I found the book "Lioness Arising" to be a good book. I believe the point of the book was to stir up and challenge women to rise up and change the wold around them. The book began as a very moving book. It did stir me up and give me a desire to go out and do more for Christ.
However, I have to admit that before I was half way through the book I began to lose interest in it. It seemed to be all motivational with out much instruction. There are several lion and lioness stories through out the book which does add quite a lot to it and helped get the point of the book across. I did in fact learn things about lions that I never knew before.
But at the end of it all, I walked away from the book motivated but very unsure of what to do with that motivation, I would have preferred more instruction on how to accomplish the goal of becoming a "lioness". It was a good read however and I will most likely pass my copy along to others.
"I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Boys!
I'm a girl. That's a pretty obvious statement. I have always been all girl. When I was young, I loved nothing more than to put on frilly dresses and see how high they could twirl. I loved playing with my dolls and playing house. I only had 1 sister, so for the most part as a young girl I didn't know much of anything about boys.
As I got a little older I started learning things about boys. I learned that they were gross! Boys would play with bugs. Boys would go to the bathroom outside! Boys...they were just plain nasty. I much preferred playing with my dolls!
Then I got even older, and learned a few more things about boys. They suddenly started getting a little less gross. In fact, some of them were even kinda cute! There were a few of them that I wished thought I was cute. But, most of them didn't.
A few years went by and I met a boy who did think I was cute. He seemed to like me a lot and I kinda liked him a lot too. He was funny. He was smart. He seemed to "get" me, and I was convinced very early on that he was the boy for me! I decided that I had to marry this boy, and I did.
Then we had a baby. And guess what? It was a boy! Over my nineteen years leading up to being the mother of a son, I thought I had gotten a pretty good understanding of boys. It took me about 9 months to figure out that I was very very wrong. I knew nothing about boys!
I discovered that boys are born with an innate desire to destroy anything their little hands touch. I learned that every flat surface was made to be a drum. I found out that very early on, toots and burps are absolutely hysterical to boys. But I think the thing that shocked me the most was what took me the longest to learn. I learned that from a very young age boys are naturally curious about and drawn to girls.
I will never forget when Konner was about three years old, we were watching American idol and a girl came into the room in a bikini. I was annoyed with the fact that she was wearing that because my husband was sitting there but I didn't even think about my son seeing it. Well, I didn't think about it until I saw how quickly it grabbed his attention. He hadn't even been looking at the tv, but as soon as that girl walked onto the screen his tiny little eyes were glued! And right there, without my even knowing it had happened, my son had been exposed to his first scantily dressed girl.
Of course we very quickly turned the tv off and i'm sure that now, 3 years later, he doesn't even remember that. But I remember it very well. It's something that I have never forgotten and probably never will.
Since then I have figured out some thing heartbreaking. I figured out that it is society's goal to destroy the innocence and purity of my children as early as possible. I think boys are more susceptible to this than girls because of how they were created. Lets face it, boys were created to be drawn to girls. Look at the very first interaction between a man and a woman in Genesis 2...
21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.
23-25 The Man said,
"Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man."
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.
It took Adam no time at all to become interested in Eve! Men were created to desire women. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, society has preyed on that natural God given desire and perverted it and done their best to destroy the beautiful thing that God created.
I believe that sexuality is something that children should not be faced with. It was created for married adults. Children were not designed to handle it. But it today's society, children are not only faced with sexuality, they are engulfed in sexuality. Elementary students are dealing with sex. Take THIS story for example. Back in January an elementary school suspended a 2nd grade teacher after two separate incidents were allowed in the classroom. In one of the cases apparently several students took all of their clothes off and were naked in the classroom. The second situation involved a boy and girl engaging in oral sex in front of the other students.
Two things scream out at me about this story. First of all, these are second graders we're talking about. 7 and 8 year old kids! How did these kids even know about oral sex? Call me crazy, but I don't think children that young should know about any form of sex much less be performing these acts!
The second thing that jumped out at me was, the teacher was present for these incidents. This person was in the room. This person watched the whole thing happen. This person did nothing to stop it. And this person was only suspended because of it.
This is what is happening in our society. This is the kind of junk that our kids are being faced with. And this is the kind of stuff that is destroying our society.
