Friday, June 17, 2011

What Women Want

Now that we have talked a little about what it is that men want, let's talk about some of the things that women want.

1. A woman wants to be valued.
Guys, I cannot even begin to tell you how hard your wife's job is! The inner workings of your home fall on her shoulders. Her work never ends, it doesn't matter if she works outside of the home or she is a stay-at-home wife and mom. Either way, she works from the second her feet hit the floor until she collapses in bed each night. Plus she is on-call during the night for anything the kids may need or if someone wakes up sick. Letting her know how much you appreciate and value all that she does and everything she gives to your family can make such a huge difference in her life. Never underestimate the value of a heartfelt "thank you" (and a surprise gift or night off is always wonderful as well!).

2. A woman wants affection.
The word affection is defined as "fond attachment, devotion, or love". Guys, you have to understand that your wife needs to feel your love for her. She needs to be reminded of it regularly. The old joke about not telling her you love her anymore because you told her when you married her just doesn't cut it! You cause both you and your wife to miss out on so much when you are not regularly showing her affection.

3. A woman wants conversation.
I have talked a lot about communication and for guys, that can be a little frustrating. But men, you have to understand just how important talking is to a woman. There are so many different levels of conversation. There is the deep meaningful conversation that opens you up and draws you closer together, and then there is the basic everyday conversation that is just a part of sharing your life with someone. Us girls need them both. Guys, a great thing to remember is, just as much as you want and need sex, us girls want and need conversation. You just have to face the fact that you married a woman and us girls just need to talk to you and have you talk back to us!

4. A woman wants honesty and openness.
There have been times in our marriage that my husband has been closed off to me. Some of those time it was because we were going through a difficult time and we did not feel very close to one another. Then there were other times that he was just wrapped up in his work and struggles that he was going through personally. But either way, when my husband is closed off to me it can be frightening! It instantly causes me to shut myself off from him and being closed off from each other is never any good for your marriage. As for honesty, there is nothing worse than a liar! Even if the truth is very hard to deal with, it's always better than a lie. Work on living a life of openness and honesty with your wife and your marriage with blossom!

5. A woman wants financial security.
Guys I don't care if she has a better job than you, your wife still depends on your for her financial security. She still looks to you to be the rock that keeps it all together. You have to do everything possible to make sure she is financially secure. Now, I understand that times are very hard right now and some people simply can't find work. But guys, in that situation you need to be doing everything in your power to assure her that you're doing everything you can to provide for and take care of her and your family.

6. A woman wants commitment to the family.
My parents divorced when I was 15. I watched my dad walk away from our family and choose a new family. The scars from that go very, very deep. One of my biggest fears in life has been Colby leaving and my kids and I having to live through that. For our first few years I lived with that fear at the forefront of my mind constantly. I would push him and test him to see if he would leave. I did not believe that he would stay, no matter how much he told me he wasn't going anywhere I didn't believe him. Do you know what finally changed things for me? He never left. Sounds pretty simple huh? It didn't seem to matter how much he told me that he wasn't going anywhere, I had to see him live it out. I had to see his commitment to me and our kids grow deeper each day. He had to BE committed, not just SAY he was committed.

7. A woman wants safety and protection.
Guys, you have to do everything possible to go out of your way to make sure she knows you are keeping her safe! If there's a sounds in the house at night, get up and see what it is. While you may be able to ignore it, she can not. You may be sound asleep but your wife can lay there for quite some time with her imagination running wild! Take extra steps to show her that she is safe with you. But you need to take this one step further, you have to make sure she knows that she is safe from you. Guys, you are stronger than us. That's just a fact. During an argument it can be very easy to let yourself go and you have to protect your wife by controlling your aggression during a conflict. Don't ever let your wife feel unsafe by the very person that God sent to keep her safe!

What do you think girls? Is there anything not on this list that you want from your spouse? Are you getting it? Does your husband know that you want it?


Kelly Howard said...

You have summed it up perfectly! This was an excellent post! I am not sure why you have only a few are gonna be big one day soon....and I knew you when you first started! AWESOME!

Jamie said...

Thank you very much Kelly! Your comment means a lot and comes at a very perfect time. :o)

Holly said...

Excellent Jamie! And I agree with the above comment, you're going be huge!