Saturday, February 12, 2011

Day 13

Today I am simply going to copy everything from the chapter 13 in The Love Dare. It's all way to goo to not share!

Day 13 (Feb 13) "Love fights fair" Mark 3:25
The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. But love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your husband is more important than whatever you're fighting about. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.

Day 13 challenge is...Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

Love Fights Fair

If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. – Mark 3:25

Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage. From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another, unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be.

Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off of theirs. The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits. Welcome to fallen humanity.

At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you’re really made of. Work demands, health issues, in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship. This sets the stage for disagreements to break out between the two of you. You argued and fought. You hurt. You experienced conflict. But you are not alone.

Every couple goes through it. It’s par for the course. But not every couple survives it.

So don’t think living out today’s dare will drive all conflict from your marriage. Instead, this is about dealing with conflict in such a way that you come out healthier on the other side.

Both of you. Together.

The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you’ll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That’s because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You’re the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off the cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes.

But love steps in and changes things. Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you’re fighting about. Love helps you install air bags and to set up guardrails in your relationship. It reminds you that conflict can actually be turned around for good. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.

But how? The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement. If you don’t have guidelines for how you’ll approach hot topics, you won’t stay in bounds when the action heats up.

Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: “we” boundaries and “me” boundaries.

“We” boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation. And each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include:
1.We will never mention divorce.
2.We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3.We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4.We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5.We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6.We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7.Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.

“Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here are some of the most effective examples:
1.I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).
2.I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)
3.I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).

Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.

Day 12

Day 12 (Feb 12) "Love lets others win" Phil. 2:4
Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your husband? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run--especially in eternity--then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be good for you and good for your marriage.

Day 12 challenge is...Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

Are you a stubborn person? I personally am a very stubborn person! I can form an opinion about something, or decide I want to do something that that's it. My heals are dug in and my mind is made up. End of story, this is what i want to do. Let me tell you, when your married, that does not go over well!

Quick example here...I love Christmas! It's my very favorite time of the year. Everything is bright and wonderful and happy. I love the music, the decorations, all the food, I just love everything about it. Colby however, does not love Christmas. He hates Christmas music and shopping and all the crowds of people everywhere. But he does enjoy his family gatherings and I enjoy mine.

Our first few years of marriage we ended up fighting hard about what we were going to do for Christmas. We both wanted to go to our families get-togethers and we both wanted different traditions to carry over with our kids. I can't even explain how hard we fought over this!

But it finally got to the point that we both decided to make a compromise. We figured out things we could live without and things we really wanted to have. Now we have come up with a plan for exactly how we're going to have Christmas and when we will get together with each of our families. We don't have to fight about it. We can both sit back and enjoy everything about the day.

Had we not taken a step back and been willing to give up "our way", we would still be fighting every single year about this.

Are there any areas in your day to day life that you fight and struggle with your spouse? If so, take the time to look at it from a different perspective and see where you can give up your way.

"No, you won’t always see eye-to-eye. You’re not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary. Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won’t have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from.

Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn’t matter in the long run – especially in eternity – then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love."

Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 11

Day 11 (Feb 11) "Love cherishes" Eph. 5:28
Don't let the culture around you determine the worth of your marriage. To compare it with something that can be discarded or replaced is to dishonor god's purpose for it. That would be like amputating a limb. Instead, it should be a picture of love between two imperfect people who choose to love each other regardless.

Day 11 challenge is...What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Since I married my husband I found out something. I discovered that there is no one in the world who loves me like him. I also found out that there is no one in this world that can hurt me like my husband. The same goes for him, there is no one who loves him like I do and there is also no one who can hurt him like I can. I know everything about him. I know what it takes to encourage him and I know what it takes to crush him.

Have you ever been in a fight with your spouse and instead of holding your tongue, you lash out with hateful words? Words meant to tear at the very core of who they are? I have to admit that I have done exactly that before. But you know what I found out when I did that? I found out that I not only hurt my husband, I also hurt myself.