So often parents are looked at as over protective if they try to keep sexual junk away from their children. After all, in todays world it's everywhere. You would have to keep your children in a bubble locked in their room if you are hoping to never expose them to it right?
I'll be honest with you...i'm an over protective mom! I will not sit by and watch as my son's mind is bombarded with junk that he was never created to handle. I will not allow his future wife to have to deal with years of sexual damage from the media and the world around him that he should never have faced.
Now I am not living in a state of denial here. I do not think that he will never see another scantily clad woman. I do not think that he will enter adulthood without having seen things that he should not see. I know that it would be almost impossible for him to live out all of his days completely pure. But I will not sit by and watch it happen. I will not excuse it as "boys will be boys" and that's just how they are.
I plan on watching my kids like a hawk and teaching them what the bible says about sexuality. I will not sit back and allow them to figure it out for themselves, or worse, allow their friends to teach them. It is going to take a lot of work. I know I will be mocked by both friends and family for being over protective, to be honest, I already have been. But I believe that it's worth it.
I'm so thankful to have a husband who is even more determined than I am to raise our son to be pure and respectful of the women around him. He is determined to raise modest and pure girls, who don't fall for the schemes of the boys around them. And i'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who has given us the tools to raise our kids according to His will. I'm so thankful that we're not in this alone, He will be right there with us the whole time. He wants all these things for our kids even more than we do and i'm so thankful that He is right here with all of us helping us make it happen.
This post is linked up with Raising Homemakers, Time-Warp Wife and Women Living Well.
As I got a little older I started learning things about boys. I learned that they were gross! Boys would play with bugs. Boys would go to the bathroom outside! Boys...they were just plain nasty. I much preferred playing with my dolls!
Then I got even older, and learned a few more things about boys. They suddenly started getting a little less gross. In fact, some of them were even kinda cute! There were a few of them that I wished thought I was cute. But, most of them didn't.
A few years went by and I met a boy who did think I was cute. He seemed to like me a lot and I kinda liked him a lot too. He was funny. He was smart. He seemed to "get" me, and I was convinced very early on that he was the boy for me! I decided that I had to marry this boy, and I did.
Then we had a baby. And guess what? It was a boy! Over my nineteen years leading up to being the mother of a son, I thought I had gotten a pretty good understanding of boys. It took me about 9 months to figure out that I was very very wrong. I knew nothing about boys!
I discovered that boys are born with an innate desire to destroy anything their little hands touch. I learned that every flat surface was made to be a drum. I found out that very early on, toots and burps are absolutely hysterical to boys. But I think the thing that shocked me the most was what took me the longest to learn. I learned that from a very young age boys are naturally curious about and drawn to girls.
I will never forget when Konner was about three years old, we were watching American idol and a girl came into the room in a bikini. I was annoyed with the fact that she was wearing that because my husband was sitting there but I didn't even think about my son seeing it. Well, I didn't think about it until I saw how quickly it grabbed his attention. He hadn't even been looking at the tv, but as soon as that girl walked onto the screen his tiny little eyes were glued! And right there, without my even knowing it had happened, my son had been exposed to his first scantily dressed girl.
Of course we very quickly turned the tv off and i'm sure that now, 3 years later, he doesn't even remember that. But I remember it very well. It's something that I have never forgotten and probably never will.
Since then I have figured out some thing heartbreaking. I figured out that it is society's goal to destroy the innocence and purity of my children as early as possible. I think boys are more susceptible to this than girls because of how they were created. Lets face it, boys were created to be drawn to girls. Look at the very first interaction between a man and a woman in Genesis 2...
21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.
23-25 The Man said,
"Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man."
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.
It took Adam no time at all to become interested in Eve! Men were created to desire women. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, society has preyed on that natural God given desire and perverted it and done their best to destroy the beautiful thing that God created.
I believe that sexuality is something that children should not be faced with. It was created for married adults. Children were not designed to handle it. But it today's society, children are not only faced with sexuality, they are engulfed in sexuality. Elementary students are dealing with sex. Take THIS story for example. Back in January an elementary school suspended a 2nd grade teacher after two separate incidents were allowed in the classroom. In one of the cases apparently several students took all of their clothes off and were naked in the classroom. The second situation involved a boy and girl engaging in oral sex in front of the other students.
