do that. However, if you can train their will when they are young it will be one of their greatest assets as they get older. They will not be the ones falling for peer pressure, they will be the ones creating the peer pressure. As my pastor's wife once said, when your strong willed child becomes a teenager, they will be leading their friends somewhere. How you train them determines where they will lead them.

This is such a complex subject and I know i'm not going to have fully covered it in this post so feel free to ask any questions in the comments below, or email me about any part of this that isn't clear to you. Also, if you have a strong willed child please get the book I mentioned my Dr Dobson! It is a fantastic book and he thoroughly covers this issue and answers many questions from readers in it. Learning how to parent and train a strong willed child is not something that comes naturally (unless of course you yourself were a strong willed child) so don't be ashamed to admit that you need help in this area. The sooner you do this, the better off you and your child will be.

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my facebook page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

Fun Friday: Harry Potter

Today's topic comes from a question one of my facebook followers asked. She said, "I'm wondering how many parents I guess christian parents would or do let there kids watch Harry Potter movies."

Let me start this by saying that this is one of the most difficult posts I have written so far. Harry Potter is a very beloved character to millions of people around the world and I have many friends and even family members that read the books and love the movies. I fully understand that I may not change anyone's mind and most will likely not agree with what I have to say on this subject. But regardless, I am going to be completely honest and give my opinion on the subject of Harry Potter and I apologize right now for the length of this post.

For anyone who is not familiar with these books or the story behind them, here is the brief explanation found on Wikipedia's website. "Harry Potter is a series of seven fantasy novels written by the British author J. K. Rowling. The books chronicle the adventures of the adolescent wizard Harry Potter and his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, all of whom are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The main story arc concerns Harry's quest to overcome the evil dark wizard Lord Voldemort, whose aim is to conquer the wizarding world and subjugate non-magical people, and who seeks to destroy all those who stand in his way, especially Harry himself."

When this question was first asked of me I was very nervous about it, I had a very basic idea of the story line but had never fully looked into it. And while I am far from an expert on this subject, I have done quite a lot of research and study over the last 2 weeks so that I can intelligently talk about this subject. I watched the first movie, looked up tons of information on the internet, read articles from Christian's perspective as well as articles written by members of Wicca.

Let me say right from the beginning that I do not support, promote or agree with Harry Potter at all. I firmly believe that as Christians, these are books and movies that should be kept out of our homes and away from our children. Now for all the fans of Harry Potter that may be reading this, I ask that you please bare with me and read what i'm going to say with an open heart and mind before just tuning me out altogether!

I believe that the dangers in this book and in the character of Harry Potter are actually very simple. Harry is a witch, he goes to a school that teaches him how to perform witchcraft and the entire story is about witches. The bible is very clear about the fact that Christians are to have NOTHING to do with witchcraft. Period. It doesn't matter how cute the witch in question is. It doesn't matter if it's portrayed as "fantasy". It doesn't matter if you are unpopular for doing so. It doesn't matter!

As I said, the bible is clear that we are to stay away from all forms of witchcraft and honestly, most Christians wouldn't really argue that point. We know the bible is clear about that. But for some reason when it comes to Harry Potter so many Christians excuse it because these books are labeled "fantasy" and therefore it's ok to allow their children to read the books and watch the movies. But the problem with the whole "It's just fantasy" argument is, it's not just fantasy. Witchcraft is very, very real. Demons and sorcery are all very real, there is absolutely nothing fake about it.

These books have taken witchcraft and demonic forces and made these things completely normal and very glamorized for children for the first time in history. Witchcraft is now being given to kids in a children's format, and now kids are seeing witchcraft performed by other kids and everyone around them is saying it's more than ok, it's actually a wonderful thing. This satanic religion is being promoted on a children's level and is teaching them how to perform real witchcraft, all with their parents approval because it's "fantasy". Does anyone else see the problem with this?

In my study for this post, I discovered that you can actually get online and attend real schools of witchcraft and get certified as a practicing witch or wizard. So kids see Harry Potter having a difficult home life with a family that just doesn't like him, but he escapes it all by going to this school and learning how to be a wizard. Maybe if they become a wizard too that will help solve some of their problems with their family! Again, does anyone else see the problem with this? The powers that Harry taps into in the books and movies are the powers that kids want to be able to tap into themselves. But these powers are not just pretend, they are very real and very demonic powers.