See the reason for this is, we are one. Plain and simple. What hurts him, hurts me. What blesses him, blesses me.

"When you mistreat your mate, you are also mistreating yourself. Think about it, Your lives are now interwoven together. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you. So when you attack your mate, it is like attacking your own body. It's time to change your thinking. It's time for you to realize that your spouse is as much a part of you as your hand, your eye, or your heart."

"Whenever a husband looks into the eyes of his wife, he should remember that 'he who loves his wife loves himself'. And a wife should remember that when she loves him she is also giving love and honor to herself. When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life."

When you do the challenge for today, whatever need you choose to meet, remember these words and put them into practice. I also wanted to add my own little advice here. While you're doing the challenge, take some of the time to pray for your spouse. Ask Jesus to show you a new and deeper way to love your spouse. No matter how long you've been married your relationship can always grow and deepen.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 10

Day 10 (Feb 10) "Love is unconditional" Rom. 5:8
When you rebuild your marriage with agape love as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before. When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.

Day 10 challenge is...Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of their partner in marriage.

Ok, this was also a really good chapter so i'm going to take a few quotes out to share with y'all. Yes, I said y'all. I'm a Texan. Lets move on.

"If someone were to ask you 'Why do you love your wife?' or 'Why do you love your husband?'--what would you say?"

Would your response be something about their good looks or their personality? For men, would it be something about how she's a good cook or a wonderful mother? "But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on the answers above, the only logical answer would be 'no'. If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities-and then those same qualities disappear-your basis for love is over. The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.

That is a lot to swallow isn't it? I had to stop and really think about this one. I know that if someone were to ask me why I love my husband I would list off things about his character and things he does for me and our family. But is that the extent of it?

I love my husband. With everything I have in me I love him. There is no doubt of that in my mind or in his. But...what if everything about him were to change? Would I continue to love him? Would you be able to?

"If your marriage totally depends on having common interests or enjoying a healthy sex life, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable. Agape love on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional. So unless this kind of love forms the foundation of your marriage, the wet and tear of time will destroy it. Agape love is 'in sickness and health' love, 'for richer or poorer' love, 'for better or worse' love. It is the only kind of love is true love. That's because this is God's kind of love. He doesn't love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving."

"But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless you allow God to begin growing His love within you. Love that 'bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things' (1 Corinthians 13:7) does not come from within. It can only come from God. And don't be surprise, when your spouse begins living confidently under it's shade, if he or she doesn't become even more lovable to you than you remember. You will no longer say 'I love you because...' You will now say, 'I love you period.' "

So take some time today, find something you can do for your spouse, that shows them you love them. Find a way to show them that Agape love. If you are at a place in your marriage that you don't feel the Agape love for them, take the time to pray for your spouse and ask Jesus to help you grow that love inside of you. If Jesus is in you, His love is in you, and His love is Agape love.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Day 9

Day 9 (Feb 9) "Love makes good impressions" 1 Pet. 5:14
You can tell a lot about the state of a couple's relationship from the way they greet one another. You can see it in their expression and countenance, as well as how they speak to each other. It is even more obvious by their physical contact. Work on greeting your husband "special" when he arrives home from work!

Day 9 challenge is...Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Has your spouse ever walked in the door and been hit with a wave of your emotions and frustrations from the day? I know my husband sure has! There have been days when the kids were crazy all day and as soon as Colby walked in the door I threw all their craziness on him. He barely had a chance to say hi before he was hit with stress and problems I expected him to solve.

Can I ask you something? Would you want to come home to that?

He could have had a wonderful day and within those first two minuets home, it was all shot down.

However, what if I you and I change how we greet them? Can you imagine the difference?

Here are a couple of quotes from todays dare in The Love Dare...

"Consider the difference it would make in your spouse's day if everything about you expressed the fact that you were really, really glad to see them. When someone communicates that they are glad to see you, your personal sense of self-worth increases. You feel more important and valued. That's because a good greeting sets the stage for positive and healthy interaction."

