Wednesday, June 15, 2011

What Men Want

Have you ever wished you could get inside your spouses head and figure out exactly what it is they want from you? I have wished for that very thing many times. So for anyone else who may be wondering what your spouse may be wanting from you, I thought i'd share a list I got some time ago. Let's talk about what men want first. You ready girls?

1. A man wants to be respected.
Girls, we need to understand how important respect is to men! The definition of respect is "Esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability". There are many things about my husband that I respect and I let him know that regularly. I love telling him what a wonderful father he is, how great he is at taking care of me or how great of a photographer he is. Now one problem you may have is if your husband doesn't have much to respect. If that is the case, look for any little thing you can find to admire and respect. One of the best things i've ever heard is "Inside every man is a king and a fool. Which one are you talking to?" If you treat your husband like a fool, expect to see a fool when you look at him. If you treat your husband like a king, expect to see a king when you look at him. How you treat your husband is so important! Learn to talk to and treat your husband with respect. After all, if a man's wife won't respect him, who else will?

2. A man wants a cheerleader.
I am Colby's number one fan. Period. There's just no one in this world who thinks more of him than me. There's no one who supports him more than I do. I love to cheer him on and encourage him. There's times he's been down and discouraged and I can begin to encourage him and cheer him on, when I do that I can see him start to lift his head a little higher. It's like a boost of energy for your husband. Make a habit of cheering your husband on in everything he does.

3. A man wants the "big event".
Face it girls, men want sex. There is nothing wrong with that, it's how they were created. As much as you want and need conversation, your husband wants and needs sex. Sexual intimacy is a mans comfort food. As much as you crave chips or chocolate, your husband craves sex. And again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Please do not make your husband feel bad or wrong for wanting to be intimate with you! There is nothing perverted or gross about a man wanting to sleep with his wife. Girls, you can do so much damage to your relationship with your husband by rejecting him on a regular basis. Make sex a regular part of your marriage.

4. A man wants to hang out with the guys.
Sometimes your husband just needs to be able to go hang out with his friends without a guilt trip. I know it can be hard for us girls, especially if you stay home with kids all day, to not cling to your husband as soon as he walks in the door. Now i'm not talking about all the time, if he is wanting to be gone every night of the week, that's not ok. But if your hubby is just wanting a night out each week or every other week, do not make him feel bad for that. You know you'd jump at a night out the second it was offered to you!

5. A man wants you to fix up for him.
This can be a very hard one for us girls. We'll fix up to go to dinner, or to go to church, or to go visit with a friend. But at home? It's time for jammies and face masks! That's how it is most of the time isn't it? While I do believe it is completely ok to wear your jammies and that face mask, it's a great idea to not look like that every day when your husband walks in the door. I personally love pony-tails and sweatpants and thankfully, Colby doesn't expect for me to be fixed up every day when he gets home. But it is nice to have at least a little make-up on and something other than sweatpants when he comes home.

6. A man wants his home to be his castle.
It doesn't not matter how nice or how run down your home is, your husband takes pride in it. When Colby gets off work, he is so looking forward to coming home and relaxing. He loves to walk in the door and sit down with the kids and just take some time to unwind. However, when our home is a mess and there's stuff everywhere, when the kids are screaming and wild, when i'm snappy because i've had a hard can be almost more stressful to come home than it was to be at work. That's pretty sad huh? Now things happen and it's not always possible to have things calm and orderly when your husband walks in the door, but work to make a calm environment the normal environment.

7. A man wants his wife to believe his dream.
My husband has a pretty big dream, it's one that will probably taken several years to fulfill. Over the last year or two that he's had this dream he has grown discouraged many times. There have been a few times he was wanted to give up and try something else. Every one of those times I reminded him of his dream and I reminded him how much I believed in his ability to fulfill his dream. You know what? He hasn't given up on it yet! It's hard, and it's discouraging for us both sometimes but it is his dream. That is something I will not give up on until it happens. Knowing that I believe in him and support him is one of the things that keeps him going, it's one of the things that keeps him from just giving up. Whatever your husbands dream is, make sure he knows you support him. Make sure he knows that you will do everything you can to help that dream come true. Understand that he's not just here to make your dreams come true, you are also here to help make his dreams come true. Never forget that!

Up next, what women want...

This post is linked up with Time Warp Wife and Women Living Well.


Green Goose said...

I just thoroughly enjoyed this post! Plain, solid, happy advice. Sounds like you really enjoy being a wife, thanky ou for sharing!! (visiting from WLW)


the domestic fringe said...

Great post!