Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I'm a girl. That's a pretty obvious statement. I have always been all girl. When I was young, I loved nothing more than to put on frilly dresses and see how high they could twirl. I loved playing with my dolls and playing house. I only had 1 sister, so for the most part as a young girl I didn't know much of anything about boys.

As I got a little older I started learning things about boys. I learned that they were gross! Boys would play with bugs. Boys would go to the bathroom outside! Boys...they were just plain nasty. I much preferred playing with my dolls!

Then I got even older, and learned a few more things about boys. They suddenly started getting a little less gross. In fact, some of them were even kinda cute! There were a few of them that I wished thought I was cute. But, most of them didn't.

A few years went by and I met a boy who did think I was cute. He seemed to like me a lot and I kinda liked him a lot too. He was funny. He was smart. He seemed to "get" me, and I was convinced very early on that he was the boy for me! I decided that I had to marry this boy, and I did.

Then we had a baby. And guess what? It was a boy! Over my nineteen years leading up to being the mother of a son, I thought I had gotten a pretty good understanding of boys. It took me about 9 months to figure out that I was very very wrong. I knew nothing about boys!

I discovered that boys are born with an innate desire to destroy anything their little hands touch. I learned that every flat surface was made to be a drum. I found out that very early on, toots and burps are absolutely hysterical to boys. But I think the thing that shocked me the most was what took me the longest to learn. I learned that from a very young age boys are naturally curious about and drawn to girls.

I will never forget when Konner was about three years old, we were watching American idol and a girl came into the room in a bikini. I was annoyed with the fact that she was wearing that because my husband was sitting there but I didn't even think about my son seeing it. Well, I didn't think about it until I saw how quickly it grabbed his attention. He hadn't even been looking at the tv, but as soon as that girl walked onto the screen his tiny little eyes were glued! And right there, without my even knowing it had happened, my son had been exposed to his first scantily dressed girl.

Of course we very quickly turned the tv off and i'm sure that now, 3 years later, he doesn't even remember that. But I remember it very well. It's something that I have never forgotten and probably never will.

Since then I have figured out some thing heartbreaking. I figured out that it is society's goal to destroy the innocence and purity of my children as early as possible. I think boys are more susceptible to this than girls because of how they were created. Lets face it, boys were created to be drawn to girls. Look at the very first interaction between a man and a woman in Genesis 2...

21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

23-25 The Man said,
"Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man."
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

It took Adam no time at all to become interested in Eve! Men were created to desire women. There is nothing wrong with that.

However, society has preyed on that natural God given desire and perverted it and done their best to destroy the beautiful thing that God created.

I believe that sexuality is something that children should not be faced with. It was created for married adults. Children were not designed to handle it. But it today's society, children are not only faced with sexuality, they are engulfed in sexuality. Elementary students are dealing with sex. Take THIS story for example. Back in January an elementary school suspended a 2nd grade teacher after two separate incidents were allowed in the classroom. In one of the cases apparently several students took all of their clothes off and were naked in the classroom. The second situation involved a boy and girl engaging in oral sex in front of the other students.

Two things scream out at me about this story. First of all, these are second graders we're talking about. 7 and 8 year old kids! How did these kids even know about oral sex? Call me crazy, but I don't think children that young should know about any form of sex much less be performing these acts!

The second thing that jumped out at me was, the teacher was present for these incidents. This person was in the room. This person watched the whole thing happen. This person did nothing to stop it. And this person was only suspended because of it.

This is what is happening in our society. This is the kind of junk that our kids are being faced with. And this is the kind of stuff that is destroying our society.

So often parents are looked at as over protective if they try to keep sexual junk away from their children. After all, in todays world it's everywhere. You would have to keep your children in a bubble locked in their room if you are hoping to never expose them to it right?

I'll be honest with you...i'm an over protective mom! I will not sit by and watch as my son's mind is bombarded with junk that he was never created to handle. I will not allow his future wife to have to deal with years of sexual damage from the media and the world around him that he should never have faced.

Now I am not living in a state of denial here. I do not think that he will never see another scantily clad woman. I do not think that he will enter adulthood without having seen things that he should not see. I know that it would be almost impossible for him to live out all of his days completely pure. But I will not sit by and watch it happen. I will not excuse it as "boys will be boys" and that's just how they are.

I plan on watching my kids like a hawk and teaching them what the bible says about sexuality. I will not sit back and allow them to figure it out for themselves, or worse, allow their friends to teach them. It is going to take a lot of work. I know I will be mocked by both friends and family for being over protective, to be honest, I already have been. But I believe that it's worth it.

I'm so thankful to have a husband who is even more determined than I am to raise our son to be pure and respectful of the women around him. He is determined to raise modest and pure girls, who don't fall for the schemes of the boys around them. And i'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who has given us the tools to raise our kids according to His will. I'm so thankful that we're not in this alone, He will be right there with us the whole time. He wants all these things for our kids even more than we do and i'm so thankful that He is right here with all of us helping us make it happen.

This post is linked up with Raising Homemakers, Time-Warp Wife and Women Living Well.


Jo said...

I was planning to write a piece on boys so was pleased to stumble onto yours. This is my first visit to your blog (so hi).

It is hard to go anywhere without seeing women dress immodestly, short skirts and tops that show far more than necessary. However it is on TV, front covers of magazines (on display in news agencies), music clips (these are very bad) and even on the news that women are being sexualised. You have a up hill battle to prevent your son from all this and I pray that you are able to do this.

Lovely to "meet" you. Blessings Jo

hltillery said...

Great post Jamie! We had a busy spring break so I am just now getting around to my blog reading. I love this! We take a lot of heat from family for being "over protective" as well. It just seems that with every generation parents become more lax about what is appropriate and what is not. I look at our world today and the things that children are watching. Those things weren't even allowed on tv when we were kids. It's nice to know we aren't the only parents trying to raise godly men and women!

Jamie Meyer said...

Jo, thank you so much for visiting my blog and for your comment! The challenge of raising boys is exactly that...a challenge. :o) It will be very hard to keep all that junk away from him, and in the world today it will be pretty much impossible. But it is our goal to keep those things away from him as much as possible. Our goal is also to raise him with a disdain of such things. Thankfully God will be with us the whole time teaching us as we teach him. :o)

Holly, it is so hard being looked and as over protective parents. Or I guess I should say, it was so hard. We have both gotten used to it and have pretty much accepted that we're viewed that way. But we're good with it! haha It is however very nice to find other parents with the same views and "over protectiveness" as us. :o)