"Think of the opportunities you have to greet each other on a regular basis....It doesn't have to be bold and dramatic every time. But adding warmth and enthusiasm gives you the chance to touch your mate's heart in subtle unspoken ways. Think about your greeting. Do you use it well? Does your spouse feel valued and appreciated? Do they feel loved? Even when you're not getting along too well, you can lessen the tension and give them value by the way you greet them. Remember, love is a choice. So choose to change your greeting. Choose to love."

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Day 8

Day 8 (Feb 8) "Love is not jealous" Song of Sol. 8:6
If you're not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living the life of love God intended.

Day 8 challenge is...Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set you heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Jealousy. Such a simple word and yet, it's so very powerful. Every single person has been jealous of someone else at some point. It's a part of life and something that we all struggle from. But did you know that there is actually a good kind of jealousy? this quote is from Day 8 in The Love Dare book and I just had to share it. "There are actually two forms (of jealousy): a legitimate jealousy based upon love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love, who belongs to you, turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else."

Having seen that definition take a step back and look at your marriage with a new perspective. Is there anything in your life that your spouse has a legitimate reason to be jealous of?

A couple of weeks ago Colby and I got into a...discussion, if you will...ok, it was a fight. He said I was spending too much time on my computer and texting with my friends. He dared to say that when we were sitting together watching tv I wasn't even really there with him because I always had my computer on my lap. Or we'd be having a conversation and I would be texting while he was talking to me. I of course got very upset! I mean, how dare he accuse me of not paying attention to him! I would never actually do that! But you know what? I was doing exactly that.

It took a little while for me to calm down and get control of my anger but once I did I saw that he was right. I had started taking my focus off of my husband and putting it into something inconsequential, like facebook.

My husband had every right to become upset and grow jealous. I had done exactly what the book said, I had slowly and without meaning to, begun to turn my heart away from him and put it into my activities on the computer. Now don't get me wrong, the things I was doing on the computer were not bad. I don't want anyone to think that I was doing anything I shouldn't have been doing on the computer. It was the amount of time I was spending on there that was the problem.

Is there anything that you have started putting your time and your heart into that is causing your spouse and your marriage to suffer? If so, pray about it first. Bringing Jesus into the problem with always create a solution! But after praying about it, go to your spouse. Admit to them where you've been wrong. It can be so hard to do that but it is necessary! Then, apologize for giving them reason to be jealous and begin to change. A learned behavior is not something that will change overnight, it will take time and a conscious effort to change.

There are still evenings we will sit down to watch a movie and my first instinct is to reach over and grab my computer. There are still times my husband and I are having a conversation and I get a text and want to instantly check it while he is still talking to me. And there are still times I do both of those things. It is still something I am working on every day to improve.

Do not expect perfection over night! It won't happen. But don't give up and keep working towards giving your spouse nothing to be jealous of.

Now for the other kind of jealousy. The ugly kind. Have you ever been jealous of your spouse? I sure have! I am a stay at home mom and I absolutely love it. But, I will say there have been times that I was very jealous that my husband got to get out of the house every day! He actually got to go out and talk to other adults! He didn't have to change a single dirty diaper that day. He didn't have to wash any dishes or fold any laundry all day.

Every one of these thoughts, if dwelt on, is poison to yourself and to your marriage!

It can be so easy to see the job your spouse does as better than yours, whatever career you may be in. You can see it as more important and more grand than what your doing. Or you can see it as easier and less stressful than your job. As a stay at home mom especially it can be such a challenge to stay on top of these thoughts.

When I finally talked to my husband about this you know what I found out? He was actually jealous of me! I found out that he actually wished he could be the one staying home with our kids every day. He thought I had things so much better by being able to be there with the kids and see everything they do each day! I was shocked!

We both ended up having to reign in our feelings on this and get control of our jealousy.

So along with the challenge for today, I want to add a little bit to it. Take a long and hard look at yourself and your marriage. Are there any areas that you are jealous of your spouse? Are there any areas you are giving your spouse a reason to be jealous of you and your time? Spend some time in prayer about these areas and discuss them with your spouse.