Two things scream out at me about this story. First of all, these are second graders we're talking about. 7 and 8 year old kids! How did these kids even know about oral sex? Call me crazy, but I don't think children that young should know about any form of sex much less be performing these acts!
The second thing that jumped out at me was, the teacher was present for these incidents. This person was in the room. This person watched the whole thing happen. This person did nothing to stop it. And this person was only suspended because of it.
This is what is happening in our society. This is the kind of junk that our kids are being faced with. And this is the kind of stuff that is destroying our society.
So often parents are looked at as over protective if they try to keep sexual junk away from their children. After all, in todays world it's everywhere. You would have to keep your children in a bubble locked in their room if you are hoping to never expose them to it right?
I'll be honest with you...i'm an over protective mom! I will not sit by and watch as my son's mind is bombarded with junk that he was never created to handle. I will not allow his future wife to have to deal with years of sexual damage from the media and the world around him that he should never have faced.
Now I am not living in a state of denial here. I do not think that he will never see another scantily clad woman. I do not think that he will enter adulthood without having seen things that he should not see. I know that it would be almost impossible for him to live out all of his days completely pure. But I will not sit by and watch it happen. I will not excuse it as "boys will be boys" and that's just how they are.
I plan on watching my kids like a hawk and teaching them what the bible says about sexuality. I will not sit back and allow them to figure it out for themselves, or worse, allow their friends to teach them. It is going to take a lot of work. I know I will be mocked by both friends and family for being over protective, to be honest, I already have been. But I believe that it's worth it.
I'm so thankful to have a husband who is even more determined than I am to raise our son to be pure and respectful of the women around him. He is determined to raise modest and pure girls, who don't fall for the schemes of the boys around them. And i'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who has given us the tools to raise our kids according to His will. I'm so thankful that we're not in this alone, He will be right there with us the whole time. He wants all these things for our kids even more than we do and i'm so thankful that He is right here with all of us helping us make it happen.
This post is linked up with Raising Homemakers, Time-Warp Wife and Women Living Well.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Pride...Good or bad?
I have a really bad habit that I have to confess. I can NOT take a complement. Ever. It does not matter what it's about, I will find a way to knock it down. If you tell me I look nice, i'll point out what's wrong with how I look. If you tell me my kids are good, i'll talk about what they did wrong the day before. If you say anything about me being a good friend, wife or mom, i'll point out all the times i've failed in these areas. If you tell me the meal I made tastes good, i'll point out what's wrong with it. This one drives my husband crazy! It doesn't matter what meal it is, I will find something wrong with it every time, no matter what.
See the Bible talks about humility and how we as christians need to live humble lives. But I think i've always taken this way to far! I've always had the idea that if I accepted complements, I was taking pride in myself and that was not living in humility. I felt like if I admitted that food I cooked was good, it was prideful. Sounds silly doesn't it? But let me ask you...how many of us live like this?
Women do so many things for their families on a regular basis, and don't get me wrong, I believe in that. But what is wrong with taking pride in who you are and what you do? If you are an amazing housekeeper, take pride in that! If you love your husband with everything you have, take pride in that! If your cooking rivals Paula Dean, take pride in that! There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are.
I saw this saying several days ago and it's really made me think about this a lot. "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself...it's thinking of yourself less."
Isn't that what it really comes down to?
I don't believe we were ever meant to live with our heads down, scared to death of being prideful. I think I personally need to lift my head up high and take pride in who I am and what I can do. I am a good cook. I love my husband very much and am a very good wife to him. I'm also a good mom to each of my kids. (I have to admit that as I write each of these it's very hard to not add in little "buts" after each one.) :o) But, i'm not gonna do it! I am proud of who I am and what all i've come though. Not only that, but I can't wait to see where all I go and what else i'll do with my life. I'm only 25...i've still got a lot of living to do and i'm determined to live it with my head high.
This post is liked up with Time Warp Wife and Raising Homemakers.
See the Bible talks about humility and how we as christians need to live humble lives. But I think i've always taken this way to far! I've always had the idea that if I accepted complements, I was taking pride in myself and that was not living in humility. I felt like if I admitted that food I cooked was good, it was prideful. Sounds silly doesn't it? But let me ask you...how many of us live like this?