There are so many examples of real witchcraft being brought into the story of Harry Potter. For example, the lightening bolt on his forehead is actually the satanic "S" which according to satanists "symbolizes Satan as our True Creator God".
In the game Quidditeh, Harry is made the "Seeker". In witchcraft, a seeker is known as anyone who is interested in learning witchcraft. But now because of the movie, a seeker in witchcraft is something wonderful and a high honor.
Owls are very good friends to the children and are one of the animals they are asked to bring with them to school. In Wicca, owls are very symbolic. This is a quote from a Wiccan website. "Owls, with their vaunted wisdom, have long been seen as a Wicca symbol, since Witches also seek to understand the Mysteries. Owls share the gift of vision with Witches who honour them. Witches also can see what is imperceptible to others."
The Jack-O-Lanters floating over the kids on Halloween in the movie is also very symbolic. Jack-O-Lanters were originally believed to hold demon spirits in them. People would place them on their porches and if it was hideous enough it would keep all the other demons from entering their house. And in this movie, they were freely floating over the children...

I actually found a witches website that goes through and lists several spells that are cast in these movies that are real spells. I was going to post the link to it but to be honest, i'm not comfortable posting a link to a witches website on my blog. But the fact is, if you really look into it you can not buy the lie that these books are just "fantasy" anymore. Yes, Harry Potter himself is not a real person, I will give you that one. But everything surrounding him is very real and by allowing your children to participate in these movies, you are allowing them to open themselves up to the demonic forces behind it.

I really wish this was a grey area. I wish this was something that could be ok. I know so many people that love this story and I wish I could just smile and say it's wonderful that your children are reading such a big book. But I can't. The fact is, it's demonic. It is something the bible says very clearly to stay away from. In Galatians 5 it says that anyone living a life of witchcraft or sorcery will not inherit the Kingdom of God. This isn't something to play with. This isn't something you should allow your children to play with. It's not a game. It's very real! It was created by the thief who comes only to steal and kill and destroy, and who wants very much to destroy your life and the lives of your children.

Never forget that this life is a constant battle. Satan will use anything he can to get a hold of your children and rip them to shreds, even an eleven year old, spectacle wearing boy named Harry Potter.

"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." ~ Ephesians 6:10-18

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my facebook page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

Fun Friday: Words, Words, Words

The topic for this Friday's post is on words. One of my facebook followers posted this on my wall... "I would love to hear your thoughts on "Words" in a marriage. Like how they can build or destroy your marriage relationship. How a person's past experiences or how they were raised can affect the words they speak and how to change the way we speak to each other."

Words. Everything in our life is surrounded by words. But how much thought do you put into the words you speak? We talk about everything in life but often times I think we speak without thinking first. Not only can doing so hurt people but I believe that words are power holders and every word you speak you releases power.

Think about this for a minuet, at the very beginning of the bible God goes through and explains how the universe and everything in it was created. Have you ever noticed that it was all done through the words God spoke? That's it, just words. His words created everything. Then if you look over in Mark 11 you'll see Jesus curse a fig tree and it withers up from the roots and dies. Again, He used only his words but this time instead of His words bringing life they brought death.

Now how does this relate to marriage? The bible says in Proverbs 18:21 that "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" and I believe that is in any area of your life. But lets talk specifically about the words you speak in your marriage. I believe that the person you are most careless in your words with is your spouse. They hear it all! If you're anything like me, you just spew the good the bad and the ugly over them all the time. Colby is the person I talk about everything to, both good and bad. He's also the person I can get the angriest with, and when i'm angry I speak angry words.

Have you ever said words like "You're a horrible husband/wife!" "I hate being married!" "I want a divorce" or any other number of statements like this? Did you realize that with every word you spoke, you released death into your marriage? I've said before that one of my favorite sayings is "Inside every man there is a king and a fool. Which one are you talking to?" I believe that whichever one you talk to, that's the one you will see. The reason for that is, with your words you are speaking life into either the king or the fool in him. It's so important to only speak life into the king inside your husband! The king is the one you want to rise up in him, not the fool!

I believe simply speaking the word "divorce" in your marriage causes so much damage! The very definition of this word is "To cut off; separate or disunite" and every single time you speak it you are releasing that into your marriage. Remember, death and life are in the power of your tongue. Are yours speaking death over your marriage or life? Instead of saying things like "I want a divorce" say things like "No matter what, I refuse to get a divorce!" You can take control of a situation simply with your words! God created the entire universe simply with His words and He has given you that same power. Take that power and use it with complete authority!

