Monday, September 20, 2010

Bad Mommy Moment

Anyone else ever had one of those? 10? Maybe you've lost count?! I've been a mother for 5 years and let me tell you, i've had more bad mommy moments than I can even count! There have been small moments and there have been rather large moments. Some long term, some short term. For example, i've never read a bedtime story to my kids every night. I've done it here and there but not every night. Bad mommy moment! I hate cooking with my daughter, i'm a bit of a mico-manager and have such a hard time when things aren't done exactly right. Another bad mommy moment. I have in fact allowed the kids to go to bed without brushing their teeth before. I know, the horror!!! Hard to believe huh?! I have used my tv to babysit more times than I should have. I have also yelled at my kids, it's horrible and should never be done. But yet, i've done it on more than one occasion. Major bad mommy moment! I don't know if any other mom's have had such bad mommy moments, I tell myself of course you all have. I just can't handle the fact that i'm the worst mother out there!!! :o)

But what about those lifetime bad mommy choices? Anyone ever made one of those? This year we put Konner in school, it was such a hard choice for us to make and we went back and forth on it for such a long time. We had always planned on homeschooling our children, after all, both my husband and I were home schooled so what other choice was there really?! But after a LOT of talking, thinking and praying about it we decided to put him in a public school.

Today he started his fifth week in school and over the weekend I started wondering if we made the right choice. He still has days were he says he doesn't like school and just begs us to not make him go. Nothing will pull at your heart strings more than that let me tell you!!! Plus the plan was always to home school right?! Why did I change that?! Am I damaging him for life with this decision? Was this the best choice for him? Would it have been better to keep him home? So many questions!

But last night I re-read a post on one of my favorite blogs. This post was about all the ways that we are homeschooling our children regardless of where they go to school. I couldn't even summarize her post so you just have to read it for yourself HERE. It's amazing, trust me!! :o)

So after reading that last night I was reminded of why we chose this route for our family in the first place. I remembered all the great opportunities Konner will have here. I think i'll always have the a reason to second guess myself no matter what the situation is. That's something i'm just going to have to figure out myself but the schooling issue has been settled for me once again. I believe this was the best decision for Konner and for the girls as they get older and i'm so thankful that for that blog post. It was the perfect read at the perfect time!

Now if I could just figure out how to fix all those other bad mommy moments!!! :o)

1 comment:

Jon, Brianne & Kaylee Hanson said...

I will always firmly believe y'all made the 100% best decision. He will come around, and have so many wonderful stories to tell!! You did the right thing. Konner is an amazingly bright young boy who is going to shine among all those kids. Just wait until his teachers start to tell you how great he is doing!! Those days will come, and I believe he is going to start loving school soon :)