It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart. It's time to let your mates successes draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show genuine love.

This post is linked up to the Titus 2sday linkup, Raising Homemakers linkup and the Women Living Well linkup.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Day 6 and 7

I'm so sorry i'm just now getting this up for everyone! If you don't have to book and haven't been able to follow along in another way, feel free to catch up if you can. Do try to overwhelm yourself by doing it all at once. Just take a little extra time out over the next day or so and try to get these challenges in there. It will be well worth it I promise! :o)

Day 6 (Feb 6) "Love is not irritable" Proverbs 16:32
A loving wife is not overly sensitive or cranky but exercises emotional self-control. She chooses to be a flower among the thorns and respond pleasantly during prickly situations.

Day 6 challenge is...Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. begin by making a list of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Day 7 (Feb 7) "Love believes the best" 1 Cor. 13:7
Your husband is a living, breathing, endless book to be read. Dreams and hopes have yet to be realized. Talents and abilities may be discovered like hidden treasure. But the choice to explore them starts with a decision by you. Develop a habit of reining in your negative thoughts and focusing on the positive attributes of your husband.

Day 7 challenge is...For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minuets writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet. place both in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 5

Day 5 (Feb 5) "Love is not rude" Proverbs 27:14
How does your husband feel about the way you speak and act around him? How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem? Would your husband say you're a blessing or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

Day 5 challenge is..."Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable to irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only."

Wow. Now we're getting into the really challenging challenges! When was the last time you asked your spouse something like this? Have you ever?

I have occasionally asked Colby something like this and let me tell you, his answers are not always easy. Every time I ask him I always picture him saying something to the effect of "Oh darling, you know you're perfect to me! There isn't anything I would change about you!" HA! I don't know why I ever expect an answer like that and yet, most times I do. He is always very sweet in his answers and has never used that as an opportunity to tear me apart (thank goodness!) but it's still never easy to hear that your spouse doesn't like something about you or something you're doing.

I also have to caution you in how you ask your spouse. Questions like this can put your spouse, husbands especially, on guard. He or she may very well feel like this is a set up! You're probably going to have to give some reassurance that you really will not jump all over them when they give you honest answers and it may be a little like pulling teeth to get some honest answers out of them. But it really is worth it in the end. I promise!!

Now remember "You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior." Just thought i'd add that last part in there one more time. :o)

Day 3 and 4

So sorry I missed posting yesterday! I left the house at 11:00 and didn't get back home until after 6:00. Crazy busy day! So since I missed posting yesterday I decided to just post both days in one. You ready?

Day 3 (Feb 3) "Love is not selfish" Rom. 12:10

One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband, you are still being selfish. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.

The challenge for day 3 is..."Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says 'I was thinking of you today.' "

Personal confession time...I did horrible yesterday!! I did buy something for my hubby (his favorite coke and a biti pie) but I did not refrain from negative comments. I had a rough time with the kids after picking my son up from school and buy the time Colby got off work I allowed my self to completely throw all my frustration and exhaustion at him. Just a heads up, it doesn't matter what sweet thing you buy for your spouse when you don't add the "restraining from negative comments" part!

So today, i'm at it again! Even when you fail...yes when...not just have to wake up the next day and start from scratch. Don't let it get you down and make you give up. Just start right where you are and keep going forward.

Now, onto day 4.

Day 4 (Feb 4) "Love is thoughtful" Psalm 139:17-18
When was the last time you spent a few minutes thinking about how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your spouse? What immediate need can you meet? What's the next even you could be preparing for? Great marriages come from great thinking.

The challenge for day 4 is..."Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could to for them."

This challenge for me personally isn't a huge challenge. My husband and I both call each other off and on throughout most days while he is at work. But if this is not something you normally do with your spouse, be prepared for a little curiosity from them when you call. Anything out of the ordinary can cause suspicion sometimes so remember, keep yourself kind and refrain from those negative comments!

