Communication Part 5: Timing

Now that we have talked about all different kinds of communication I only have one more thing to say on this matter (for now!). Timing! As with almost every area of your life, timing is so important!

During the course of your marriage you will have ups and downs, good times and bad, days with problems and days with little to no problems. There will be things you will love about your spouse and things that will drive you absolutely crazy! They will do things for you that make you feel so special and they will do things that hurt or embarrass you. You'll see it all.

The good things are of course easy to take, but the bad things? Those can catch you off guard sometimes, and especially early in marriage they can be difficult to handle. While it is good to talk to your spouse about something they say or do that hurts you or bothers you, the timing in which you do so is key. When you are in the middle of an argument about your in-laws (because yes, those arguments will happen!)...that's not the time to bring up how much him hanging out with his friends so much bothers you! While you may have every right to be bothered, learn when to approach him about the subject. Take the time to come to him in a relaxed, calm way and whatever you do, do not start attacking him with your words!

Something that would be good to set up is a kind of complaint department. Figure out a way to come to each other about problems you are having (when you're not in the middle of a fight) and be open to the issues your spouse brings up. But at the same time, I have to say, be sparing with your criticism and judgments. Lets face it, words hurt! If it is at all possible for you to accept your spouses behavior and weird quirks, do so!

You have to work very hard to not throw things in each others faces. Let me tell you, there is no one in this world who knows me like Colby. In the same way, there is know one in this world who knows him like I do. That being the case, no one knows his flaws like I do and no one knows my flaws like he does. That can be a powerful weapon or it can be a huge comfort. It's all in what you do with that information!

Whatever you do, never stop talking to your spouse. Talk about everything, the good, the bad and the ugly. Remember to include each other in every part of your life. If you consistently and consciously work to keep all forms of communication open between each other your marriage can really flourish!