Wednesday, March 30, 2011


I have been going through a very hard time lately. It feels like my mind and emotions have just been under a huge attack. It seems like no matter what I do or how much I pray, I can’t get past it. My husband even talked to me about it and said he’s been feeling the same way and seeing the same thing. In fact, it was him talking to me about it that showed me what’s really been going on. See at first it just felt like a pity party. How many of you girls have ever felt the need to just sit down and have a good old fashioned pity party? You know the one, it makes you want to sit in the corner and sing “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll go eat worms!”.

But after feeling this way for very long, I started to feel like it was getting out of my control and my emotions were beginning to get control of me. Ever felt that way?

But control just began to add to the problem. See I felt that if I could just get control of it, instead of allowing my emotions to have control, I could get rid if the attack. If I could just understand what was happening I could control it. Have you ever felt that way? Like you could do it yourself, control it yourself? I’ve found out that as soon as I start feeling that way, the problem only gets worse. And it did.

Thankfully I serve a mighty God who sees me exactly where I am and meets me right there and knows exactly what I need to get through.

Yesterday morning I read 4 little verses that changed things for me. For some reason I decided to read Jeremiah 29:11, it’s a very familiar verse and one I’ve prayed over my children on several occasions. But this time I read it with myself in mind and I also read the verses after it which are not often quoted with it but are very powerful.

11. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12. Then shall you call upon me, and you shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
13. And you shall seek me, and find me, when you search for me with all you heart.
14. And I will be found of you, saith the Lord…

I love how this is said in the King James version. The thoughts God thinks towards me are of peace. Peace was exactly what I needed. Peace over my mind. Peace to my need to control. Peace over my pity party. Peace. Perfect peace.

I love how the Amplified version says verses 12 and 13.

12. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to me, and I will hear and heed to you.
13. Then you will seek Me, inquire for and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.

How comforting is that? Here I am, feeling like I’m doing all this by myself , like I have to figure this all out by myself, and God used these familiar verses to show me that I’m not. All I have to do is simply call on Him. All I have to do is pray with all my heart, with everything I have. He’s right here, just waiting for me to call out to Him.

See, by me trying to take control of the situation I was effectively making the problem worse. I wasn’t only fighting myself in this situation, I was fighting the One who needed to be in control and just making a mess of the whole thing.

Once I was able to turn the problem over to Him, and once I began to “seek Him, inquire for and require Him [as a vital necessity] “ the peace that He wanted for me the whole time began to take over.

Now that’s not saying that the desire for control will never creep up on me again, but I do know what to do with it when it does. I can’t face attacks on my own. I can’t solve the problems I face on my own. I can’t survive my day to day struggles on my own. So each time I face a problem, attack or struggle, I’m going to seek, inquire for and require Christ as a vital necessity. And I know that as soon as I do that I’ll be ok.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Book Review: Lioness Arising

I found the book "Lioness Arising" to be a good book. I believe the point of the book was to stir up and challenge women to rise up and change the wold around them. The book began as a very moving book. It did stir me up and give me a desire to go out and do more for Christ.

However, I have to admit that before I was half way through the book I began to lose interest in it. It seemed to be all motivational with out much instruction. There are several lion and lioness stories through out the book which does add quite a lot to it and helped get the point of the book across. I did in fact learn things about lions that I never knew before.

But at the end of it all, I walked away from the book motivated but very unsure of what to do with that motivation, I would have preferred more instruction on how to accomplish the goal of becoming a "lioness". It was a good read however and I will most likely pass my copy along to others.

"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I'm a girl. That's a pretty obvious statement. I have always been all girl. When I was young, I loved nothing more than to put on frilly dresses and see how high they could twirl. I loved playing with my dolls and playing house. I only had 1 sister, so for the most part as a young girl I didn't know much of anything about boys.

As I got a little older I started learning things about boys. I learned that they were gross! Boys would play with bugs. Boys would go to the bathroom outside! Boys...they were just plain nasty. I much preferred playing with my dolls!

Then I got even older, and learned a few more things about boys. They suddenly started getting a little less gross. In fact, some of them were even kinda cute! There were a few of them that I wished thought I was cute. But, most of them didn't.

A few years went by and I met a boy who did think I was cute. He seemed to like me a lot and I kinda liked him a lot too. He was funny. He was smart. He seemed to "get" me, and I was convinced very early on that he was the boy for me! I decided that I had to marry this boy, and I did.

Then we had a baby. And guess what? It was a boy! Over my nineteen years leading up to being the mother of a son, I thought I had gotten a pretty good understanding of boys. It took me about 9 months to figure out that I was very very wrong. I knew nothing about boys!

I discovered that boys are born with an innate desire to destroy anything their little hands touch. I learned that every flat surface was made to be a drum. I found out that very early on, toots and burps are absolutely hysterical to boys. But I think the thing that shocked me the most was what took me the longest to learn. I learned that from a very young age boys are naturally curious about and drawn to girls.

I will never forget when Konner was about three years old, we were watching American idol and a girl came into the room in a bikini. I was annoyed with the fact that she was wearing that because my husband was sitting there but I didn't even think about my son seeing it. Well, I didn't think about it until I saw how quickly it grabbed his attention. He hadn't even been looking at the tv, but as soon as that girl walked onto the screen his tiny little eyes were glued! And right there, without my even knowing it had happened, my son had been exposed to his first scantily dressed girl.