Women do so many things for their families on a regular basis, and don't get me wrong, I believe in that. But what is wrong with taking pride in who you are and what you do? If you are an amazing housekeeper, take pride in that! If you love your husband with everything you have, take pride in that! If your cooking rivals Paula Dean, take pride in that! There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are.
I saw this saying several days ago and it's really made me think about this a lot. "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself...it's thinking of yourself less."
Isn't that what it really comes down to?
I don't believe we were ever meant to live with our heads down, scared to death of being prideful. I think I personally need to lift my head up high and take pride in who I am and what I can do. I am a good cook. I love my husband very much and am a very good wife to him. I'm also a good mom to each of my kids. (I have to admit that as I write each of these it's very hard to not add in little "buts" after each one.) :o) But, i'm not gonna do it! I am proud of who I am and what all i've come though. Not only that, but I can't wait to see where all I go and what else i'll do with my life. I'm only 25...i've still got a lot of living to do and i'm determined to live it with my head high.
This post is liked up with Time Warp Wife and Raising Homemakers.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Day 13
Today I am simply going to copy everything from the chapter 13 in The Love Dare. It's all way to goo to not share!
Day 13 (Feb 13) "Love fights fair" Mark 3:25
The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. But love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your husband is more important than whatever you're fighting about. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.
Day 13 challenge is...Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Love Fights Fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. – Mark 3:25
Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage. From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another, unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be.
Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off of theirs. The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits. Welcome to fallen humanity.
At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you’re really made of. Work demands, health issues, in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship. This sets the stage for disagreements to break out between the two of you. You argued and fought. You hurt. You experienced conflict. But you are not alone.
Every couple goes through it. It’s par for the course. But not every couple survives it.
So don’t think living out today’s dare will drive all conflict from your marriage. Instead, this is about dealing with conflict in such a way that you come out healthier on the other side.
Both of you. Together.
The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you’ll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That’s because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You’re the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off the cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes.
But love steps in and changes things. Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you’re fighting about. Love helps you install air bags and to set up guardrails in your relationship. It reminds you that conflict can actually be turned around for good. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.
But how? The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement. If you don’t have guidelines for how you’ll approach hot topics, you won’t stay in bounds when the action heats up.
Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: “we” boundaries and “me” boundaries.
“We” boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation. And each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include:
1.We will never mention divorce.
2.We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3.We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4.We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5.We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6.We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7.Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.
“Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here are some of the most effective examples:
1.I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).
2.I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)
3.I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.
Day 13 (Feb 13) "Love fights fair" Mark 3:25
The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you'll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. But love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your husband is more important than whatever you're fighting about. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.
Day 13 challenge is...Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.
Love Fights Fair
If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. – Mark 3:25
Like it or not, conflict in marriage is simply inevitable. When you tied the knot as bride and groom, you joined not only your hopes and dreams but also your hurts, fears, imperfections, and emotional baggage. From the moment you unpacked from your honeymoon, you began the real process of unpacking one another, unpleasantly discovering how sinful and selfish each of you could be.
Pretty soon your mate started to slip off your lofty pedestal, and you off of theirs. The forced closeness of marriage began stripping away your public facades, exposing your private problems and secret habits. Welcome to fallen humanity.
At the same time, the storms of life began testing and revealing what you’re really made of. Work demands, health issues, in-law arguments, and financial needs flared up in varying degrees, adding pressure and heat to the relationship. This sets the stage for disagreements to break out between the two of you. You argued and fought. You hurt. You experienced conflict. But you are not alone.
Every couple goes through it. It’s par for the course. But not every couple survives it.
So don’t think living out today’s dare will drive all conflict from your marriage. Instead, this is about dealing with conflict in such a way that you come out healthier on the other side.
Both of you. Together.
The deepest, most heartbreaking damage you’ll ever do (or ever have done) to your marriage will most likely occur in the thick of conflict. That’s because this is when your pride is strongest. Your anger is hottest. You’re the most selfish and judgmental. Your words contain the most venom. You make the worst decisions. A great marriage on Monday can start driving off the cliff on Tuesday if unbridled conflict takes over and neither of you has your foot on the brakes.
