Saturday, March 28, 2009

It snowed!!!

Yesterday we got more snow than we've had all winter!! It looks so beautiful outside today with the sun shinning off the snow. Konner finally got to wear his snow boots that he got forever ago so he was thrilled! Lexi however wasn't quite sure about the whole thing, she's my little miss priss so she wanted to watch it from inside only!! They stayed the night at my moms last night and the first thing they did when they got there was get a big bowl of snow and sit down to a snack of snow on ritz crackers!! We used to eat tons of those when it would finally snow enough to get a bowl of clean snow and it was so much fun watching my kids enjoy the same goofy snacks that I did as a kid.

They are growing up so fast and sometimes it's hard to believe it really. Konner came up to me a few days ago and said his first bible verse! He watches a Hillsongs Kids dvd all the time and in between the songs they come on and say a verse and he picked it up from there. It's so cute though because he even says it with an Australian accent!! Then just after he said it Lexi even came up and said it, it was a little more slurred than Konner's was but she knew most of it! The verse was Ephesians 3:18 "And may you have the power as all God's people should to understand how wide, how long, how high and how deep His love is." It's so great hearing them say it and knowing that even if they don't quite understand what it means those seeds have been planted in their little hearts!

Every day i'm learning more and more about God's love just from watching my kids. They are so forgiving and understanding and it just blows my mind sometimes. When someone does something to make me mad I sometimes have a hard time getting over it even after they've asked for forgiveness. But the kids are so quick to forgive, oftentimes even before forgiveness has even been asked for! That's something that I want so much for them to keep hold of! I really have to watch myself with them though because it's so easy to get into myself and forget that I have 3 little pairs of eyes watching every thing I do and say. Our pastor's wife says "Everything you see in your kids you either put there or allowed it to be there" and that's so true!! I have a tendency to get angry easily and that's my daily battle, but I never really saw it in me before I saw it coming out of Konner. I remember wondering where his anger came from, I mean he's just a little boy why does he get so mad so easily? Then like a slap in the face I remember it hitting me exactly where it came from. He was watching me and since it was ok for me to act that way he thought it was ok for him to act that way.

Now of course he's slowly learning that it's not ok for him to act that way but i'm having to be very careful about getting my anger under control and not just telling him what do do but actually letting him see me doing the same thing. Pastor Connie also said that teenagers are simply kids who stop doing what you say and start doing what you do. So right now if he doesn't get his anger under control I can simply tell him to not act like that and expect him to mind me but once he's a teen that won't work anymore. I have to get it under control in myself before I can ever expect him to.

This parenting stuff is a lot of work!! :o) haha! I'm finding out that old song is so true "Oh be careful little eyes what you see" only now it's not just God who sees what I do, it's my kids. I'm responsible for how my 3 beautiful children turn out and that's so scary and challenging and yet so wonderful all at the same time. With God's help Colby and I can raise world changers and that's an awesome thing!! I love going to a church that teaches us and our kids how live day to day so that one day they can be those world changers! So often I feel like my job is worthless, I mean all I do is clean my house, refill juice cups, wipe noses, find toys and 100 other seemingly mundane things. But in reality what I do is so much more than that! I'm teaching my children how to live life day to day and keep God in the center. When they're sick i'm teaching them that Jesus is the healer by praying for them. When they're sad i'm teaching them that Jesus is our joy by turning on their praise dvd's and dancing with them. When they need comfort i'm teaching them that Jesus is their comfort by holding them and loving them. When they're afraid i'm teaching them that God is always with them and there's nothing to fear by reminding them how HUGE God is and how much He loves them.

Day in and day out it's mine and Colby job to make sure that when those kids are grown they are not only equipped to live life and face this world but to do that while relying on God to be their strength and guide them day by day. That's why it's so important for us to make sure that WE are living life relying on God day by day because if they don't see us doing it how can we ever expect them to do it?

I'm not exactly sure how I went from talking about the snow to all this but I guess that's just how my mind works sometimes! :o)

Sunday, March 22, 2009

This week at couples...