Since this particular challenge isn't a difficult one for me, i'm focusing on my comments today. I'm determined to be positive towards my husband and greet him with joy at the end of the day!

So now, I need some comments! Anyone else joining in these challenges with me? If so, how are y'all doing on them?! How is your spouse taking it? Have they noticed anything different since you started this?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Day 2

Yesterday I posted about a new challenge that i'm participating in for the 14 days leading up to Valentines day. But i didn't realize until this morning that I didn't say anything about what day 1's challenge was. Oops! :o) So i'll start out by back tracking a little bit. I'll start by copying parts from the blog that started this challenge.

Day 1 (Feb 1) "Love is patient" Eph. 4:2
Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. Choose to respond with patience towards your husband in all things.

In the book The Love Dare the challenge for day one is this...the first part of the dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our hearts. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold you tongue than to say something you'll regret.

Not long ago i had to really work on this one. Without even realizing i'd been doing it, i had become very negative when talking to my husband. He was the one person that I could just let it all out with and I got very comfortable doing just that. But i've put a lot of work and effort since then into holding my tongue and just staying quiet when the temptation arises. Now, that's not saying that I always accomplish this goal because that's just not the case. But it is something that I work towards everyday. So yesterday I worked extra hard on this and I think I made it through the day for the most part without speaking negatively towards him. As far as I can remember that is. :o)

Day 2 (Feb 2) "Love is kind" Eph. 4:32
Kindness inspires you to be agreeable. Instead of being obstinate, reluctant, or stubborn, you cooperate, you stay flexible. Rather than complaining and making excuses, you look for reasons to compromise and accommodate. A kind wife ends thousands of potential arguments by her willingness to listen first rather than demand her way.

The challenge for day two is...In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

So today, you and i have to work at saying nothing negative again. I think the reason for this is, it can take a lot of days to teach yourself to not be negative! At least that's how it's been for me. But also, come up with something out of the ordinary to do for your spouse. For example, sometimes when Colby comes home at night he has a lot of work he has to do so i'll make him a pot of coffee for him to enjoy while working. This is just one example of something to do but find a way to get creative and make it your own. But whatever it is you come up with, make sure it's something special that he or she would really enjoy. If your spouse doesn't drink coffee, making some for them in the evening wouldn't be very special for them. :o)

Whatever it is you decide to do, feel free to leave a comment and let me know you're following along with this challenge and how you did today. I'll update tomorrow with what I decided to do for Colby!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

14-Day Challenge

Has anyone seen the movie "Fireproof"? It was an amazing movie and i've watched it several times over the last 2 years. The first time we watched it was with our couples group, we all went to the theater to see it and I was surprised at how many of us were crying by the end of it! There were several times where Colby and I felt like someone had come to our house and recorded moments and used them for this movie. When we first got married we had no idea how to love each other and yet somehow, after a lot of hurts and almost walking away, we managed to stick it out. We are now so very blessed in our marriage but there is still ALWAYS room for improvement, there's never a point there we can get comfortable and stop working at it. That's where this challenge comes in...

The movie is biased on the book "The Love Dare" which is a 40 day challenge, it pushes and teaches you how to love your spouse in a new and deeper way. Colby and I bought the book not long after watching the movie because we were so inspired by it we just had to have it. But I have to be honest with you, neither of us have actually done it. I've pulled it out a couple of times to try it but I never go more than a couple of days. I think I get started and always just think "You know, we're ok. We don't really need this. It's all pretty basic stuff that we already do right?" And then back on the shelf it goes.

But I stumbled across THIS blog this morning. It's a 14-day challenge using the first 14 days of The Love Dare, it will be one challenge a day leading up to Valentines day. I think it is a wonderful idea and have decided to join in!

Anyone interested in joining me? Don't worry about not having the book, It looks like she will be posting each day what the challenge is so you can just follow along. I'm excited and can't wait to get started! I'll try to update as the days go by, somehow I don't think it'll be as easy as it sounds. :o)