But love steps in and changes things. Love reminds you that your marriage is too valuable to allow it to self-destruct, and that your love for your spouse is more important than whatever you’re fighting about. Love helps you install air bags and to set up guardrails in your relationship. It reminds you that conflict can actually be turned around for good. Married couples who learn to work through conflict tend to be closer, more trusting, more intimate, and enjoy a much deeper connection afterwards.
But how? The wisest way is to learn to fight clean by establishing healthy rules of engagement. If you don’t have guidelines for how you’ll approach hot topics, you won’t stay in bounds when the action heats up.
Basically there are two types of boundaries for dealing with conflict: “we” boundaries and “me” boundaries.
“We” boundaries are rules you both agree on beforehand, rules that apply during any fight or altercation. And each of you has the right to gently but directly enforce them if these rules are violated. These could include:
1.We will never mention divorce.
2.We will not bring up old, unrelated items from the past.
3.We will never fight in public or in front of our children.
4.We will call a “time out” if conflict escalates to a damaging level.
5.We will never touch one another in a harmful way.
6.We will never go to bed angry with one another.
7.Failure is not an option. Whatever it takes, we will work this out.
“Me” boundaries are rules you personally practice on your own. Here are some of the most effective examples:
1.I will listen first before speaking. “Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger” (James 1:19).
2.I will deal with my own issues up-front. “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3)
3.I will speak gently and keep my voice down. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
Fighting fair means changing your weapons. Disagreeing with dignity. It should result in building a bridge instead of burning one down. Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.
Day 12
Day 12 (Feb 12) "Love lets others win" Phil. 2:4
Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your husband? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run--especially in eternity--then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be good for you and good for your marriage.
Day 12 challenge is...Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
Are you a stubborn person? I personally am a very stubborn person! I can form an opinion about something, or decide I want to do something that that's it. My heals are dug in and my mind is made up. End of story, this is what i want to do. Let me tell you, when your married, that does not go over well!
Quick example here...I love Christmas! It's my very favorite time of the year. Everything is bright and wonderful and happy. I love the music, the decorations, all the food, I just love everything about it. Colby however, does not love Christmas. He hates Christmas music and shopping and all the crowds of people everywhere. But he does enjoy his family gatherings and I enjoy mine.
Our first few years of marriage we ended up fighting hard about what we were going to do for Christmas. We both wanted to go to our families get-togethers and we both wanted different traditions to carry over with our kids. I can't even explain how hard we fought over this!
But it finally got to the point that we both decided to make a compromise. We figured out things we could live without and things we really wanted to have. Now we have come up with a plan for exactly how we're going to have Christmas and when we will get together with each of our families. We don't have to fight about it. We can both sit back and enjoy everything about the day.
Had we not taken a step back and been willing to give up "our way", we would still be fighting every single year about this.
Are there any areas in your day to day life that you fight and struggle with your spouse? If so, take the time to look at it from a different perspective and see where you can give up your way.
"No, you won’t always see eye-to-eye. You’re not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary. Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won’t have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from.
Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn’t matter in the long run – especially in eternity – then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love."
Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your husband? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn't matter in the long run--especially in eternity--then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love. It will be good for you and good for your marriage.
Day 12 challenge is...Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
Are you a stubborn person? I personally am a very stubborn person! I can form an opinion about something, or decide I want to do something that that's it. My heals are dug in and my mind is made up. End of story, this is what i want to do. Let me tell you, when your married, that does not go over well!
Quick example here...I love Christmas! It's my very favorite time of the year. Everything is bright and wonderful and happy. I love the music, the decorations, all the food, I just love everything about it. Colby however, does not love Christmas. He hates Christmas music and shopping and all the crowds of people everywhere. But he does enjoy his family gatherings and I enjoy mine.
Our first few years of marriage we ended up fighting hard about what we were going to do for Christmas. We both wanted to go to our families get-togethers and we both wanted different traditions to carry over with our kids. I can't even explain how hard we fought over this!
But it finally got to the point that we both decided to make a compromise. We figured out things we could live without and things we really wanted to have. Now we have come up with a plan for exactly how we're going to have Christmas and when we will get together with each of our families. We don't have to fight about it. We can both sit back and enjoy everything about the day.
Had we not taken a step back and been willing to give up "our way", we would still be fighting every single year about this.
Are there any areas in your day to day life that you fight and struggle with your spouse? If so, take the time to look at it from a different perspective and see where you can give up your way.