Last night Colby and I went to our weekly couples group and it was awesome! Pastor David has been teaching on Proverbs but this week he took a break and gave some basic-and some not so basic-marriage training. I took notes like I always try to do but last night was so good and I ended up taking 5 pages of notes, so since it was so good and I wrote down so much I thought i'd blog about it for anyone else who might need to hear it as much as I did. Of course since this is the first time i've written out something like this I won't be able to say it as well as PD did but since I wrote down so much of what he said hopefully i'll be able to get the basic concept of what he taught across!

"The marriage relationship is a two way street"

There is so much teaching out there about marriage and so many views and perspectives both christian and non-christian but the most important thing to remember when listening to or reading anything about marriage is all teaching must come from and be biased on God's perspective of marriage. After all He is the one who created marriage so why would any other perspective even be considered? We hear all the time that "the 2 shall become one" and that's very true and something that has to be remembered, but the flip side of that is you are still two people with two desires, two needs and two dreams. You have to recognize that you are two individuals before you can act and move as one.

There are 9 different keys that we need to remember when thinking of and acting as two different people.

Communication: You are two people and both of you need communication.

This is so important-probably the most important-thing to remember and put into practice. Communication is absolutely vital in order to make you marriage work. Girls need communication, it really isn't done just to bug our husbands (although it can seem like that at times), it's something we actually need. But what a lot of guys don't understand is how much they need it too. Guys need communication because in that communication is the information needed to make it through another year. So often when women try to communicate we let our emotions get all revved up and we get super excited-whether in a good way or a negative-and once those emotions get all worked up it can be easy for men to shut down and tune out. It's so important for men to not do that! You have to learn to move past the emotions and listen to the information because once you do that you'll be able to get down to the root of the issue and really start to get somewhere. But women have to remember to give your husbands a break every now and then, you can't have a 2 hour conversation and expect your husband to stay interested the whole time with no breaks! If you want him to stay aware of the conversation throw a few bathroom breaks in every now and then. :o) Conversation goes both ways though, it should never be one sided-you both have to talk and you both have to listen! If you want your marriage zapped with power learn to listen to and understand each other!

Affection: You are two people and both of you need affection.

In marriage you are faced with so many challenges but the greatest challenge in your marriage is making your spouse feel loved. When you were dating you took the time to make them feel special, you studied them and learned what they liked and didn't like. You learned what their favorite food was, their favorite sport, their favorite flower and all those little things. But often times once a couple gets married they think that's it, they never need to learn anything else about their spouse but that's not the case. You have to study your spouse! There's a very good chance that your wife's favorite flower isn't a rose anymore but is now a daisy, or your husband used to like football but has now gotten into basketball. Take the time to learn those things and be interested in what your spouse is interested in. Find ways in your everyday life to make your spouse feel loved, valued and treasured. Figure out how they feel loved and make an effort to do those things for them whether it's giving them a hug after a long day or taking out the trash without giving them a hard time.

Intimacy: You are two people and you both need intimacy.

It's so important to remember that intimacy is not just about getting what you want and then moving on. Again, you have to study your spouse, find out how your spouse's body works. Doing that will greatly enhance your marriage. One thing that girls need to remember in dealing with this issue is that as much as we crave and need communication, guys crave and need sex. However that's also something that guys need to remember when thinking about communication. Ok enough about that uncomfortable subject and moving right along! :o)

Respect: You are two people and you both need respect.

The first thing to remember about respect is that your spouse doesn't have to earn your respect, you are to respect them simply because they are your spouse. If your having a hard time respecting them give the situation to God and let Him go to work. Respect is so important to men, they crave respect from their wives. If their wife doesn't respect them it's easy for them to feel like no one will respect them and that's a hard thing to deal with. In fact you can give your husband as much sex as he wants but if you don't respect him that won't even matter. Respect their work, whether in the home or outside the home. Men have to respect the work your wife does in the house, and women have to respect the work that men put in at their jobs.

Rest: You are two people and you both need rest.

Each of you need to make time for each other to rest. It's easy to think that your job is the harder of the two but that's not the issue, the fact is that whether you work in the home or outside the home you're working and you need to have time of rest. Also men, if your wife works outside the home understand that she needs help once she gets home. There is no reason that she should work a full time job and come home to cook dinner, clean up dinner, take care of the kids and clean the house all while you watch tv! Make sure you're not expecting more of your spouse than you are of yourself.

Recreation: You are two people and you both need recreation.

