Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Have you ever wondered what it takes to make a marriage work? Why are some people happier than others? What do some couples have that others don't? I think there can be many things missing from healthy relationships, and one of those things is respect. That's the one we're going to focus on today.

Respect is a huge issue and something that every person needs, but so often in marriage when it comes to this issue, we only talk about how much guys need respect. But I believe that both men and women need respect in marriage. I think there are five main areas that you each need to respect your spouse in. We'll start with the guys.

Wives, here are five things to respect in your husband.

1. Respect his position in your life
Ephesians 5:23 says "For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church." Girls, I know it's not always easy to submit to our husbands but I believe it is biblical. Your husband was placed as the head of your family and your are to respect his position as the leader.

2. Respect his labor.
Your husband works hard to provide for and protect your family. You have to respect his work! If you spend all your time tearing him down because he's gone too much, or because you don't think he's working hard enough you can and will do so much damage! If you really think he is missing it in the area of his work, pray about it and seek the advice of a Christian counselor. But understand that it may not be his work that needs adjusting, it may just be how you see his work.

3.Respect his career.
Whether your husband has a hard labor job or an office job of some kind, respect the career that he's chosen to poor himself into. When my husband decided he wanted to be a photographer I thought it was the goofiest idea he'd ever had! I just didn't see how it would work and honestly I wasn't very supportive in the beginning. But I began to see the stress my doubt was causing so I decided to get on board with it, and I was shocked at what an amazing photographer he really is! So get behind him and respect the career he pores himself into.

4. Respect his gifts.
Whatever area your husband is gifted in, you need to respect that. Encourage him, push him, show genuine interest in those things. He really does need you to support him and believe in him!

5. Respect his decisions.
Oh man, this one can be hard!! This one goes well with the first one and is also very hard for us girls to do. But girls, again, he was placed as the head of your family. When push comes to shove, he is the one to make the final decisions for your family and you have to respect him. As hard as that is, and as much prayer as that takes sometimes, it's so important!

Ok guys, now it's your turn. Here are five things you need to respect in you wife.

1. Respect her position in your life.
In Genesis 2 :18 God says "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." Your wife was given to you to help you in life. She is a huge gift to you! Respect the role she plays in your home, your family and in your life personally. Never belittle her position!

2. Respect her labor.
I don't care if your wife works in the home or out of the home, she works and she works hard! A lot of men don't fully understand what all their wives do and just how much they really work until they themselves have to fill in. If you truly don't believe that she works very hard, I challenge you to follow her around for a full day and see just what all she does. You need to find little ways to let her know that you respect everything she does, even the little things that seem to go unnoticed.

3. Respect her career.
If your wife has chosen to tackle the business world, respect that. If she has chosen to stay home and raise your children, respect that. Often times it's easier to respect her career when it is outside of the home but working inside the home is just as valuable and should not be mocked or put down in any way!

4. Respect her gifts.
The absolute biggest fan of my blog is my husband! He constantly encourages me and lets me bounce ideas for topics off of him. He pushes me when I need it and talks big and dreams with me all the time. Guys, if you don't already know, find out what your wife's gifts are and support her in them. Become her biggest fan and you'll never regret it!

5. Respect her opinions.
Alright guys, this is a big one. Yes, you are the head of the house and the ultimate decision does fall on you but...listen to your wife's opinions! Understand that Jesus talks to her too and she has a very unique view to bring to any discussion. Honestly listen to and respect her opinions and you'll do so much for your relationship.

Respect is so important to your marriage and it's much more than just an Aretha Franklin song! You can flirt and complement until your blue in the face but if you don't have the deep respect for each other, it's pointless. It's about so much more than just your actions towards one another, it's about your heart. Respect begins there! Also don't forget, respect needs to be shown in public as much as in private. It should be a constant, all the time thing.

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