"No, you won’t always see eye-to-eye. You’re not supposed to be carbon copies of each other. If you were, one of you would be unnecessary. Two people who always share the same opinions and perspectives won’t have any balance or flavor to enhance the relationship. Rather, your differences are for listening to and learning from.
Are you willing to bend to demonstrate love to your spouse? Or are you refusing to give in because of pride? If it doesn’t matter in the long run – especially in eternity – then give up your rights and choose to honor the one you love."
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day 11
Day 11 (Feb 11) "Love cherishes" Eph. 5:28
Don't let the culture around you determine the worth of your marriage. To compare it with something that can be discarded or replaced is to dishonor god's purpose for it. That would be like amputating a limb. Instead, it should be a picture of love between two imperfect people who choose to love each other regardless.
Day 11 challenge is...What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.
Since I married my husband I found out something. I discovered that there is no one in the world who loves me like him. I also found out that there is no one in this world that can hurt me like my husband. The same goes for him, there is no one who loves him like I do and there is also no one who can hurt him like I can. I know everything about him. I know what it takes to encourage him and I know what it takes to crush him.
Have you ever been in a fight with your spouse and instead of holding your tongue, you lash out with hateful words? Words meant to tear at the very core of who they are? I have to admit that I have done exactly that before. But you know what I found out when I did that? I found out that I not only hurt my husband, I also hurt myself.
See the reason for this is, we are one. Plain and simple. What hurts him, hurts me. What blesses him, blesses me.
"When you mistreat your mate, you are also mistreating yourself. Think about it, Your lives are now interwoven together. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you. So when you attack your mate, it is like attacking your own body. It's time to change your thinking. It's time for you to realize that your spouse is as much a part of you as your hand, your eye, or your heart."
"Whenever a husband looks into the eyes of his wife, he should remember that 'he who loves his wife loves himself'. And a wife should remember that when she loves him she is also giving love and honor to herself. When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life."
When you do the challenge for today, whatever need you choose to meet, remember these words and put them into practice. I also wanted to add my own little advice here. While you're doing the challenge, take some of the time to pray for your spouse. Ask Jesus to show you a new and deeper way to love your spouse. No matter how long you've been married your relationship can always grow and deepen.
Don't let the culture around you determine the worth of your marriage. To compare it with something that can be discarded or replaced is to dishonor god's purpose for it. That would be like amputating a limb. Instead, it should be a picture of love between two imperfect people who choose to love each other regardless.
Day 11 challenge is...What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.
Since I married my husband I found out something. I discovered that there is no one in the world who loves me like him. I also found out that there is no one in this world that can hurt me like my husband. The same goes for him, there is no one who loves him like I do and there is also no one who can hurt him like I can. I know everything about him. I know what it takes to encourage him and I know what it takes to crush him.
Have you ever been in a fight with your spouse and instead of holding your tongue, you lash out with hateful words? Words meant to tear at the very core of who they are? I have to admit that I have done exactly that before. But you know what I found out when I did that? I found out that I not only hurt my husband, I also hurt myself.
See the reason for this is, we are one. Plain and simple. What hurts him, hurts me. What blesses him, blesses me.
"When you mistreat your mate, you are also mistreating yourself. Think about it, Your lives are now interwoven together. Your spouse cannot experience joy or pain, blessing or cursing, without it also affecting you. So when you attack your mate, it is like attacking your own body. It's time to change your thinking. It's time for you to realize that your spouse is as much a part of you as your hand, your eye, or your heart."
"Whenever a husband looks into the eyes of his wife, he should remember that 'he who loves his wife loves himself'. And a wife should remember that when she loves him she is also giving love and honor to herself. When you look at your mate, you're looking at a part of you. So treat her well. Speak highly of him. Nourish and cherish the love of your life."
When you do the challenge for today, whatever need you choose to meet, remember these words and put them into practice. I also wanted to add my own little advice here. While you're doing the challenge, take some of the time to pray for your spouse. Ask Jesus to show you a new and deeper way to love your spouse. No matter how long you've been married your relationship can always grow and deepen.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day 10
Day 10 (Feb 10) "Love is unconditional" Rom. 5:8
When you rebuild your marriage with agape love as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before. When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.
Day 10 challenge is...Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of their partner in marriage.