Now I know that things in your past and your background can effect who you are and how you view things but Romans 12:2 says "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God". It doesn't matter what is in your past, as a Christian, you are to be completely transformed in your mind, spirit and body. I'm not saying it's easy! My parents divorced when I was 15 and i'll be honest, sometimes it seems impossible for my husband and I to make our marriage last. After all, everyone around us is getting divorced so why are we any different right? Wrong! When thoughts like that creep into your heart and mind remember that 2 Corinthians 10:5 says "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ".

I believe that you absolutely can change how you speak to and about your spouse and marriage. It isn't something that happens over night by any means, but it can be done. It is something that takes a constant and conscious effort though. You don't just wake up speaking different i'm sorry to say! You have to make the choice each day, and sometimes each hour, to speak life instead of death. I think a great way to change how you speak is to make certain words off limits. Obviously the first word is divorce. You should never make a habit of allowing that to be a part of your vocabulary. But other than that word, get very picky about what you cut out. It's ok to get serious and really cut out negative words in your marriage. Remember, your words release power. Negative words release negative power into and over your marriage.

Find good words to replace the negative words. Begin to find ways to speak life into your marriage and over your spouse. I remember when things were the worst between Colby and I , I had so many people around me speaking bad about my husband and my marriage. As a defensive measure I would counter everything they said. I would say things like "He is going to be a great husband and father" "We are going to make it through this" "We aren't going to get a divorce" and many other things like this. I said them over and over and over and you know what? They came to pass! I was constantly (and honestly without even realizing) speaking life into my marriage and my husband. So find every area you can to replace "death words" with "life words" and I truly believe that you will be shocked with how things can change!

Psalm 19:14 "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer."

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my facebook page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.


This post is linked up with Homemaker By Choice and Time-Warp Wife.

Fun Friday: Gossip

For this weeks Fun Friday, I get to talk about gossip. I think this is something that almost every single person has dealt with. I would be willing to bet that everyone at some point in their life has been a victim of gossip as well as spread it themselves. Most people think of gossip as telling something about another person that's not true. It's like, as long as you know what you're talking about is true, it's not gossip and it's ok to share it right? Not exactly.

The definition of the word gossip is, "Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature. Trivial, chatty talk or writing. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts."

I will admit that gossip is something I struggle with. For some reason it can almost feel good to know that you have the latest and juiciest gossip about whatever situation is going on around you. When gossip begins, whatever is being shared can very quickly change. It may start out true but it doesn't take long at all to get twisted, added to and embellished. After all, each person sharing the gossip wants to be able to tell the newest and juiciest part of the story. But what about the other end of it? What about when you are the one being gossiped about? That can be one of the worst feelings and it tears people down so quickly.

Let's look at what the bible says about this subject. Ephesians 4:29-32 in the amplified version says,
29Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God's favor) to those who hear it.
30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God [do not offend or vex or sadden Him], by Whom you were sealed (marked, branded as God's own, secured) for the day of redemption (of final deliverance through Christ from evil and the consequences of sin).
31Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).
32And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.

The bible says to let no foul language or evil words come out of your mouth, but it goes on to say also let no worthless talk come out of your mouth! This kind of talk grieves God's heart.

Have you ever just said worthless things about someone? Say you see someone in clothes that you thought were ugly, and you shared those thoughts with a friend. Or a parent walks by with their kids and you comment on how horrible those kids are after they've walked by. Or you see another couple and comment on how bad their marriage seems to be and how it wouldn't surprise you at all if they end up divorced. Everyone of these falls under "worthless talk" and it grieves the very heart of God.

I think church's are often breading grounds for gossip. See, we can talk about and tell people pretty much anything as long as it's followed by a promise to pray for whomever you're talking about. But the bible is very blunt about this type of person. James 1:26 says,
26If anyone thinks himself to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person's religious service is worthless (futile, barren).

As Christians, we have a huge responsibility to hold, or bridle as the bible says, our tongues. By not doing that you make all your other service, and everything else you do for Christ completely worthless. The words we speak to and about others can completely destroy our testimony and credibility. Also, when you speak like this you are completely fooling yourself about your christian walk. You can not follow Christ and lead people to Him if you are a gossip and have no control over your own tongue.

Take some time and examine your heart. Ask God to show you if you've been guilty of gossip and worthless talk, and if so, work on becoming useful, kind and tenderhearted with your words towards those around you. And in the future, try to not even put yourself in a position to hear or share gossip. Anytime you feel the desire to gossip or spread any kind of worthless talk, just ask God to hold your tongue.

Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.

Fun Friday!