As kids you played and as teens you played, as adults remember to take time to play. Find something you like to do and have fun "playing". If you like fishing, make time to go fishing. If you like gardening, make time to garden. If you like golf, make time to golf. If you like scrap booking, make time to scrapbook. If you only ever work it's very easy to get burnt out, you have to take time to relax, unwind and just play.

Intellectual exercise: You are two people and you both need intellectual exercise.

When you graduate high school or college it's easy to think that you're done learning but the fact is you never need to stop learning. Once you're married you need to learn how to be married. Once you have kids you need to learn how to raise kids. During your carrier you'll need to learn new aspects of that carrier. Find books to read, people to listen to and things to study on a regular basis-just be sure you mentally exercise on a regular basis. Never stop learning, when you stop learning life is over.

Prayer: You are two people and you both need prayer.

Matthew 18:19-20 says "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." The most powerful thing you can do in your marriage is to pray together, the power of that prayer is phenomenal! Come together on a regular basis and physically pray together. If you have a pile of bills, come together and pray over them. If you're having trouble with your kids, come together and pray over them. If you have life decisions to make, come together and pray over them. You have to have a personal prayer life but it's also very important to have a prayer life together. Learn to believe together for you life, your dreams and your goals. You have to keep God the center of your marriage, make sure he is a full 1/3 partner and remember that that is what it will take to make your marriage work!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (The Message)

9-10 It's better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there's no one to help, tough!

11 Two in a bed warm each other.
Alone, you shiver all night.

12 By yourself you're unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Crazy busy!

That's why it's been so long since my last post...things have just been crazy busy!! We've started doing regular school work with Konner and Lexi is even joining in and doing her own school, i've created and started having a regular schedule that we stick to most days, and on top of that i'm keeping up with 3 kids now! That alone makes me busy! haha!

Logyn is 2 months old today and just doing awesome! She's so much easier than Lexi was as a baby, not quite as easy as Konner was-then again he was pretty much dead to the world for the first 6 months! She's started smiling a lot which is so much fun and Konner and Lex will sit and talk to her forever trying to get her to smile at them. They still adore her which is so great, I was really worried about how they would handle her, especially Lexi, but they both love her. I'm having just a hard time believing it's already been 2 months, it so feels more like 2 weeks, the time is just flying by!

Colby's job is still going good, they're starting senior season-senior's in high school not elderly senior ;o)-so he's busy with that. Senior's are his specialty so he usually stays pretty busy during this time. I'm so glad he has a job that he loves, it has made such a difference for him and for us! He's been doing the digital artist job for the last few months-I guess all that playing around on photoshop he used to do actually paid off. But they did just hire someone else for that so he can go back to just being a photographer there which is nice, now he won't have to stay as late as often.

Things at church are going great! We just finished studying Faith vs Fear these last few weeks and so much has changed for me! I didn't even realize how much i'm affecting things just by being afraid of so much! I always joke around with Colby that i'm scared of everything but honestly it's not a joke, i'm afraid of so much and this teaching has shown me how much that fear is affecting my life! Now i'm working really hard on being a person of faith and not of fear, it's taking a lot of effort because i'm having to retrain my speech and speak my faith and not my fear. I love our church because i'm always learning new things like this, stuff that I know in my head but i'm learning how to apply them in my life. It's so great that i've been a christian for so many years but i'm still able to learn new things so often and find new ways to grow in Christ.

I think that's the awesome thing about christianity, i'll never have it all figured out. To some people that might be overwhelming or discouraging but for me I actually find it comforting. I think it's comforting because I don't ever have to feel bad that I don't know enough or that i'm not learning fast enough. It's awesome knowing that God is so personal that He teaches me on my level and comes to where i'm at and works with me on my flaws without me having to try to keep up with where anyone else is at. I've spent so much time trying to get things just right and be who other's thought I should be whether it was in my christian walk or just as a woman and i'm coming to realize that it doesn't matter where people think I should be, what matters is that I work on getting where God wants me to be. Now granted i'm still trying to get there and i'm still trying to figure out exactly what i'm supposed to be doing but God is so patient with me and I love knowing that.

I'm not sure exactly how I got off on all that, once I get going my mind just goes in a 100 different directions! I guess that's ok, it can get kinda boring if all I ever talk about are the kids!! :o)