Ok, this was also a really good chapter so i'm going to take a few quotes out to share with y'all. Yes, I said y'all. I'm a Texan. Lets move on.
"If someone were to ask you 'Why do you love your wife?' or 'Why do you love your husband?'--what would you say?"
Would your response be something about their good looks or their personality? For men, would it be something about how she's a good cook or a wonderful mother? "But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on the answers above, the only logical answer would be 'no'. If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities-and then those same qualities disappear-your basis for love is over. The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.
That is a lot to swallow isn't it? I had to stop and really think about this one. I know that if someone were to ask me why I love my husband I would list off things about his character and things he does for me and our family. But is that the extent of it?
I love my husband. With everything I have in me I love him. There is no doubt of that in my mind or in his. But...what if everything about him were to change? Would I continue to love him? Would you be able to?
"If your marriage totally depends on having common interests or enjoying a healthy sex life, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable. Agape love on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional. So unless this kind of love forms the foundation of your marriage, the wet and tear of time will destroy it. Agape love is 'in sickness and health' love, 'for richer or poorer' love, 'for better or worse' love. It is the only kind of love is true love. That's because this is God's kind of love. He doesn't love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving."
"But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless you allow God to begin growing His love within you. Love that 'bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things' (1 Corinthians 13:7) does not come from within. It can only come from God. And don't be surprise, when your spouse begins living confidently under it's shade, if he or she doesn't become even more lovable to you than you remember. You will no longer say 'I love you because...' You will now say, 'I love you period.' "
So take some time today, find something you can do for your spouse, that shows them you love them. Find a way to show them that Agape love. If you are at a place in your marriage that you don't feel the Agape love for them, take the time to pray for your spouse and ask Jesus to help you grow that love inside of you. If Jesus is in you, His love is in you, and His love is Agape love.
When you rebuild your marriage with agape love as its foundation, then the friendship and romantic aspects of your love become more endearing than ever before. When your enjoyment of each other as best friends and lovers is based on unwavering commitment, you will experience an intimacy that cannot be achieved any other way.
Day 10 challenge is...Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of their partner in marriage.
Ok, this was also a really good chapter so i'm going to take a few quotes out to share with y'all. Yes, I said y'all. I'm a Texan. Lets move on.
"If someone were to ask you 'Why do you love your wife?' or 'Why do you love your husband?'--what would you say?"
Would your response be something about their good looks or their personality? For men, would it be something about how she's a good cook or a wonderful mother? "But what if over the course of years, your wife or husband stopped being every one of these things. Would you still love them? Based on the answers above, the only logical answer would be 'no'. If your reasons for loving your spouse all have something to do with his or her qualities-and then those same qualities disappear-your basis for love is over. The only way love can last a lifetime is if it's unconditional. The truth is this: love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one choosing to love.
That is a lot to swallow isn't it? I had to stop and really think about this one. I know that if someone were to ask me why I love my husband I would list off things about his character and things he does for me and our family. But is that the extent of it?
I love my husband. With everything I have in me I love him. There is no doubt of that in my mind or in his. But...what if everything about him were to change? Would I continue to love him? Would you be able to?
"If your marriage totally depends on having common interests or enjoying a healthy sex life, then the foundation of your relationship is unstable. Agape love on the other hand, is selfless and unconditional. So unless this kind of love forms the foundation of your marriage, the wet and tear of time will destroy it. Agape love is 'in sickness and health' love, 'for richer or poorer' love, 'for better or worse' love. It is the only kind of love is true love. That's because this is God's kind of love. He doesn't love us because we are lovable but because He is so loving."
"But you will struggle and fail to attain this kind of marriage unless you allow God to begin growing His love within you. Love that 'bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things' (1 Corinthians 13:7) does not come from within. It can only come from God. And don't be surprise, when your spouse begins living confidently under it's shade, if he or she doesn't become even more lovable to you than you remember. You will no longer say 'I love you because...' You will now say, 'I love you period.' "
So take some time today, find something you can do for your spouse, that shows them you love them. Find a way to show them that Agape love. If you are at a place in your marriage that you don't feel the Agape love for them, take the time to pray for your spouse and ask Jesus to help you grow that love inside of you. If Jesus is in you, His love is in you, and His love is Agape love.
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