This is my first Fun Friday post and i'm super excited! About a week ago I asked my readers if there was anything specific they would like to read about on here. The purpose of this blog is to have a place you can come and find something real and relevant to your life, so what better way to do that than ask for your thoughts?!

The first comment I received was from an anonymous reader who said "Sex is always a great topic. I love Christian blogs that are open and straight forward about sex, instead of treating it like some taboo subject Christians shouldn't even think about." Wouldn't you know this would be the first thing I get to talk about! :o)

First of all I need to say that everything I say on this subject will only be directed to those already married. Sex outside of marriage is wrong and I want no part in encouraging or teaching anyone who is not married to have a good sex life. Having said that, I may blush while writing this and you may blush while reading this but let's dive right in...

In most Christian circles sex is viewed as an "off limits" subject. It is done in private so it should not be talked about in public right? Wrong! Like almost every other part of marriage, sex is not something that you are great at the day you get married and you can very quickly develop problems. If you need to learn how to communicate effectively, wouldn't it make sense that you would also need to learn how to have a great and effective sex life?

When you get married, you walk in with all kinds of expectations, and regardless of your background you have some kind of expectation of what your sex life will be like. Most men assume that they will be having sex several times a week and most women assume it will happen every once in a while and you'll spend much more time just cuddling. Then when expectations are not met there are problems and hurt feelings, as there are in any area of marriage when expectations are not met. So lets break this down and talk about his needs and her needs.

First off, guys need sex. Period. God created them this way and no woman should ever make her husband feel bad or perverted for wanting it. I think in most marriages, women say no to their husbands far more often than yes. Your marriage may not start out that way but after a few years "no" becomes you most used word. You can do so much harm to your husband and your marriage when you constantly turn him down and push him away. Instead of saying "Not tonight" learn to say "Why not tonight?". Men think about sex often, they just do, it's their comfort food. Girls, how often do you think about chocolate or potato chips? The more stressed your day is, the more you think about that comfort food right? Well guys think about their comfort food, it's just different from yours. Thinking about sex with you is no more wrong, weird or gross than you thinking about chocolate!

Guys also need you to be an active participant, just being there is not enough. No man wants to feel like his wife is with him out of obligation. Girls, when you want to talk to your husband but it feels like pulling teeth to get him to communicate, it takes so much joy out of it and it's not worth it right? That's how it is for guys. If you make sex something he has to jump through hoops to get, it takes so much out of it. Sex should not be something you dangle in front of him to get him to do what you want, and unless he performs tasks A, B and C he won't get it. That is manipulation which is a form of witchcraft and it has no place in your marriage!

Now guys, look at some things that girls need when it comes to sex. While it it true that most women do not have the sex drive most men have, they do still have needs when it comes to that. For your wife, sex is about much more than intercourse, it is about intimacy. Without intimacy it can be very difficult for a woman to have and enjoy a healthy sex life. Now, look at the definition of the word intimacy, "a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person". Did you see the word "sex" anywhere in that definition? Nope, neither did I. Fact is, intimacy does not mean sex. Sounds complicated doesn't it? Well remember, you are still dealing with a woman. :o) Let me try to explain it the best I can...

Intimacy for a woman is very plainly, a closeness. Your wife wants to feel close to you, closer in fact than any other person in the world. She wants to know everything about you and have you know everything about her. She wants you to be able to sense what she is feeling and desiring at all times. Now while it is not realistic for you to know those things at all times, with true study of her you can get to be pretty good at it. And i'll be very honest with you, without that true intimacy outside of the bedroom it can be very difficult for a woman to be intimate with you in the bedroom.

Guys, you have to get involved in her life. You can not just show up at the end of your work day, plop yourself down on the couch and watch tv, hardly talk to her or your kids, be of no help to her in the house and expect her to go skipping into bed once you're ready. If you want a wife that is interested and active in bed, you have to be interested and active out of bed!

Also don't forget that sex is about meeting both of your physical needs. If it is always all about you, your wife will begin to lose interest in it and can even dread sex. When she dreads it, you will begin to hear "no" much more often. You have to learn what pleases your wife, explore a little (nothing that makes either of you uncomfortable). If you can figure out what it takes to please your wife I promise you, she will become a much more willing participant!

Ok I have to stop for now, but I have plenty more to say on this subject (including discussing the big O) so i'm going to continue this next week. Please feel free to leave comments about this post as well as any thoughts or questions you have for future Fun Friday post.

This post is linked up with Time Warp Wife. Far Above Rubies and Women Living Well.