Of course we very quickly turned the tv off and i'm sure that now, 3 years later, he doesn't even remember that. But I remember it very well. It's something that I have never forgotten and probably never will.

Since then I have figured out some thing heartbreaking. I figured out that it is society's goal to destroy the innocence and purity of my children as early as possible. I think boys are more susceptible to this than girls because of how they were created. Lets face it, boys were created to be drawn to girls. Look at the very first interaction between a man and a woman in Genesis 2...

21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

23-25 The Man said,
"Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man."
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

It took Adam no time at all to become interested in Eve! Men were created to desire women. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, society has preyed on that natural God given desire and perverted it and done their best to destroy the beautiful thing that God created.

I believe that sexuality is something that children should not be faced with. It was created for married adults. Children were not designed to handle it. But it today's society, children are not only faced with sexuality, they are engulfed in sexuality. Elementary students are dealing with sex. Take THIS story for example. Back in January an elementary school suspended a 2nd grade teacher after two separate incidents were allowed in the classroom. In one of the cases apparently several students took all of their clothes off and were naked in the classroom. The second situation involved a boy and girl engaging in oral sex in front of the other students.

Two things scream out at me about this story. First of all, these are second graders we're talking about. 7 and 8 year old kids! How did these kids even know about oral sex? Call me crazy, but I don't think children that young should know about any form of sex much less be performing these acts!

The second thing that jumped out at me was, the teacher was present for these incidents. This person was in the room. This person watched the whole thing happen. This person did nothing to stop it. And this person was only suspended because of it.

This is what is happening in our society. This is the kind of junk that our kids are being faced with. And this is the kind of stuff that is destroying our society.

So often parents are looked at as over protective if they try to keep sexual junk away from their children. After all, in todays world it's everywhere. You would have to keep your children in a bubble locked in their room if you are hoping to never expose them to it right?

I'll be honest with you...i'm an over protective mom! I will not sit by and watch as my son's mind is bombarded with junk that he was never created to handle. I will not allow his future wife to have to deal with years of sexual damage from the media and the world around him that he should never have faced.

Now I am not living in a state of denial here. I do not think that he will never see another scantily clad woman. I do not think that he will enter adulthood without having seen things that he should not see. I know that it would be almost impossible for him to live out all of his days completely pure. But I will not sit by and watch it happen. I will not excuse it as "boys will be boys" and that's just how they are.

I plan on watching my kids like a hawk and teaching them what the bible says about sexuality. I will not sit back and allow them to figure it out for themselves, or worse, allow their friends to teach them. It is going to take a lot of work. I know I will be mocked by both friends and family for being over protective, to be honest, I already have been. But I believe that it's worth it.

I'm so thankful to have a husband who is even more determined than I am to raise our son to be pure and respectful of the women around him. He is determined to raise modest and pure girls, who don't fall for the schemes of the boys around them. And i'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who has given us the tools to raise our kids according to His will. I'm so thankful that we're not in this alone, He will be right there with us the whole time. He wants all these things for our kids even more than we do and i'm so thankful that He is right here with all of us helping us make it happen.

This post is linked up with Raising Homemakers, Time-Warp Wife and Women Living Well.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Pride...Good or bad?

I have a really bad habit that I have to confess. I can NOT take a complement. Ever. It does not matter what it's about, I will find a way to knock it down. If you tell me I look nice, i'll point out what's wrong with how I look. If you tell me my kids are good, i'll talk about what they did wrong the day before. If you say anything about me being a good friend, wife or mom, i'll point out all the times i've failed in these areas. If you tell me the meal I made tastes good, i'll point out what's wrong with it. This one drives my husband crazy! It doesn't matter what meal it is, I will find something wrong with it every time, no matter what.

See the Bible talks about humility and how we as christians need to live humble lives. But I think i've always taken this way to far! I've always had the idea that if I accepted complements, I was taking pride in myself and that was not living in humility. I felt like if I admitted that food I cooked was good, it was prideful. Sounds silly doesn't it? But let me ask many of us live like this?

Women do so many things for their families on a regular basis, and don't get me wrong, I believe in that. But what is wrong with taking pride in who you are and what you do? If you are an amazing housekeeper, take pride in that! If you love your husband with everything you have, take pride in that! If your cooking rivals Paula Dean, take pride in that! There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are.

I saw this saying several days ago and it's really made me think about this a lot. "Humility isn't thinking less of's thinking of yourself less."

Isn't that what it really comes down to?

I don't believe we were ever meant to live with our heads down, scared to death of being prideful. I think I personally need to lift my head up high and take pride in who I am and what I can do. I am a good cook. I love my husband very much and am a very good wife to him. I'm also a good mom to each of my kids. (I have to admit that as I write each of these it's very hard to not add in little "buts" after each one.) :o) But, i'm not gonna do it! I am proud of who I am and what all i've come though. Not only that, but I can't wait to see where all I go and what else i'll do with my life. I'm only 25...i've still got a lot of living to do and i'm determined to live it with my head high.

This post is liked up with Time Warp Wife and Raising Homemakers.