"I'm having a hard time explaining to my oldest why same sex people shouldn't be together. It's a very touchy subject."
Goodness gracious, when you ask readers for questions you get questions!! :o) Some questions have been easy and some have been very hard, i've even lost some followers over my answers to some questions. But now I have a question that has an easy answer but yet it's difficult to give the answer. Please bare with me as I try to answer in complete honesty and love.
Let me start by saying that I believe a lot of Christians have mishandled this situation and done a lot of damage in the name of truth. A lack of love and grace has been shown from the church as a whole to people that struggle with this issue and it is wrong. Regardless of the situation a person is in, as followers of Christ, we are to show His love to each and every person.
Before I even give my opinion on this issue we need to look at what the bible says, it is the ultimate authority on every issue we face and this one is no different.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says "Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God."
Romans 1:26-27 says "Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved."
1 Timothy 1:9-10 says "For the law was not intended for people who do what is right. It is for people who are lawless and rebellious, who are ungodly and sinful, who consider nothing sacred and defile what is holy, who kill their father or mother or commit other murders. The law is for people who are sexually immoral, or who practice homosexuality, or are slave traders, liars, promise breakers, or who do anything else that contradicts the wholesome teaching."
It is very clear that according to the bible, homosexuality is a sin. There is just no getting around that fact. It seems that this issue is everywhere now days, the world is completely bombarded and saturated with this. So many people are trying to normalize this and teach it as ok. The argument that "They are simply born that way" is everywhere and if you don't accept that answer you are viewed as judgmental.
I have always been of the group that never believed that a person is born homosexual however, I recently read the book "Learning" by Karen Kingsbury that has given me a different view of this issue and that is the view i'd like to share with you all today.
The fact of the matter is, each and every person is born with a bend towards sin. There are specific sins that every one struggles with every day. When I was a teenager, I struggled with lying. I lied so often about little things that I got very good at it and could lie to your face and you'd never know. Now as an adult i've overcome that sin but I struggle with laziness. I will put off housework for any little reason, I simply don't like doing it. But it's a fight and a struggle that i'm not giving up on.
You see, I could simply have said as a teenager that I was born a liar and continued lying all the time. Or now as an adult I could simply say that I was born lazy and it's ok that i'm this way, my family will simply have to accept living in a dirty house. But lying is a sin, laziness is a sin and homosexuality is also a sin.
People may very well be born with a tendency towards that particular sin but that does not mean that it is ok for them to live in that lifestyle. There is no sin out there that God simply accepts as "the way you were born" and allows you to live in. He just doesn't. For people that struggle with lying, God calls them to keep struggling! Keep fighting the urge to lie and ask God to help you overcome that sin. For those who struggle with laziness, keep struggling until you overcome that sin. And for those that struggle with homosexuality, keep struggling and ask God to help you overcome that sin as well.
Nowhere in the bible does it say that homosexuality is the worst sin known to man. If you look, it is listed right there with liars, greedy people, drunkards and even promise breakers. Yes, it is a sin, there's just no way around that. But just like any other sin out there, it can be overcome through Christ alone.
Now to answer the original question asked on talking with your kids about this issue I have a couple of suggestions for you.
1. Be sure your conversation is age appropriate.
Very young children are being forced to deal with this issue and their young minds are simply not able to comprehend it. For young children I would keep things at a very basic level. As much as the world likes to grey this issue, it is actually very black and white. You can explain that it is a sin without giving a young child too much information.
2. Find out exactly what situation they are faced with and what they think about it.
Are they dealing with friends at school that are homosexual? Do they believe that it is wrong? Before you can really talk about this with your kids you need to know exactly where they're at.
3. Get in the Word together!
You as the parent are charged with guiding and training your kids and you can't do that without the word. You have to have God talking to your kids through you and that comes from getting in the Word. Show your kids exactly what the bible says about this issue.
4. Don't cower away from it.
Your kids are having this issue and so many others shoved in their faces all.the.time. The world is not afraid to tell them that sin is fun and try to get them hooked. If you deal with them timidly you will be overpowered by the world. Speak to them with confidence in the bible and don't ever be afraid to call sin exactly what it is, sin.
5. Teach them love.
It is absolutely ok to teach your kids that homosexuality is sin. It is not ok to teach them that homosexuals are evil. It all goes back to the old saying "Hate the sin. Love the sinner.". You have to have this attitude and teach your kids to have this attitude. And you need to understand that your kids will pick up on your attitude about the situation. We are sent into the world to tell people the good news of Christ and show His love to them, and it is so important to remember that when dealing with this issue.
Each Friday I tackle the thoughts and questions of my readers. If there is something you would like me to discuss feel free to either leave a comment below, leave a comment on my Facebook Page or email me at joinmeforcoffeeblog(at)gmail(dot)com.